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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Did you find out what you were having?

43 replies

Pocket1 · 07/02/2013 18:56

I'm having my 20 week scan next week and think that's when we can find out if we are having a girl or a boy.

Did you find out? Would you do it again? If you

haven't found out yet, will you?
I think we want to know - but so many people frown when I tell them and say we should wait as it makes the LO's arrival even more special...

OP posts:

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rubyslippers · 07/02/2013 18:59

nope

i didn't find out either time and it was fab for us and yes it was incredible for me to have my second DD placed on me so i could she was a girl

i will never forget that moment

providing you and yoru DP are happy that with the decision you make, then that's the most important thing

Kafri · 07/02/2013 19:09

Another one here who didn't want to know, we'd tried for that long that it didn't matter to us whether we had a blue or a pink!

Just go with whatever you feel is right

There's plenty out there in neutral colours for you to not NEED to know but if you want to know then ask.

Or, keep fingers crossed that LO has their legs crossed so the decision os taken away from you.

Oh, and I was adamant I wanted a surprise and it was still difficult saying no when the guy asked if we wanted to know. I stuck to my guns though and it was lovely finding out on the day!

Whenever anyone asked if I knew what I was having I replied 'a baby'.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 07/02/2013 19:09

With my 1st, the sonographer wasn't entirely sure, so told us to buy neutral. (Dd)
With dc2 we had a trainee sonographer there as well, so had a detailed "this is how you can tell" talk through sexing the baby. (Dd)
Dc3 we wanted to know, because already having 2 girls we needed wanted to know if we needed to keep or buy clothes, lucky we did or ds would have stood a good chance of being dressed in pink.

phoenixrose314 · 07/02/2013 20:48

Nope didn't want to know. I am an impatient person and was reluctant to wait, but now am so glad, it really does seem more exciting for me personally - plus I love other people guessing!! Lol :)

girlsyearapart · 07/02/2013 21:04

Didn't find out any of the times.
Have three girls and a boy

SilentMammoth · 07/02/2013 21:07

Have never found out.

Finding out on the day is ace!

Quilty · 07/02/2013 21:10

We haven't found out and I'm a sonographer so I had to look away a lot which wasn't easy!
For us we just didn't feel we needed to know so thought we might as well have a surprise to look forward to. I also think not knowing is saving us money because so much baby stuff is pink or blue we are probably not buying as much as we would have done if we knew. I would imagine that if you knew then it would be hard to resist picking up bits and pieces whenever you go shopping!

JaneLane · 07/02/2013 21:14

Have never found out myself and have 3 DSs so far and another DC on the way :)

The Trust where I had my first DS wouldn't reveal gender to anybody and we enjoyed the surprise so much we chose not to find out for any of the others.

Littlemissexpecting · 07/02/2013 21:18

We found out.
We both wanted to and don't see why not. I have had a few friends who tutted about spoiling the surprise but I thought it would make it easier to spread the cost of items we need.
It has helped me bond immensely after sickness from hell.
It has made it feel more real for me, knowing we have a little boy growing inside me.
And why not? We have the technology now to tell us at 20 weeks, so why shouldn't I find out?!
They will never say 100% and will only tell you if they are pretty sure so you just need to be prepared that if you were very unlucky they could say girl but you could have a boy!!

catladycourtney1 · 07/02/2013 21:35

I planned not to find out, but we changed our minds a few days before the scan. I thought I'd regret finding out, but I feel that the excitement and suspense of waiting for the scan was enough for me, and I'm really enjoying buying lots of pretty pink things and imagining what my daughter might be like!

Also I had managed to convince myself that I was having a boy before we found out, so it's probably a good job we did! It took me a while to stop calling her "he."

josiejay · 07/02/2013 21:41

Didn't find out the first time, did find out the second time...both fab in different ways. Both ways you are getting a surprise, just at a different point in time! x

Kelerina · 07/02/2013 21:50

Found out, too impatient!! Really though I am so glad I found out, am 37 weeks now and I think I will be genuinely surprised when handed a real baby......

ooer · 07/02/2013 21:57

Our NHS policy at the time was not to try and tell the sex from a scan (scans weren't that great in those days and mine was at 12 weeks or so).

In any case my DH didn't want to know in advance - so much so that it was in my birth plan they weren't to tell us the sex of the baby, just hand Baby over so we could find out for ourselves!

marriedinwhite · 07/02/2013 21:58

Ours are older 18 and 14 now.

I don't think anything is as special as delivering your baby and finding out whether it's a boy or a girl. I think it's a gift that so many miss nowadays and part of the magic of the birth.

Will add dd was born 51 weeks after ds2 died and all I wanted was another boy to replace him. I didn't expect a girl and was scared if I had one because I didn't think I could cope with life without a replacement. Her birth and finding out I had a girl was one of the most ecstatic and beautiful moment of my life and I don't know if I would have handled it as well had I known in advance and had my "hopes" dashed. Helped that she was overwhelmingly well and healthy!

Lexiesinclair · 07/02/2013 22:00

I found out - and definitely would again. I agree it doesn't spoil the surprise, you just get the surprise earlier, and I do think it helps with bonding, and definitely with planning and buying things.

rrreow · 07/02/2013 22:17

The baby's sex is a fact at conception... I honestly don't understand how it's more special waiting until the baby is born. I respect anyone's opinion not to find out, but I find that particular reasoning flawed.

For various reasons I knew I would suffer from gender disappointment if my baby wasn't a girl. So I wanted to find out at the scan so I would be able to work through my feelings at my leisure. That was the right decision for me.

We found out at the scan with our first pregnancy as well and like you got a lot of mixed responses. You just have to do what you want to do, because there are always going to be other people who disagree with your choices (and it continues with other stuff as well! Everyone has an opinion when it comes to babies/parenting)

SucksToBeMe · 07/02/2013 22:19

I asked both times, I found it added to the excitement!

AlisonL1981 · 07/02/2013 22:32

Yes, at 22 weeks we had a private gender scan. Was desperate to find out. Wanted to buy gender specific clothes etc!

rainand · 07/02/2013 22:44

Yes, and it was awesome to!

Countmyblessings · 07/02/2013 23:02

I found out with this one DC 4 I had 3 losses and I never got to know as was early so knowing,having short list of names and actually knowing it was what I hoped for as this is my final lap is just great!
Different stroke for different folks!!!!
It's def a personal choice and I still haven't told the family so it will be a surprise to everyone else but us!!!
5 weeks and counting and I'm sure I will still be emotional and crying about it all!!!!!

Good luck!

TwitchyTail · 07/02/2013 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itsallinmyhead · 08/02/2013 00:26

We found out with both, (DD 14 and DS 9 weeks) and decided to because, for us, we were then able to bond with our little people using their name (we also had those sorted).

I totally get why people want the surprise but we felt it was right for us to know and plan accordingly because we're both nosy bastards

Good luck!

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Pocket1 · 08/02/2013 01:22

Thank you for all your responses. I like the fact that nobody has regretted their decision either way - so you can't seem to go wrong. I asked DP again tonight and he's keen to know, so I think we will find out. As someone said, it will still be a lovely surprise on the day to be handed a real baby!

Shame about the insomnia right now though!

OP posts:

Startail · 08/02/2013 01:33

Yes, I had an amniotic first time so they knew for certain and were quite happy to tell me.

DH and I desperately wanted a girl and really wanted time to adjust if it was a boy. Totally football loathing household.

Second time I wasn't as bothered, but asked at my 20 week scan anyway. She thought girl and DD2 she is.

Of course DD2 has been known to play football, tag rugby and hockey and gets out of bed every Sat for ballet. So we didn't totally escape.

Startail · 08/02/2013 01:35

Definitely no regrets at asking.
DD1s birth took 27 hrs. It would have seemed even longer if I didn't already feel I knew her.

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