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Pregnant with 3rd. Can anyone hold my hand?

(25 Posts)
Frecklesandspecs Tue 26-Feb-13 06:43:42

Please!
About 5 weeks into 3rd very unplanned pregnancy.
I have 2 children who will be 4 and 2 by the time this one arrives.
We have just moved and I don't have support apart from husband.
How will I manage?!!
I'm scared!
I will have 3 kids not yet at school (although dd1 starts pre school soon)

shelly81 Tue 26-Feb-13 12:54:38

Awww you'll manage because you have to ... There's nothin else you can do ... Everything happens for a reason and this little one was obviously meant to be ...... Just like my lil lady in my belly (unplanned also #3) xxx

learnermummy Tue 26-Feb-13 12:57:23

Same here smile. Have come to conclusion it was just meant to be and I'm sure we'll all manage. xxx

mouseymummy Tue 26-Feb-13 13:02:10

I'm pg with my third too... I have 8yr old dd1 and 5 month old dd2!! By the time this one arrives ill have a nine yo and a 13mo... I am shitting it!!

If you feel the need then you're welcome to pm me!! I don't mind!

Riotgrrrl Tue 26-Feb-13 13:56:13

It will be absolutely fine as shelly says.

I really panicked as dc1 going to be 3 and 10 months and dc2 was going to be 2 and half when dc3 was due.

First few weeks were mental but ok. It was hard work but wouldn't change it for world. Best tips were to make kids lunches at breakfast time and to set up activities for them (colouring etc) first thing and leave them to it.

The kids are a lovely gang now and stick up for each other.

Dc4 is due soon so can't have been that awful.

It will be fine x x

Frecklesandspecs Tue 26-Feb-13 14:27:52

Thanks everyone, glad I am not alone! How far along are the rest of you?
Still very early days here - not even been to docs yet!! smile
Good luck to all you others smile

shelly81 Tue 26-Feb-13 14:32:33

I'm almost 29 weeks my DS1 is 13 & DS2 is 11 eeeeeekkkkk massive gap alert lol xxx

Frecklesandspecs Tue 26-Feb-13 14:35:24

Congrats Shelly. That is a big gap but are they excited?
They might help you out more ?
I wish mine were older sad but at least I get to buy a new double buggy! ;)

megandraper Tue 26-Feb-13 14:38:00

You are me nearly two years ago! When DD was born, my DSs were 3 (nearly 4) and nearly 2. I found it SO much easier than when DC2 was born - the fact that DS1 was that bit older made things much easier, plus the two of them occupied each other much more than just one child did.

Don't get me wrong it was (and is) very hard work - just the sheer volume of needs everyone has! But it's fab too. And DD was a very chilled out baby/toddler - I think partly because there was this whirlwind of activity for her to watch. Now that she can join in, she just rushes about with them and they keep each other amused. A lot of squabbling and complaining along with the fun, but that's par for the course.

Look after yourself during the pregnancy - I found the 3rd pregnancy exhausting (body already at a low point before it began...) and did a lot of napping on the sofa while they boys climbed on top of me. It was much easier once the baby was actually born!

And one benefit I am really reaping now from having them all close together is that they're all at a similar-ish stage, so holidays and activities are easy because they all like the same things.

Good luck!

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 26-Feb-13 14:39:00

Me too. 7/8weeks. DD will be 4.5 and DS 21mths when baby arrives.

Atm, it's mostly morning sickness that's making it grim but am stressed about the rest too. Need new car, double buggy, rearrange bedrooms.

Am trying to concentrate on cute baby! And acting like it's my last pregnancy kind of helps too.

Frecklesandspecs Tue 26-Feb-13 14:43:50

Thankyou bed!
My husband has been very hard to convince as he is having a hard time thinking about the practical aspects (new car for 3 car seats ect)
How did you manage with that sort of thing?
Tewi, I havent had any sickness but I was very lucky during the other and didn't have any at all with them - still early days though, so won't speak too soon!
DH is freaking out about having to sell his BMW for a 'family' car!

weegiemum Tue 26-Feb-13 14:44:40

Oh poor you. This happened to me - I had a mirena coil, it fell out, I got pregnant with no3.

It was a ghastly pregnancy (that's why I had a coil, I don't "do" pregnant well! I spent half the pregnancy and a good chunk of the following year in hospital (I had a pregnancy related kidney problem. Oh, and pnd,which isn't surprising in the circumstances!). Things were so bad, dh had a vasectomy which they agreed to even before she was born!

Now I'm looking at it from behind, and yes it was hard. But I have my gorgeous, pretty, enthusiastic, fantastic dd2, who is 9. It was a very, very hard couple of years - I wish I could have skipped it - but every horrible second was worth it because of her! And she's had her own (totally unrelated) problems, a hip condition, but we all muddle through.

She has a fabulous bigger sister (13) and brother (11) so yes, I had a newborn dd2, 22 month old ds and dd1, 9 weeks off tiring 4!. It was, as I said, hard work. But totally, totally worth it!!

megandraper Tue 26-Feb-13 15:17:26

Well done for not getting sick - I get it loads during pregnancy and this one was worst of all, at one stage I had a bucket next to the bed because I'd regularly wake up at night and spew up copiously - which repulsed DH, as you can probably imagine smile

On the car front we are probably not much help since DH is not a car person and couldn't care less what he drives. We had a Xsara Picasso, so we could fit the 3rd car seat in without much trouble. We're just about to upgrade to the Grand Picasso (a 7-seater) now though, as the extra seats will be useful for when we need to ferry an extra person about, plus having more boot space is always useful, as we tend to drive when we go on hols. Maybe you can get your DH interested in 7-seaters - there is something rather fascinating about them, I think!

Once you've worked out the car, and where they're going to sleep, everything else is relatively straightforward though, they just all share/budge up a bit. And you get maximum usage out of clothes/toys (DD is wearing a lot of handme down boys' clothes, and seems quite happy with it - but I tend to go unisex in most stuff anyway).

I don't know how yours are for sleep, mine are not great. The boys have just begun to sleep through reliably and stay in bed till a decent hour (meaning 6.30) but DD is still pretty erratic. I dream of sleep - or would, if I got any IYSWIM.

learnermummy Tue 26-Feb-13 18:45:18

I'm almost 24 weeks and DS1 is 6 and DS2 is 3. Luckily our main car is plenty big enough. Just had to persuade DS2 into the smallest room to make room for double bed and cot in his room, but good so far!

Beatrixpotty Tue 26-Feb-13 18:53:37

Congratulations!I'm 37 weeks with DS3,DS1 is 3.5 &DS2 nearly 2.Half way through I started to worry about how I'll manage but now feel like it will be fine.DS2 is not used to be an only,which was the hardest thing for DS1 when he was born.Have bought a new sling as figure I'll be wearing it a lot!Spent ages looking at cars and in the end realised 3 car seats only really fit in an MPV.There's a bit of choice but not loads..have gone for an s-max.It's been tiring being pg with little ones and as I've got bigger picking up all their Lego & toys has become a pain so I've resorted to bribery to make them clear up.But since starting mat leave at 35 weeks suddenly have a last minute energy surge and feeling fine.Can't say any more than that but we'll be fine smile

jbakedbean Tue 26-Feb-13 19:43:13

I'm 7 weeks with dc3, ds 1 is almost 4, ds2 is 2.5yrs and I broke up with their dad over a year ago.
I met my partner, who has proposed and who I am head over heals in love with 5 months ago and we knew straight away it was meant to be. We're both old enough to have experienced what we don't want to know what we do.
Any way, he lives 90 miles away, I work 50 hours a week, one day at home, 2 in london and two in the office, plus look after my two gorgeous children and now I'm happily but as you can imagine incredibly tired pregnant. I'm moving after the first trimester with my boys into his place, which will be great but then i think about all the packing, sorting out schools, keeping the house tidy whilst the estate agent shows people around, slightly panicking but I know we'll get through it.

Very excited, just hope it's not twins, otherwise dp will be going from eligible batchelor to man with 2 toddlers and 2 babies, here's hoping there will just be three to cope with. lol

Good luck

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 26-Feb-13 19:50:43

Those of you who are a bit further along with their surprise babies, did you find you bonded a bit more after the scan?

I still find it quite unreal.

PinkGirlsMummy Tue 26-Feb-13 21:35:59

Just posting to say I am in the same situation as you DS(5), DD(2.5) and very early stages pg and feeling worried too. I think it is most dificult in earliest stages because you can't talk to people about it. I am expecting sickness to start any day!!

LadyMetroland Tue 26-Feb-13 21:37:10

Hi, I have found it hard to feel bonded to this baby but it's definitely getting better. Like you I am very unexpectedly pg with #3 and my others are still preschool (will be nearly 2 and 3.5)

Am seriously contemplating being sterilized after this baby as I am having a planned cs which means they could do it during that. Just clamp a couple of tubes and it's done! I really hate being pg and the idea of ever having another strikes fear into me.

Now I'm 32 weeks it feels more real and I'm sure it Will be fine in the long run. Love the idea of three girls playing together when they're older (or fighting, I know!) In the short term Im worried about how to give each of them the time they need individually. Suspect baby will be biggest loser on that front for the first few months.

Am enrolling dd1 for afternoon sessions at preschool so at least when dd2 has her afternoon nap I will get some time alone with baby.

On a practical level we need to buy new car plus THREE new car seats! This is because our old seats have foot props which can't be used in most people carriers due to the underfloor storage boxes. Gah!

As for help, we have a cleaner and i will be keeping her when Im on mat leave from my job as I would truly rather have a vaguely clean house than take a holiday. Financial priority for me (holidays with v young children are too much hard work anyway!)

Good luck with the pregnancy. I definitely know where you're coming from.

34 weeks pregnant with my third too, I have an 8 a 2
Year old. Totally unplanned and we are in 2 bedroom house which needs to go on the market , I'm crapping myself and scolding myself for being so irresponsible but actually starting to look forward to it now :-)

And yes I bonded more after my scans I was a bit despondent at first but now so excited about my baby girl, had a growth scan last week and her face was so like my daughters :-)

Frecklesandspecs Wed 27-Feb-13 07:01:52

Thankyou again. DH will have to start getting interested in bigger cars! We have just moved to a 3 bed so space is not too much of an issue. It would have been quite hard where we were before in a flat.
Haven't told anyone yet obviously, have no idea what to expect reaction wise.
This is my fourth pregnancy (including a miscarriage at 12 weeks some years ago) and wondering how long it would stay a secret. When did you start showing?
I feel quite bloated already!
I put on loads of weight with other two and have managed to lose it (31/2 stone!) since dd2 which I am really glad I did but determined not to put it all on again with this one .
I will have lots of walking to do as dd is starting school nursery very soon but hopefully that will keep me going. I like trying to get out everyday as although dh drives I haven't passed test (sad). (we live in London and I wouldn't drive here anyway if I could ever help it, though I do need to one day.
Oh what a mix of emotions! You would have thought we would be used to this by now!
Anyone else is S. London?

learnermummy Wed 27-Feb-13 09:58:29

TeWiSavesTheDay, it's still a bit unreal for me at 24 weeks. Have found out this one is a girl which is exciting but daunting all at once! Have started to buy things now so hoping that will help it all become more real!

We have an SMax and it will be great for three seats across the back, and with the addition of a dog rail we should be able to pile the luggage high in the back!

I was dreading telling people and we'd often said we'd stop at two. People did ask 'was it planned?' and i just said yes, we'd had a change of heart as I don't want the baby to think it was a mistake iyswim.

megandraper Wed 27-Feb-13 10:56:16

I showed straight away - hadn't lost weight from previous pregnancies (and still have a bit to go, though hopefully that will go once I've finally finished bf). In fact, people tended to assume I was carrying twins, which is always gratifying hmm

TeWiSavesTheDay Wed 27-Feb-13 11:15:30

I have just stopped bf basically, so was quite slim but have a belly straightaway! It better not be twins!

It's quite awkward, because I don't really want to tell people until I feel more comfortAble and settled with it all. Good to know I'm not alone in feeling a bit detached though.

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