How and when to potty train my 2yo DS if I am full-time working?

[toja555]

We have bought a potty and a trainer toiler seat for our DS who turned 2 in April. He goes to CM full-time so I only see him in morning, evenings and weekends. I have made an odd try to put him on potty or toilet seat, mostly after breakfast on weekends. He would sit there for 10-15 mins playing with a car and do nothing. I also tried keeping him without nappies only loose trousers, also on weekend mornings, then he would wet himself 3-5 times within one hour, I would keep changing trousers until I run out and then would put back into nappies. Obviously we do talk that he is now a big boy, big boys do to potty/toilet, he?s got some nice pants in the drawer, but apparently he is not ready yet. The worst thing, I have no idea how to make him ready. I know I have not been consistent. If I was consistent, I need to tell my CM how I want her to get involve into potty training, but I just don?t know how. I can?t leave her to do all job, can I?

Our DC2 is due in November and ideally DS should be potty trained until then. But we also have two holidays aborad, one long in July and one short in August and I just cannot imagine how I would cope if DS will be in potty training process. All gets so complicated?

What should I do? Try in small steps or leave it for now and hit it later?

[CMOTdibbler]

Why not start by leaving him with nothing on his bottom half in the evenings and at weekends when you are round the house, with a potty close at hand, and at the first sign of wee, whip the potty under him with fullsome praise.

For some reason, they find it more confusing with pants or trousers on, so being bare is much easier.

Then offer the toilet whenever you are going yourself, and ask the CM to offer him a chance when other children are going.

Once he has the idea of having a wee in the potty when you ask, you could try upping the amount of time he spends without a nappy.

But if he isn't ready, he isn't ready, and theres no point pushing the matter.

[llareggub]

Just forget about it for now. He'll be ready when he is ready.

My DS was nearly 3 when he stopped wearing nappies but it was very easy. He pretty much decided that he was no longer going to wear nappies so bar a few accidents, it was pain-free. There wasn't any "training" involved. A week later he decided that he wasn't going to wear nappies to bed so that stopped too. He has never wet the bed.

I have a younger son and will take the same approach with him. A few of my friends "trained" their DDs at around 2.4 but IMO they weren't potty-trained, they were just plonked on the potty frequently.

I'd wait until after DC2 is born, unless DS decides he is ready first. Your CM will be prepared to potty-train, BTW.

[yomellamoHelly]

My ds was 3 3/4. When we were on holiday he spent a lot of time half naked. It was a team effort to catch him with a bucket/potty whenever the moment came and then reward him with a jaffa cake for being so clever. Had learnt the lesson by the end of the holiday and we officially ditched the nappies when we got home. Had one eventful day where he had to learn the warning signs to avoid wet/dirty pants but we were done.
You're probably already aware he might regress a bit when your new dc arrives too. Think I'd be tempted to leave it if he shows no interest.

[izzybiz]

I don't beleive in "potty training" If you wait till the child is ready themselves you save yourself all the hardwork and a lot of washing!

[Mercedes519]

I'm a working mum too and I tried at about 2 and found it really hard...so we stopped trying, kept the potty and didn't pressure him.

He took to it naturally just after he was three and was dry in a couple of weeks - even at night (after we'd run out of nappies ). I'd echo the idea to just leave him be - I know you want to sort it before DC2 arrives but you have enough stress - don't make yourself more problems!

[toja555]

Hmm.. I just feel like a bad mum by not doing anything, and also it would be good to have him not in nappies when DC2 arrives, but as everyone advices here I should drop it for now.
However? is it worth to try and keep DS familiar with potty by putting him on it occasionally or sometimes keeping with naked bum?

[stealthsquiggle]

IIWY I would talk to your CM about it. You can't do it without her co-operation, so you may as well enlist her help by asking her advice.

I rally wouldn't worry about it, though - my DS was almost 3 before he was interested and was by no means the oldest in the small group who went through the process together at nursery. DD, OTOH, caught me offguard when I hadn't even got potties out of the loft (she was about 2.3), and announced that she was going to wear big girl pants - she was fine within a matter of days, and went straight to using the toilet without ever opting for potties. Leave it until he is interested and the whole process will be a lot less fraught.

[bumbums]

I would strongly advise you to wait till he's 3 or a bit older. I started with my DS at 3 and it hasn't been plain sailing. I can see now that had I waited a few more months he would have got it so much faster. The hardest thing is getting him to stop playing long enough to go on the potty/toilet. Right now he doesn't want to make time to go but i think he soon will realise that going to toilet takes a minute whereas changing his pants etc takes alot longer.

[carrotsandpeasifyouplease]

Just to share my experience as I think its more like the answer you were looking for; He was just gone 2 and I thought I would try, I roughly followed the "potty training for boys" book whereby for an hour when we got home in the evening he would have nothing on bottom half and most of the time he wouldnt do anything but I took him to the potty every twenty minutes and obviously at first it happened purely by coincidence but when it did lots of praise, stickers handed out and phone calls to my mum and sister telling them about it.

Anyway this went on for about 4 weeks, very slowly no pressure on either of us. We also started doing a few hours at the weekend, same story until eventually we were confident enough to tell the nursery and they were great and he went from there really. After 6 weeks from the start he was dry in the day, it wasnt that he happened to go jsut cause he was put on (except from at the start), he actually says when he wants to go and if we ask him he just gets annoyed and says "will tell mummy". (and he does).

Just a few points though;

1. My ds hated having dirty nappies changed so that was a big incentive.

1. Other toddlers in the nursery were doing the same and the nursery was very supportive( especially because he goes to the pre-montessori class in september and they would prefer the children to be trained by then (not in Britain), but as a full time worker this support is a must.

1. He is a people pleaser so the whole cheering when he went was also a big incentive.

1. I have always (well since he could understand) explained what I was doing on the toilet to him

1. Hes a pretty good communicator

1. I've had a potty in the bathroom since he was 18 months just so he asked what it was. (no intention of using that early)

1. He was at the point where he would wet his nappy at intervals rather than constantly (iyswim)

1. The pants are a big aspect of it because they are replacing the nappy. We have nice tight short type ones that we call "dino-pants" after the "Dinosaurs love underpants" story.

Good luck, this was just my experience as a working mum, most people I talked to told me to wait until he was older.

[Watersign76]

What a helpful and well contructed post carrotsandpeasifyouplease. It has given me something to think about, I am in a similar situ to OP.

Thanks

[toja555]

Thanks carrotsandpeasifyouplease, really useful. Despite of all advices to wait, I am going to give it a proper (no pressure) try. If it does not work, i will leave it for later. One bottomless hour in the evening will not hurt, and offering potty every 20 mins is 3 times in that hour, isn't too bad. Not sure how I will get my DS out of trousers, cos he usually likes to have full clothes on. Will give it a try, anyway

P.S. DS stayed with loose trousers without nappy for couple of hours last weekend. Did not wet himself, which was nice.

[carrotsandpeasifyouplease]

thats great, good luck with it all.

[toja555]

I am responding to my own thread here. I can proudly said, that my DS is now potty trained and hasn't used nappies for weeks! It was quite a slow process, initially only couple of hours without nappies at home after I come back from work. Then my childminder got involved. Then we started trying to go out without nappies for short periods of time. Then we dropped nappies when sleeping, then managed longer periods out and about only with use of public toilets. DS hasn't had nappy on for weeks, and I think I can officially declare that we are now potty trained. Obviously we had few accidents, but it was easier than I expected. Just very scary to start with :)

[Liv77]

Sounds like some good tips here. I've also got a DS who was 2 in April and at the mo he's sitting on the potty and doing a wee before his bath in the evening and sometimes in the morning when he gets up. Unfortunately he's not bothered by a soiled nappy and would happily sit in one all day, if you ask him if he's done a poo he always says no. I have a couple of weeks off work coming up so will have to try some more bare botty time. It's at times like this I wish I had laminate flooring instead of carpet. DS starts pre-school next week and luckily they don't require him to be potty trained I'm hoping he'll just want to start copying the children that are.

[toja555]

Liv77, good luck! My advice don't give up, he will eventually understand that walking with poo in the nappy is not the best idea.
Out of topic, but how comes your DS starts pre-school now? I could only register my April born DS for 2011 September!

[Liv77]

Hi Toya555
I'm in the Channel Islands and there is no state run pre-school it's all private, although there are a couple of subsidised pre-schools for those on benefits etc. The majority of pre-schools here take children from the academic year they will become 3, and have them for 2 years, before they move onto Primary Reception the academic year they turn 5.