twins and 'late' potty training...

[FiveStar]

Hi looking for some reassurance/ ideas/ top tips on this one

We have identical twin girls who are 3y 2ms. Also have 5y old son so have done the whole potty training thing before when he was younger (successful on 2nd attempt, he got it within a couple of days). However, am reaching end of ideas/ tether with our DDs. I tried training when they were 2y 6ms as they were showing signs of readiness but one got stressed and the other just didn't get it so after 10 v stressful days we gave up.

Now they are 3 and we tried again in earnest in Easter hols as they had to be in pants/ pull ups at nursery. We went 'cold turkey' into pants (which they quite liked as a fashion accessory) but instead of 'going' and having accidents which I expected they just held on for HOURS i.e. from getting up in morning at 7 a.m until about 4 or 5 pm (despite sitting on potty and knowing what it is for). By then they were so desperate they were in agony and we had frantic hour or so with them dancing about trying not to go, refusing to sit on potty or loo and eventually having massive waterfall at which point I would stick potty under them to catch it and show them to give them idea of putting wee in the pot. They would be proud of wee in potty but then repeat holding on and frantic stress etc the next day.

After several days of that, on advice of ERIC charity helpline we took a step back and went into pull ups as they were associating potty with pain of holding on and getting desperate. Since then we have managed to get them to sit on child's loo seat on loo at regular-ish intervals (with lots of bribery) and sing songs/ chat while on there so they sit a while but they NEVER do anything on it. Also they seem to know when poo/ wee are on way as they ask for a nappy (which I try not to give them in day now unless they get really beside themselves or are ill). I get them to sit on loo then if I can but they don't go, they get off and go in their pull-up 5 minutes later. They know we all wee and poo in loo and my son gives them demos plus they come in with me. However they just will not 'let it out' into the loo and show no interest in doing so. This has gone on since start of April. They were both ill about 3 weeks ago and we have been away over last week so things/ routines have slipped a lot and I want to renew our efforts to get back on track with idea of going on loo, and looking for any good ideas?

I have seen the post about children still in nappies at 3 and it was good to hear I am not alone! As I am trying to do 2 at once sometimes I think they discourage each other but there is no way we could do them separately, they are too interested in what the other is doing.

Help!

[Jaybird37]

Hi.

My twins were also not trained until about 3. In fact, one refused to even try until his brother was poorly, in hospital and back in nappies. Without the pressure of competing he was fine.

It sounds like you are doing everything right. Just don't get too worried about it. Unless they need to be clean and dry for nursery or something, then it is not a race.

The general rule with twins IMHO is divide and conquer - out of print now, but Elizabeth Bryan's book Twins, Triplets and More is great.