DS 3.9 yrs and still no where near trained. Anyone else?

[Toastmonster]

I've tried on and off to 9 months. Different methods. Different potties. Last one on the toilet as he's now to big for a potty. Last time cold turkey for 3 weeks. No improvement. He doesn't care that he wets himself with or without clothes, jumps in the puddle, I simply can do no more. I have never got cross, just next time you go on the toilet. I feel horrendous guilt that he's 4 in September and he's still in a nappy, constant worry all day long. Thank god he's a September baby and is not starting school in 6 weeks time! I know this isn't normal but are any of your children really late with toilet training? It seems like he is getting no warning, just looks down and he's going. Any ideas wise mums? Thanks

[donkir]

It sounds like you have tried everything I would suggest a trip to the doctors to check there isn't anything wrong. I know for night time wetting it's caused by a lack of hormone which sends a signal to the brain I'm not sure if this is similar for daytime too. Is it just wet or poo as well?

[MrsChickPea]

Was in similar situation... only DS not a September baby and WAS starting school a few months later! I hadn't shouted or complained at all. I just gave up as felt he wasn't ready. THEN, suddenly only 5 months until school started and 1 month from 4th birthday... it had to be done. So we went cold turkey. No wee went in the toilet to start with - nor poo! I did get a little cross this time and I made him clear up the floor and change his clothes after every wee accident and put them in the washing machine (obviously I cleared up the poo ones!). Day two and all wee (mainly) ended up in the toilet - we were both proud! Took a week for poo to go in the toilet (think lots of that was fear and it felt different to doing a poo in a nappy). Also... within 4 days of poo going in toilet was also completely dry at night. Only 5-6 wee accidents during the night that summer and all has been well ever since! Good luck. But if he's really not ready, you do have plenty of time!

[Toastmonster]

Thanks for your quick replies. He wakes up most mornings dry and always does a poo in the morning. A few times going cold turkey, he started to go and I then rushed him to the toilet but he doesn't even like sitting on it. He is starting preschool in September and they have put no pressure on me to get him using the toilet as ive explained the situation however it's bothering me, mainly because of all the crappy comments I'm getting from friends and family such as my niece is 2.5 is reliably dry and takes herself off to loo or is very vocal in saying she needs to go. I know I shouldn't compare but it's doing my head in that DS is 16 months older and I just don't get how they can be so different. I visited the HV and she just said try the routine 20 mins method, that annoyed him even more than my hour and a half one! Parenting is such a worry

[hmmmum]

My dd is 3.2 and not potty trained, we've been trying for ages. It does just seem that some kids are easier to train than others. The hardest thing is the comments from others. If you look in this section you'll see there are plenty of other people struggling...and the parents who had an easy time of it maybe don't understand that it's not always easy! Your kid totally will get there...and hopefully mine will too!!

[AnnieB29681]

DS is 4.3 and just when we think he's cracked it he regresses. At home if he's naked we have no accidents, not a single one. Away, when distracted, he just decides not to go to the toilet. At 4 he knows this is wrong, his solution is to not tell us about his accident. Several sore bottoms later we dispair that he chooses a sore bottom over sense.

DD, 2 yrs older, was done in 2 days and before her 2nd birthday. Dry day and night. I assure you parents of happy poopers, who have outspoken friends & family, it really is not you. DS has seen doctors, watched friends go successfully, read potty books, got cool undies, been rewarded and much more. All doctors say wait. So we wait and I dream of the day the washing machine doesn't contain soiled clothes, my hands aren't cracked from endless washing and they emerge from the bathroom clean and successful. Happy days still to come!!