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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

Won't poo on toilet or potty-Help!

12 replies

nappynovice · 13/09/2010 21:19

My DD (2.5) has been weeing on potty (or toilet) now for a few weeks and doing brilliantly. She refuses point blank to sit on either to do a poo however and goes bonkers when i try to put her on the toilet. She's had a few accidents in her pants (which really upset her) and so i tried to explain how much nicer it would be for her to poo in the toilet so we could flush it all away etc etc thinking this might encourage her. It hasn't. I now seem to have made a big deal out of it without meaning to (as I'm sure thats the worst thing you can do) but as she went barmy when she pooed in her pants, i thought she would prefer to do it in the toilet...obviously not. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. I've tried reading to her when she's on the toilet or potty to try to distract her but to no avail. Tonight, the only thing that worked was putting a nappy on her ready for bed (as she's not dry at night yet) and then she promptly pooed in it.

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fatheadsgirl · 13/09/2010 21:24

Don't know if this will help nappynovice but my DD is a private pooer. She was the same as your DD to start with, wouldn't poo in a potty or toilet and would get quite upset if she did. I used to put her potty in the corner of the room and show her where it was and whenever she went to use it I had to leave the room and then would do the usual cheering and clapping when she had finished doing whatever it was. Now when she needs a poo she tells me to go away and I have to wait outside until she call me in, where she will be standing with her head by her knee's, shaking her bum at me saying "Mummy I'm finiiiiissshhed! She's 3 BTW.

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nappynovice · 13/09/2010 21:27

That paints a lovely picture! Maybe i should try giving her some privacy then, thanks for your advice.

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nigglewiggle · 13/09/2010 21:40

DD2 (2.4) was just the same and she would take herslef off to poo, in her pants or, on one occasion in MIL's garden Shock. It was actually my lovely MIL who persuaded me not to make any fuss about it and tell her how great it was that she did a poo and next time it would be fab if she did it on the potty. After a couple of weeks (and a bit of chocolate bribery) she got the idea.

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civil · 14/09/2010 11:38

My dd (just over 3) is fully continent (day and night) but will not use a potty.

She insists of having a nappy put on to do her business in. The only time she did use a potty was when we were at church and she wanted to do it privately - she locked the door on me!

Hopefully she will decide to use a potty/toilet at some point, but I am beginning to think that it's because she wants to try do it on her own.

(we've been in this position since May!)

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NatzCNL · 16/09/2010 20:28

My eldest DD started using the potty at 18 months (self taught, we did not train her), and eventually became dry during the day and night by 2 and a half. However, she decided that she no longer wanted to use the toilet and reverted back to the potty, but then decided that pooing in the potty was scary so reverted to pooing in a nappy. At first I refused to let her poo in the nappy as I knew she could use the potty, this resulted in her either pooing in her underwear, or on one terrifying occassion, refusing to poo at all - for 4 days! She was in agony. This is when I told her it was ok to poo in the nappy again. It took about 8 months of carrying nappies around for her to poo in before she decided she wanted to try the potty again, by which time she was getting too big, so we got a junior seat attached to the 'big seat' on the toilet. This worked wonders as she was terrified of the big seat.
We have not looked back since. She will be 4 in a couple of weeks and will quite happily use any big toilet seat (she is tiny for her age, so very brave of her).
My advice is to follow her lead. If there is a reason she has decided against potty/toilet, let her get over it in her own time. It will happen, just be patient and accept she needs time to figure it all out in her head to be comfortable with this stage of potty training.
My DD2 is potty training now and loves to use the potty while her big sister uses the toilet.
Wish you best of luck!

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TheNextMrsDepp · 16/09/2010 20:31

This is very common. DS was just the same - would ask for a nappy then hide behind the sofa to fill it. Don't force the issue as that can lead to them "holding on" resulting in constipation etc.

Just be patient, promise all sorts of goodies if the poo hits the potty not the pants, and eventually they come round.

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zapostrophe · 16/09/2010 20:50

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BeeBeeCute · 16/09/2010 23:00

my ds is 26months old, when i put him on potty/toilet training seat he would scream. he only wants to do it in a nappy. what should i do? help!

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NatzCNL · 17/09/2010 09:52

BeeBeeCute - just keep the potty in view at all times and keep his nappy off. Give him the option of the potty or the nappy. Dont make a fuss of wee's/poo's in the nappy but have a star chart above the potty and let him know that if he can put a wee or poo in the potty he will get a good boy star. It's a slow process, but one day he will just get it.
Boots do a portable potty which is such a life saver when you dont want to get them back into nappies - comes with disposable bags for hygene.
My 2.7 old DD is still in nappies when out and about as has very short attention span and realises a bit too late that she needs the potty.
They get there eventually, just need to go at their own pace. If really concerned ask your health visitor for some tips. I found the star chart has been a huge help with both my daughters. Good luck!

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bakingcakes · 18/09/2010 18:56

For what it's worth, GINA FORD, god love her, suggests regulating bowels can help with reluctant poo on potty issues, suggesting a bit of extra fruit in the morning as well as more fluids generally is good to keep motions softer and patterns regular. Overall tho, even GF remarkably, suggests going with the flow on this one Grin

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BeeBeeCute · 24/09/2010 23:06

Thanks for your advice NatzCNL. However my ds wouldn't even let me keep his nappy off. He demands to have the nappy on after every change. He alse hates to see the potty in view. I really don't know why he is like that. Hope someone will tell me this behaviour is normal for his age.Confused

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JaynieB · 24/09/2010 23:16

I wouldn't worry. I think its quite common for children to get the hang of using the potty for wee's but holding out on poo for a while.
Took my DD about another 4 months to be willing to use the potty for anything other than a wee and that was only because we had an opportune breakthrough - she usually timed her poos for bedtime, when the night time nappy was on, but on holiday this year she was out of routine and absolutely had to go and was mortified at the prospect of going in her pants and I refused to put a nappy on her so she did use the potty and hasn't looked back since.
Interestingly, like a couple of posters have said here, she likes a bit of privacy too - one of the reasons why I think before she waited until after bedtime.

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