so we bribed him...... how to undo it?!

(18 Posts)
omama Wed 05-Jun-13 19:58:54

Ds 2.9 has been reluctant to PT. About a month ago we tried a 5 day stint in pants & had zero success on the potty. Since then he's constantly asking to wear pants/no nappy or just taking them off but just goes all over the floor, never on the potty.

He asked again this morning & I reluctantly agreed, & maybe foolishly, told him if he did a wee on the potty he could have a jelly baby. It only worked - he's done 5 full wees on there today & only had half an accident (caught half). So I'm really pleased on the one hand as I know now he can do it if he wants to, but am wondering how I go about getting him to 'perform' without expecting a sweet each time. Rod for my own back - I know!

Any tips much appreciated!

FeelingHip Wed 05-Jun-13 20:14:41

He'll forget about it in time and for now, what's a few jelly babies if it's working?! I was giving a sticker / choc button for every wee in the potty and a few weeks in my DS never seems to expect them now...I'm sure someone else will have a stricter view though!!

Brownowlahi Wed 05-Jun-13 22:32:13

I agree with feeling hip. After a few days, your ds will just forget about getting a sweet. I have used this method for my 3dc and none of them expected sweets for long. I'd give him a sweet each time he remembers to wee on the potty and asks for one after the first few days.

Iwillorderthefood Thu 06-Jun-13 09:12:59

Yes I did this too, same result forgot about it after a bit.

When I got to the end of the packet of chocolate buttons, I didn't buy another. It was a big bag, lasted about ten days. I had no real complaints about lack of buttons by then. She didn't forget, but she accepted that there weren't any.

cupcake78 Thu 06-Jun-13 12:07:48

We did the same, it worked brilliantly. Ds did eventually forget but from time to time did ask if he could 'have a treat for my wee' lol.

Dh and me found this hilarious and just explained that he was a big boy now and didn't need a treat for going to the toilet.

Just keep going until it becomes habit . A few jelly baby's aren't going to hurt him and he won't do it forever.

PeterParkerSays Thu 06-Jun-13 12:10:49

Swap to stickers - my DS gets them for weeing in the toilet as opposed to dribbling over the floor (oh yes,yuo have that one to come), washing his hands well afterwards and brushing his teeth. They get stuck on the wardrobe so father Christmas will be able to see what a good boy DS is when he comes 3 year old boy logic is truly incredible sometimes smile

omama Fri 07-Jun-13 23:40:44

PeterParker - we did stickers already - insufficient motivation for ds!

Thanks all for the reassurance, I know its not so bad that I offered a bribe, just wasn't sure how to go about removing it when we're ready. Ds is a cunning little fellow & is already just letting out a tiny dribble in order to get his sweetie then going back 5 mins later to finish off & get another!!! I'll try the 'all gone/big boy now' strategy I think!

OpheliaBumps Fri 07-Jun-13 23:54:33

We did sweets till DS had cracked it, then said it was time for a big reward, but that the sweeties would stop.

Bought him a toy of his choice (up to a fiver) and stopped giving sweets - worked perfectly.

johnnycomelurky Sat 08-Jun-13 00:07:10

It's actually not a bribe, it's a reward and works on same principle as sticker charts. You are trying to shape a behavior by making it more rewarding. Bribing is when you give the incentive before the desired action. Rewarding is contingent on the action being done which reinforces the behaviour and makes it more likely in the furure. If he doesn't forget you can slowly reduce the frequency of the rewarding so one jelly baby for every two wees, etc.

hardbeingme Sat 08-Jun-13 00:12:09

i used smarties, potty training disinterested boys was a bloody nightmare! i needed something to get their attention, the fact that they were wet never seemed to bother them much.

omama Sat 08-Jun-13 20:02:07

Thanks all. He's doing really well, only had 1 wee accident in last 4 days, did first poo on potty today & twice today he didnt ask for his sweet & dh didnt remind him. Hopefully he'll forget about it soon enough!x

ToffeeWhirl Sat 08-Jun-13 20:07:11

I bribed my DS2 as nothing else worked. It worked beautifully. He had a smartie every time he used the potty. I can't remember now how long we did it for, but one day I just 'forgot' to buy anymore Smarties and he was fine about it, luckily.

lougle Sat 08-Jun-13 20:17:38

You just gradually increase the demand for the reward. So now, you are giving a sweet per wee. You can change that to a sweet if all wees are in the potty before 10am, 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, etc. Then shift it again, to all wees in the potty in the morning, afternoon and evening. Then shift to all wees in potty between getting up and lunch time, and lunch time and going to bed...and so on. You can even take it as far as 'all wees in the potty for a week' if he really won't give it up grin

omama Tue 11-Jun-13 20:55:46

lougle - I like that plan! thanks wink

lougle Tue 11-Jun-13 21:04:59

Glad to help smile Our girls are close in age and we have SN thrown into the mix. Bed times were a melting point and the youngest (also the most NT one) was hugely motivated by sweets.

We got jelly tots. Initially, a sweetie if they took their clothes off, one for going to the toilet, one for getting pyjamas on, one for brushing teeth (ignore the illogical sequencing with sweets wink), one for getting into bed and one in the morning if they slept well.

Very quickly, we faded that down to one for changing into pyjamas (so that's clothes off and pyjamas on), one for using the bathroom (so that's toilet and teeth), one for getting into bed and one in the morning.

Now, it's one for getting ready for bed, and one in the morning for sleeping well.

2 jelly tots a day - harmony.

KelleStar Wed 12-Jun-13 18:31:25

omama I plan on using lougle's bribery technique. I too bribed with Jelly Babies, 1 for a pee, 2 for a poo. She has been peeing in the potty for about 2 weeks now with no accidents. She poo'd in the potty for the first time today and I made such a big fuss and she happily chomped her 2 jelly babies. She does also have stickers on a chart, we have a list of what good behaviour gets a sticker, at the end of the week she can cash in her stickers for a reward or bank to get a bigger reward.

I will change down the rewards as she gets confident doing it. At the moment if it's getting her to poo on the potty I am happy!

edwardsmum11 Thu 13-Jun-13 22:28:03

I'm doing this atm with my 21mth old. Don't see this as an issue tbh.

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