Battles with toileting after 2 years of trying!!

[essiefellows]

I'm really hopeful that someone can offer me some advice. My dd is 3.6. She showed signs of toileting awareness as early as 9 months but we couldn't act on this in any way as she was in a spica until 13 months old.

Started toilet training at around 18-20 months as she seemed very aware of when she needed to go. Had usual accidents at the start and wasn't too phased at this point. It took almost a year and was almost there and then we moved house/area/ started nursery (prev in childminder care). MAJOR setback that has persisted now for 8 months. Having multiple accidents per day then other days total success. Comes home from nursery sometimes with as many as 5 sets of soiled clothes.

We have tried all sorts to tackle this. Being patient, not acknowledging behaviours to full blown angry. Tried giving incentives; that seemed to work until the minute she get the reward, then behaviour deteriorates totally. Tried leaving for her to tell us to minimise our control; she will show no signs of caring and remain soiled until she get really sore. It all seems so behavioural but nothing seems to work

We are at our wits end. HELP!