Have been given a deadline for potty training DS1

[ShadowFall]

DS1's nursery has told me that DS1 (2 yrs 11 months) must be potty trained before he goes up to the big room (for over 3's).

This means they want us to have him potty trained within the next month. I can understand why they'd prefer the kids in the big room to all be potty trained, but I'm feeling a bit daunted!

DS1 is showing awareness of having soiled his nappies, and usually asks to have dirty nappies changed, but can't seem to manage pulling trousers on or off yet. Not sure if he knows he'll be having poos / wees before they happen.

So, not entirely sure he's ready yet, but as we're sort of being pressured into starting, is it better to start with pull-ups or is it better to go cold turkey and move straight onto pants?

[myotherusernameisbetter]

How often is he at Nursery? If they wanted him trained, shouldn't the have discussed this earlier and be supporting it in the nursery? Do they think he is ready based on what they see?

I think i'd be looking for a different nursery tbh.

[drinkyourmilk]

I always go straight to proper underwear. I pencil in 2 weeks at home and just go for it. Sounds daunting but most nearly 3 year olds are capable. Just accept you'll be running boil washes most days for a while.

[Floralnomad]

I'd look for a different nursery ,you can only potty train when the child is ready its nothing to do with age .

[OorWullie]

I'd say it's better to try with pants, they feel what they're doing and become more aware of what it feels like to "need" and can let you know/learn to hold it better.

IME pull-ups just feel like nappies to them. If you have the time it's good to try and stay home for the first couple of days and just have a bare bum with potty nearby, that way you can get to it quicker without the faff of trousers etc and there is less washing in case of accidents too. Practise pulling trousers and pants up and down when getting dressed in the morning too.

[3littlefrogs]

I don't think they are being reasonable.
However, summer is the best time for potty training.
Leave the clothes off, provide the potty (actually - if he is nearly 3 you have probably missed the potty stage and should move straight to child seat on toilet) and he may well crack it.

If you know a child who is toilet trained, invite them to play as often as possible. this works brilliantly IME.

[myotherusernameisbetter]

We used the toilet training in less than a day method and it was pretty successful. Buy pants that are a bit too big as it's easier to pull them up and down.

[ShadowFall]

He's at nursery 2 days a week.

They've mentioned potty training before, but previously these mentions have just been along the lines of "when do you think you'll start potty training" or "Little Fall sat on the potty today". This is the first time a deadline has been mentioned.

I'm not sure if this is a nursery policy or whether they're saying it because they think he's ready tbh, I was a bit unprepared for the whole conversation so didn't think to ask.

[bronya]

We did nothing at all on the lower half. Pants feel a bit like nappies and can cause confusion at first.

[imme]

My DS wasn't showing any of the classic signs of readiness but still potty trained within a week during the month after his third birthday. We went cold turkey. The first few days were tough, hardly anything went into the potty but we cracked it after about 4 or 5 days. I would just give it a try!

[myotherusernameisbetter]

They have probably trained 100s of kids and you've trained none.....yet :o

I'd ask them for their advice and what method they prefer to use while he is nursery and take it from there.

[ShadowFall]

What is the toilet training in less than a day method?

The wearing nothing at all on the bottom at first suggestion sounds pretty good, especially as DS1 can't seem to manage taking trousers off yet.

[bigkidsdidit]

My DS wasn't showing any 'signs' and still did it in two days. I took time off work, straight into pants and no lookig back! If he's 2.11 he's probably ready - all of DS's little friends were trained by then. Good luck!

[myotherusernameisbetter]

it's quite an old fashioned book, but basically you need lots of liquids, a doll that pees and a free day in the house.

www.amazon.co.uk/Toilet-Training-Less-Than-Day/dp/0671693808?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It worked for us - we even managed a slightly shortened version and we only ever had a couple of accidents after that initial day - ours were both boys and both nearly 3 and showing absolutely no interest in using the toilet/potty.

[addictedtosugar]

Our nursery had the no nappies in the 3+ room thing - they aren't set up to be able to change nappies - no changing station etc.
They are happy to deal with a fair few accidents tho.
Don't think Nursery will accept pull ups, so I'd go straight to pants (or rather nothing at home, but he will need pants and shorts / trousers at nursery)

What is it about the trouser he can't do? DS2 is pretty good at soft knitted cotton shorts, but jeans etc are much harder.

Good Luck!

[ShadowFall]

I guess we should just jump in and see how it goes!

We already bought a potty and a pack of Thomas pants to try and start getting DS1 used to the idea, although so far he's shown very little interest in either.

Re. trousers - we've tried to encourage him to manage them himself, but he's just refused to try, unless we're trying to put them on when he wants them off or vice versa. The best we've had there is DS1 lifting up his feet to help us get the legs on / off.

[Purplelooby]

Have you got or seen Pirate Pete's Potty Training Adventure? Got my son interested straight away!

[Spottybra]

Did he get to choose his own pants? We went to primary (even though its my least favourite shop I figured cheap pants could be thrown away) and he got really excited picking his own. The first couple of days were spent naked delightfully directing wee into certain parts of the garden. The next two days in pants doing normal activities in the house and the park.
It seemed really daunting. But looking back it took less than a month to stop having little accidents.
Dd was younger but she was ready earlier than ds.
Oh, I was told but didn't try it, a ping pong ball in the loo works well at giving them something to aim for(plus a little step to reach on).

I remember the first time ds kicked the stool away and was tall enough to reach the loo without it. I welled up.

[Spottybra]

Primark. Silly autocorrect.

[ShadowFall]

Have checked the Pirate Pete Potty book out online and will get a copy for DS1, thanks for the suggestion

And DH picked the pants. Although DS1 does like Thomas the Tank Engine so hopefully he'll be okay with that.

We also practiced sitting on the potty before bathtime tonight, and DS1 seemed a lot keener about the notion of sitting on the potty than he has been before, so I'm feeling a bit more confident about this now.

[mousmous]

dc1 (simlar age) was not showing signs at all (but is generally a passive type) so we bought the last pack of day nappies together and told them no more nappies when this pack is empty.
a couple of days was all it took.

[NotCitrus]

Ds was the same age, had tried before but he got upset, and nursery urged us to all have a really good effort before he went to the preschool room.
Taught him how to get thumbs under trousers to pull down, then to sit on potty for ages with bribery, and cracked it in a few days.
If it's 'wont' not 'can't' then now is a good time to push it.
If you and he try for a month and he can't, then nursery will have to cope, but most likely he can.
Smarties work wonders...

[bloodyteenagers]

Isn't there something in the equity act 2012 that stops nurseries etc from excluding a child that isn't potty trained?

[EugenesAxe]

He sounds like he would get the idea to be honest. Don't use pull ups except at night. They feel like nappies; both mine have been reliably dry at night (waking up to go) within about a month or two, so they don't appear to interfere with that side of the development.

For first day or two I would leave the trousers off and have him in pants. It's hard but just try to be really chilled if he has an accident, say 'next time in the potty'. Both mine regressed a few days around week three, when they had been reliably dry for most of the interim. I found just being calm again but showing no sign of a return to nappies persuaded them to toe the line again.

[TheGoop]

Beware - I fell for the 'you can do it in a week, I did' line and it's just not true for every child. You will be setting yourself up for a lot of frustration if you think it's that easy and then it turns out that your child just isn't ready.