Will I ever be fit again?

[weaverofmetals]

Part moan, part honest question.

I hope this is an okay topic for this question... I wasn't quite sure where to put it. DD is 9mo old. Before I got pregnant, I was battling some health issues but finally managing to do enough physical activity that I was on my way to being quite fit -- I'd lost over 3 stone in the past several years and was doing martial arts twice a week, plus lots of walking, and was considering taking up running.

Pregnancy put a stop to the martial arts immediately (it was rather physical and we fell and hit each other a lot...), and I decided newly pregnant might not be the best time to begin running. Then SPD started in the second trimester and I spent 6 months barely even walking (by the end I could barely move with crutches). Then the birth was an EMCS. I could walk again, but the recovery was long.

Pregnancy weight has come off, but I'm starting to gain slowly as I'm just not active enough. I'm still having physical problems walking long or fast hurts, and the physio told me I've sprained my pelvis (although at least it's still aligned). My sternum had gotten knocked out of place during pregnancy, and it's back in place but my ribs keep jamming when I bend down. I'm still regularly taking pain medication to enable me to sleep. I feel like I can't ever be fit again I can't even carry my baby for long. I can't imagine doing the martial arts I used to if I can't bend down without it hurting!

Will my body ever be able to exercise again? My friends who are Mums talk about how much carrying their baby/running after their toddler helped them get fit again, and how strong they got as the baby got heavier. But I just can't do that, and as she gets heavier doing those things seems further and further away.

[Kiwiinkits]

You will get fit again if you want to, and you prioritise it. With your range of issues the best thing you can do would probably work with a physiotherapist to develop up an exercise regime. They will probably suggest swimming or water aerobics: great way to get fit but without the impact. You could also look into a backpack so you can go on bush walks or hikes with your baby?
Attitude matters. That is, it might take a mental shift away from "i am immobile and sore" to "I can do x,y, and z for exercise today". Hard.
Btw I have found exercise is very hard to prioritise with kids, but is such an essential component of my mental health and sense of well being that its near the top of the priority list. Not always, though.

[Kiwiinkits]

Sorry, please delete the bit about the backpack. Brain stopped momentarily.

[cassell]

How about starting with something gentle like post natal Pilates? It will help build up your core strength and any decent teacher should be able to adapt exercises to suit you. I also had SPD and have residual problems and I've been going since ds2 was 6wks (he's now 8.5mo) and it's been a huge help.

[weaverofmetals]

Hmm, pilates sounds interesting. There appears to be one near us, and it talks about dealing with injuries, etc. And it's not as horrendously expensive as I thought it might be! Although I'll still have to wait until we could afford it, even so. But it looks like their beginners classes are booked for the next several months anyway, so I could look into it then.

I've been going to a private physio who is just magic -- he helped during pregnancy, and I'm sure I'd have been in a wheelchair months before the birth without him. But I've only been going when in desperate need, as he IS expensive. Although if I find myself in enough pain I visit him again, I will think to ask about an exercise regime. I wonder if through the NHS might work? They sent me to an antenatal physio during pregnancy, who did little other than provide some braces for my carpal tunnel and tell me to do pelvic floor exercises. But perhaps exercise programs might be more their forte. Who would I ask about a referral? My GP? Or can the HV do something like that? I forget that they were looking after me, too, in those early months.

I can see what you mean by attitude & priorities, kiwi. Although at the moment my priorities go: caring for baby, going to work, keeping house sanitary, feeding self and husband, keeping house tidy... and I'm failing a bit at the later ones already. But just the thought of in a couple months I could investigate pilates helps -- it's a vision of progress in the future, which is what I was losing sight of.

[CityDweller]

I've had plenty of NHS physio (for running injuries prior to being pg and for spd now I am) and a) you have to push for your referral and b) often they're not all that great. But one thing they're almost guaranteed to do is give you rehabilitative exercises and it sounds like that's what you're after - so go to your GP and push for referral (although, you may still be in the system from being referred for spd and may be able to call the women's health physio direct at the hospital you gave birth at?)

And I second pilates. It's the one thing I can do that doesn't aggravate my spd (and in fact seems to help it, unlike yoga which makes it worse) and I had been doing it prior to pg for about a year and I'm a big fan. You feel improvements in strength quite quickly and it's great for back/ pelvic/ core issues. I took it up when I had an injury that meant I had to give up most of my prior physical activity (I used to do triathlons) and it helped give me that 'vision of progress for the future' you're looking for (and a sense that one day I might be able to run/ cycle again without perpetually picking up injuries).

Good luck! I know too well that feeling of being down that comes with restricted activity, especially for someone who's been active and fit before. Think small steps...

[Kiwiinkits]

It's so easy to put everyone else's needs before your own. Your priority list is quite telling. Exercise and recovery is you looking after yourself : don't feel guilty about it, just do it. Lock in your workout sessions, block off that time for you, make sure DH knows he's responsible for babycare and cooking on say, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Don't let him off the hook. You'd do the same for him, after all, if he was injured and required recovery.

[Kiwiinkits]

You will feel so alive when you start exercising again! Yaaaay go you!!

[Emsyboo]

Hiya I wasn't that fit before having DS1 but through SPD a traumatic birth and long recovery input in a lot of weight. I then suffered from PND
I was unhappy with my weight I felt my fitness (or lack of it) was going to affect my ability to run round after DS.
I started taking an hour a day to Di fitness videos easier than you think to fit in around running after DH and DS at nights of course DH was supportive as he is a bit if a fitness fanatic the exercise helped my self esteem and PND.
Before I got pregnant again I had lost all my baby weight and a bit more even though I was eating healthily and large portions breastfeeding I was a lot more toned.
Increasing my fitness at home gave me confidence to do classes and go to the gym - babysitter permitted and once DS was walking and running it was easy to have fun with him and wear us both out- before he was walking long walks pushing his pram at a good pace worked wonders I also did this wearing sketchers toners.
I am actually looking forward to doing it all again as being pregnant this time have had to cut down and feel so much more lathargic from no exercise.
Congrats on your LO good luck and don't give up hope if you want to get fit it's achievable but you do have to shuffle things and want it x x

[backwardpossom]

Yes absolutely you can. I found going to a regular club forced me into doing exercise and DH was very supportive. I joined a running club when DS was about a year old and ended up running a half marathon about a year later! So yes, it can definitely be done. Good luck OP :)

[Rockchick1984]

I know it's not the main thing you were looking for help with, but it may be worth you exploring the option of a sling for carrying your DD. One of my very good friends still had SPD and problems due to birth injuries and her DD is nearly 2 - she is in agony after pushing the pram, but is fine after using the sling! I don't mean a baby bjorn type, have a look for a local sling meet, but different types spread the baby's weight differently and it will almost certainly be easier than carrying her in your arms!

[weaverofmetals]

Thanks so much for your story, emsy. I can't believe I actually forgot I used to 20min of Tai Chi DVD each morning! I bet I can do that again. When DD gets older, maybe even she'd like to join in. :) It is good to know it is possible to bounce back.

Glad to hear pilates was good for your SPD, city. That is encouraging. And maybe I can call the NHS physio directly, as I have her info back from pregnancy. If I need to get a referral again, the worst she can do is tell me that.

Yeah, I know I'm doing a bunch for others, although I do in fact really enjoy cooking, so that is a bit for me, too (I'm more annoyed at times that I can't spend the amount of time preparing meals that I want, and end up making quicky-dinners instead. I made a nice two-course chinese for dinner tonight, which made me happy :) ). I think DH will be supportive of some time for my exercising, if I can get up the time/energy.

I actually do have a sling -- I use a moby wrap to take DD on the bus, and have been wearing it cooking, but am currently looking into something for back carry as that isn't good for frying on the hob and she's starting to grab for things, too. The moby seems to work better for walking distances than working around the house, as I seem to manage longer times when I go out than I can inside. It is so hard as she really likes being carried and I hate that it hurts me and I have to put her down after a shortish time.

[Rockchick1984]

She's likely to be getting a bit heavy for a moby anyway - they claim to last for a lot longer than they are actually comfortable for! A woven wrap would be ideal for you (something like a Lenny Lamb with bamboo is cheap and ideal as a starter wrap as its so soft) and you can experiment with different carries to find the most comfortable for you; or a mei tai if you don't want the faff of a long wrap (although I'd definitely suggest try before you buy as some put the weight onto your hips, some onto your back and some where you can't feel the weight anywhere!)

[eltsihT]

I found my fittest increased after my son started walking, we go for a walk every afternoon, fills in time and I love nature walks at first it was just a little, now I walk at least 2 miles a day with him.

I used to make him walk and carry him a little, I.e you walk to the next bridge and then I will carry you to the next one. With being pregnant I now stick to pathways and take the pushchair as I can't carry him for long distances. It took time but before I fell pregnant, (9 months of going for walks) I was feeling loads fitter and lost all the baby weight.

Planning on doing the same after this baby is born