HELP! Having anxiety dreams about baby 'stuff'...

[badguider]

1st time pregnant here and only 10wks but I just woke up at 5am this morning having a nightmare about not being able to get into my flat because of too many buggies, prams, pushchairs, carseats, cribs, baskets, cots.... basically I dreamt that I didn't know what to buy (which I don't) so keep getting it wrong (buying a moses basket then the baby being too big almost immediately so buying a crib, then two weeks later needing a cot) till I can't move in my flat - In my dream I couldn't get in the door for piled high almost unused crap. Given I hate clutter anyway and our flat is small this isn't unrealistic.

Looking at the 10 'essentials' on MN is NOT helping because I am so ignorant don't even know WTF a 'travel system' is! Is it just a fancy name for a pram?

I think I've seen car seats that fit onto a frame to make a pram. That sounds good as I could leave the bottom bit downstairs and carry the baby up. But then I heard you can't put a baby in a car seat for more than a very short time so how does that work? What if you're out all day in the car or walking or both?
I've heard that little babies need to be lying flat facing you, then bigger babies a bit more upright facing you, then bigger ones still can face forward to see what's going on in the world.... is that three different pram/buggies???

Also, we're both cyclists and runners and would want our child in a bike seat or trailer from 6mnths onwards, maybe one of those trailers that can also be an off-road jogging buggy (though not sure that'd fit downstairs and too big to carry up and down so maybe that won't work) but either way we don't want a load of stuff for the early months we won't use again once the baby is big enough for a bike seat.

Now I KNOW that I've got another 30 weeks to work this out but for some stupid pregnancy hormone reason this is actually giving me genuine nightmares so PLEASE can somebody help.....??????

[stacey212528]

First timer here as well! Am now 14 weeks and have felt a lot of the anxiety you have don't know all your answers but a travel system is usually a pram that comes witha car seat that can be attached to the chassis. Most prams grow/adapt along with baby, I.e from carrycot to push chair.Hope this helps a bit (:

[MyGlassIsJustHalfWet]

Hi, just wanted to say that you don't hVe to have everything before the baby comes and don't think you 'have' to do what other people say.
Yes, it's best if baby isn't in a car seat for long as it bad for breathing/back so if you're in a car you need to stop and get baby out for a break.
Travel systems are prams that normally include a car seat, bassinet and seat. You don't have to have this if it's not right for you.
The baby will probably be in with you for a while so don't worry about cot/nursery stuff. You can always decide when baby arrives what you want.
I'd try to talk to other mums about their pushchairs and go and see them in shops- get the assistants to put the whole thing together, talk you through it all etc.
Write a list and break it down into sections- clothes, travel, sleeping etc so it doesn't seem as daunting.
Hth and congrats.

[TheOneAndOnlyAlpha]

We bought a travel system second hand for the bassinet and car seat when DS was tiny, but he soon moved into a maclaren which will last him until he stops using it. I like my maclaren as it is light, good storage underneath and folds up easily. I do quite like the buggaboo type pushchair, but apart from being mega expensive they don't fold up like a concertina IYKWIM.

For sleeping, we bought a Moses basket and stand, and a large cot bed (again from eBay but bought new mattresses etc) plus a cot divider from mothercare for when he first went in it.

Get a bath set from mothercare.

That's about it!! Good luck!!

[TheOneAndOnlyAlpha]

Oh! And lots of babygros. The poo and wee escapes a lot. Packs from sainsburys or tescos are great. Mothercare one don't wash we'll and are a rip off IMHO.

[MyGlassIsJustHalfWet]

Agree with theone, you can put baby in the newer maclarens from birth now so no need for separate buggy. They're lightweight and last well.

[badguider]

Thanks - that's helpful - so a 'travel system' is a frame, car seat, pram bit and pushchair bit that all fit together?
I know I have to have a car seat for leaving the hospital so don't want to buy a stand-alone one then find out later i should have bought a 'travel system' instead and the original car seat is wasted... basically i HATE over-consumption and buying stuff that doesn't get used and clutters up the flat.

How long can a baby sleep in a moses basket on the floor? (we have a very low bed, but it has a wide wooden frame so the baby can't be in with us as the frame is kind of sharp edged).

[sugarandspite]

Right, let's go back to basics on this. Fundamentally the only stuff you really have to have are:

• something to feed the baby with. Boobs will likely do this just fine so only bother buying bottles / steriliser if you end up needing them rather than buying beforehand. A microwave steriliser can live in your microwave saving work top space.
  

• something for baby to sleep in. You could co-sleep from the start (so baby just sleeps in your bed with you) but most people find the idea a bit scary at the beginning when they are so teeny. So you'll need either a Moses basket or a cot.
  

Moses baskets are good as you can carry them around the house and put baby down to sleep in it anywhere. Most last around 2-4 months depending on size of your baby.
There's nothing stopping you putting your baby straight into a cot - if you can fit one in your room. Although some babies find going from being tightly squashed inside you to being in a big cot makes them a bit stressed (so they cry). Which is why a lot of people use a Moses basket.

• something to move baby around in. You could just carry them but your arms will get very tired! A lot of people swear by slings (I did) so no need for a pushchair at all.
  

If you do want a pushchair. DON'T just go into mothercare. Most of the really great do-everything-you-need pushchairs are only available online or through independent retailers. Go onto the pushchair forum here and get advice from the gurus.
Remember though that while a lot of people find a travel system useful, the majority will end up with a light maclaren stroller by 1year as its smaller and lighter.

Apologies... Toddler kicking off... Back later!

[badguider]

theone and myglass - from what you're saying it sounds like the maclaren isn't a 'travel system', so do you just buy a completely seperate car seat? does that mean lots of lifting the baby from one to the other and back again if you go out somewhere in the car?

[badguider]

sugar thanks, i'm not fussed about clothes (will get tons of presents and babygrows can be bought in sainsburys with the weekly shop) and plan to bf so not worrying about bottle stuff unless it becomes necessary.

The car seat bothers me most as it's the one thing you really have to sort out before going into labour.
Sleeping arrangements are my second worry as our flat and bedroom are both small.
Third is some kind of wheeled transport for the LO that works with our flat/stairs.

As I say 'less is more' and my worry that gives me nightmares is drowning in too much 'stuff' rather than not enough.

[MyGlassIsJustHalfWet]

The maclaren you can't put a car seat on no but tbh, I never used the car seat on my frame much. I used to carry car seat and put in a trolley for a quick shop at tesco or if we were in town or longer shopping dd would go in lie flat pram.
I still use my travel system pushchair but I could have done with just the maclaren.
Yes, I have two pushchairs for one baby have also seen another an trying to talk myself out of buying it

[sugarandspite]

...
The problem with buying pushchairs is you don't honestly know how you'll use it yet. Whether you really will walk everywhere or get the bus, whether your daily walks are more likely to be through a field, in a park or around new look. I think there's a lot to be said for using a sling to start with and then buying a pushchair once you've lives with the baby for a bit. But if in doubt, buy a baby jogger.

• something to take baby around in the car. There are a few infant stage car seats around but choosing one like a maxi cosi may be helpful as it is the one that travel system manufacturers most commonly make their chassis fit - giving you a bit more flexibility of choice. Baby shouldn't be in it for more than 2 hours at a time as their heavy heads restrict their airways when not laying flat, lowering oxygen levels over a prolonged period of time.
  

As far as everything else goes: baby can be happily bathed in a washing up bowl / sink for months or striaght into the big bath. Stuff like a baby gym is helpful but only from a couple of months really. But all that can wait to be bought later on.

But buy blankets (lots of) of different weights and thickness, tons and tons of vests and make sure you have a comfy place to sit and feed day and night as early feeds can take a long time and happen very often.
Good luck!

[Bejeena]

Oh I am so relieved to read that it is not just me. I have been totally stressed by this whole travel system thing as I am totally clueless as to what we actually need. The other night I dreamt that I hadn't attached the car seat properly and was driving along and the seat had come off the base without me noticing. It was a total nightmare.

So regards to the car seat I have some questions since although we do have a car we don't use it very much, just for shopping and the odd trip out somewhere which can probably be avoided once baby is here.

If we have the baby in the hospital where we plan on having it at the moment I think we will probably just get the tram or walk home. So I am assuming we don't have to have a car seat for this?

Also if I understand correctly they have a back facing car seat at the very start, but how long is this for? If it is only 3 months then we won't bother getting one and just not take the baby anywhere in the car. We live pretty centrally anyway which is why we don't use car very much.

I am due in August, but for Christmas we will use the car to drive home to see our family, with ferry and stops about 10-12 hour trip. Would we already be onto bigger car seat when baby is 4 months old? Also the baby cannot be in car seat for more than 2 hours at a time, so guess we have to stop every 2 hours, but how long for?

Thanks for any light on this subject, I am a bit overwhelmed.

[Ellypoo]

The first stage car seats which are rear facing will last until around 9 months, depending on the weight of your baby (weight is more important than age with car seats).

I don't think you need to have a car seat if you aren't going home in a car - if you are going on the tram/walking then I would have thought that a lie flat pram would be fine - ask your MW to be sure though, as different hospitals have different policies.

[MyGlassIsJustHalfWet]

You can get a car seat that baby goes in from birth until they're about 4. They are rear facing but turn forwards when baby is a certain weight. Saves getting a baby carrier if you're not getting a travel system.
Baby will be nowhere near a forward facing seat at 4 months.

[sugarandspite]

When looking at car seats, have a look here about the differences between forward facing and rear facing www.rearfacing.co.

Lots of people area keen to move babies forward facing as quickly as possible but rear facing is 5 times safer in an impact. You can get car seats that rear face up til 4yrs

[sugarandspite]

Sorry www.rearfacing.co.uk/

[Bejeena]

Ok that is very helpful thank you. A seat that can be used from birth until 4 and adjusted as baby gets bigger sounds ideal for what we would need.

I haven't really thought about a travel system in too much detail but I am not sure I would actually use it very much? I think if I am going into the shops or something I'd most likely always go on foot so would just use normal pram (not even thought about prams). Anywhere we'd go in the car would probably be somewhere that we wouldn't need a pram, like to visit friends or something or other. So am thinking travel system would not be right thing for us?

Luckily we are going to go public with the pregnancy soon (am 13 weeks tomorrow) so I can ask some friends and colleagues instead of pestering on here.

[TheOneAndOnlyAlpha]

Back now! Yes, we bought a quinny frame and car seat and bassinet second hand for pretty much nothing, which I liked when he was really tiny as it was easy taking him out and about, in and out the car etc. when he was about 4 months we bought a maclaren to see him through. I'd do the same if/when number 2 comes. Yes, it's 2 pushchairs, but I wanted the car seat/frame option when he was born. I have a small car too, so the maclaren wins for foldability hands down.

[TheOneAndOnlyAlpha]

John Lewis were excellent when we were choosing. The guy was really knowledgable and we got talking to other parents-to-be about it too.

[LexyMa]

We bought a basic car seat from mothercare which has the same fixtures on the sides as maxi cosi - our philosophy was that if it bears a kite mark it is the acceptable standard, you do not need to pay more for a brand name.

NCT sales been mentioned yet? we got cot (£30) and stair gates (pair, £35) from there when baby a few months old. Lots of toys and clothing too.

If you look up the "austerity housekeeping" blog, she has written a couple of posts quite recently on what you need for a basic layette.