Having taken five pregnancy tests over the last three days, it is slowly starting to sink in that this is actually happening. This is not a planned pregnancy and I am scared out of my mind. I am only 23, in the first year of my doctorate and this is just not how things were meant to happen. I am in a relationship, but he is also still studying and has another year left before finishing med school. We only started dating a few months ago. I just don't know what to do. I haven't told anyone (including him) and have not stopped crying since finding out I am definitely pregnant. We always used protection. Always. I can't afford a baby, I have no idea how I could continue studying/working if I had a baby, I don't know how to take care of a baby, I have no family, none of my friends have children, I live in a flat share, ... I never thought this would happen to me.
I know I need to tell him and go to the GP, but I just can't. That would make it real and I can't do this. I am so scared.
Could someone please tell me it'll be ok? That I will magically figure out how to handle this. That my life isn't over. That I would not be a terrible mother.
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Pregnancy
Pregnant and really don't think I can do this.
OhThePlacesYoullGo · 02/12/2012 13:32
Even at 32 my unplanned pregnancy made me feel like an irresponsible, guilty teenager so believe me, you're not alone...
Talk to someone - a trusted friend, a family member, a counsellor from Marie Stopes or similar. You have choices and they are only for YOU to make - good luck 
I decided to go ahead - I briefly considered my options but came to the conclusion that no child of mine would ever be unloved so it didn't seem right to abort. I have a dd from my failed marriage and her care is shared with her dad and I'm self-employed working from home so can fit that around childcare.
I met the baby's father on a dating site less than 3 months before I realised I was pregnant - his profile didn't mention his supersperm that took no notice of my copper coil! Luckily, he's an absolutely brilliant guy, who has taken everything in his stride and actually came to terms with the pregnancy much quicker than I did. We've moved in together now and baby is due in January.
He has really helped me to see that I am not on my own - that we were a team in making the baby and will be a team in looking after him, each other and our futures. I hope your baby's father is helpful too!
Either way, find out what support there is for single mums at university - my uni had a creche facility and you may be able to defer a year. When you are ready, talk to as many people as possible, in RL and on MN, and see what financial support and practical help you are entitled to.
Good luck (again!)
My sister also got pregnant whilst at university, also at 23, although different circumstances. She was single and was part way through her second year. She also struggled to make a decision about what to do but continued with the pregnancy. She was able to continue that year as she was about 6 months pg when she had her exams. Then took a year out and returned when her DD was 12 months.
There was a lot of financial support available but it was bloody hard work getting it sorted. She managed to get a one bedroom flat so didn't have to worry about sharing with anyone. Most of the full time nursery fees were paid. The university nursery would have been a lot cheaper still, as well as being more convenient, but it was impossible to get into. So one thing I would say is of you plan to do similar, get your name down at your university's nursery ASAP.
During her year out she came back and did have plenty of support from me and our mum, so she luckily wasn't alone with it all.
I know she found it hard when she went back to finish her last year, but it was because she was 100 miles away from home and had no one there to help at all.
I suspect it wouldn't be easy for you or your boyfriend, but it's certainly not impossible. The one other thing I would consider is how it would work when you are doing placements. Do you have to do night shifts as well? And would your boyfriend then be in a job doing night shifts? If so, you'd need to work out about childcare during those.
If you decide to go ahead, you need to speak to the university about how they could support you.
You need to tell your boyfriend first though and make this decision together. At the moment you can only guess at his response and how he would feel about it all.
Good luck.
So glad to hear you will be talking to him tonight and it seems he won't be unsympathetic. Even if his first reaction is not exactly what you hope for, take a deep breath and give him a bit of time to get his head around your news maybe tell him briefly tonight but leave talking details until tomorrow or the next day
Good luck again 
So glad you're feeling more positive about it all. And congratulations! 
I'm so pleased he's being supportive! He sounds like he's a lovely bloke!
If you've not had a period for 3 months are you assuming they're all due to the pregnancy? That would put you at about the same stage as me. If you work out you're due in late May/early June then do pop onto the 'Broadly Gemini' thread in the antenatal support group topic. You'll find a lot of support there, including first timers, more experienced mums & our very own resident midwife! If you're due at another time then do join the relevant thread, it's so nice to have others at the same stage as you!
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