Conflicting advice - who is right?

[NobbyD]

My ds will be 2 on Monday. We've had a potty in the house for a while and introduced the whole thing slowly.

For a while, ds had the whole wee thing sorted. He would wee in the potty, ask for the potty to wee in and if in nappies would say he was weeing. But poos were a different matter. He gets almost "scared" of them when he doesn't have a nappy on. The first couple of times he did one on the floor he cried uncontrollably. I had to reassure him it was all OK but next time to use the potty. From then on he would just do them on the floor and come and tell me.

My sister (who has two children gone through the potty training stage and I should add both were not great success stories - her ds was still soiling at age 6 and her dd currently age 3 still has accidents every day) says I am rushing it and that if ds is pooing on the floor then he is not ready and I should forget the whole thing for at least another few months.

My MIL on the other hand says ds should have been out of nappies ages ago! Ds is an extremely bright boy and has been having conversations since 15months so can easily be communicated with. MIL says both her boys were out of nappies and dry both day and night by 21months. She says as my ds is even brighter than her two were she says I should be able to potty train easily in a few days.

So what to do? Do I step it up a notch with the potty training (I really only do it at night before bath and in the morning) or leave it for a few months? How do you know when is best to go full on with no nappy all day? And will I be endlessly picking up accidents?

[titchy]

Leave it for a few months. No point you and him stressign about it .

Most people of MIL generation had their children out of nappies much earlier. Remember a) they were probably in terries so being nappy-free was a distinct advantage to the parents, b) being nappy-free does NOT = being toilet/potty trained, and c) most grandparents greatly exagerate their children's abilities and timings.

[diamondsandtiaras]

Leave it for a while IMO. He is still very young to be potty training, particularly for a boy. The few boys I know how have trained did it for themselves when they were 2.8/2.9ish.

[frogetyfrog]

None of my three trained until well over 3 years old. It made it so easy as they did it when they were ready.

It is so up to you as loads of people do it very early, and loads are like me and leave it until child asks!!!

Neither is right or wrong but imo being stressed (either you or child) is wrong and not worth it.

[LadySanders]

my mum insists that babies should be potty trained at 12 months but she has some very odd 1970s inspired ideas.

ds1 was toilet trained easily & quickly at 2y6m... never bothered with potty, went straight to child seat on loo.

ds2 now 2y5m and will do poo/wee on loo in evening before bath but if i put him in pants in daytime he just forgets, so am going to wait another month til he seems ready...

so i agree with the others - don't stress, he'll get there when he's ready!

[NobbyD]

Thanks people. I think leaving it until he is ready is the way to go. It was kinda what I was doing anyway but I have the MIL in my ear everyday saying "XXXX was out of nappies and dry day and night by 21 months" blah blah blah.

Ds also hates wearing pants and will actually ask for a nappy if I try put him in pull ups. So I guess there's a clear sign that he's not ready. Although now there are Toy Story pull ups he is coming round to the idea of wearing them more!

I will chill out and not try to compete with people anymore! Thank you am liberated!