What do you do if nursery insists on potty training but child isn't ready?

[DogsAreEasierThanChildren]

Not an immediate problem, but I'm getting stressed about September. DS is going to go to the preschool attached to the primary we want him to go to. They have one entry, the September after the child's third birthday. DS will be just 3 (August birthday). He just doesn't seem ready yet to be potty trained, but I'm worried that we've only got 3 months to crack it!

Anyone have any experience of this? We don't have to send him to the preschool, of course, but for social reasons we really want to.

[jennimoo]

Do they insist on it? I thought even school couldn't insist on it now.
My DD started her preschool at 2.5y this Easter and despite an attempt at potty training before has only just potty trained now (suddenly decided 2 weeks ago she wanted to wear pants..) so he may well be fine anyway by the time he's 3.

[DogsAreEasierThanChildren]

Well, I'm hoping he'll be fine but it feels a bit as though we're running out of time.

We're trying to find out what their stance is - DS can't be the first NT summer-born child they've had who wasn't fully trained when starting nursery - but I'm worried that they could make his life quite unhappy if they don't want to deal with non-trained children .

[poshme]

Google continence guidance in early years. (On phone so can't link) there's lots of stuff- the disability discrimimation act says something like you cannot exclude children from a setting just because they're not toilet trained.
And if they make it an issue, they will be discrininatory and breaking the law.
There should be a policy for your LEA about continence and schools.

[insancerre]

you don't need 3 months to crack it
wait till the middle of august and you can crack it in a week

[poshme]

Or the Eric website has really clear guidance about admissions too.

[ihearsounds]

If the school is run by the lea, then just because you send your child to the nursery does not mean an automatic place at the primary school.

Also, they cannot refuse a child a place because they are in nappies still.

[Ragwort]

They cannot insist your DS is potty trained, but they might train him for you? My DS was 2 when he went to nursery, I mentioned he wasn't completely dry, within a week they had sorted it .

[DogsAreEasierThanChildren]

This isn't about getting a place at the primary (we have two good primaries nearby and would be happy with either), it's about getting DS some local friends if possible - he's an only and likely to stay that way, and all our friends with children his age live miles away.

I will look at the LEA website, thanks. But I hope insancerre is right and we can sort it in a week!

[PandaG]

the setting I work in prefers children to be trained, simply because of our set up we rent the room and cannot add a purpose built changing area but have lots of tiny toilets as we share them with the school we are based in.

having said that, there are usually a couple of children who either have not been trained, or are not reliable when they start with us. We cannot by law insist on children being potty trained, expect lots of accidents and deal with them sympathetically, and work with parents to train the children when they are ready. Often being with lots of other children who wear pants encourages a non-trained child to be like their friends.

[insancerre]

dogs
Go for it
I work in a nursery with 2 -4 year olds and have trained plenty of children over the past 20 years

be positive
don't use pull-ups, go straight into pants
don't put him back in a nappy
expect accidents, it's all part of the learning process
don't keep taking him to the toilet, let him tell you when he needs to go
don't be cross with accidents, just clean him up and gently remind him that he should be using the toilet
use a reward system, a sticker chart is ideal

[DogsAreEasierThanChildren]

Thanks, advice much appreciated. I would swear he's not ready yet - doesn't seem to have any awareness of when he needs to go, and we had a go in May but gave up after 3 days of nonstop accidents. But at this age an awful lot can change in 3 months.