Help needed - holding poo in

[DastardlyandSmugly]

DD is 24m old and I am not potty training her but, as a second child, she's quite interested in the potty etc. We were recently on holiday in France and DD was wandering around naked quite a lot of the time. As expected accidents happened so I started trying to get her to tell me when she needed a poo.

All well and good, she would tell me as soon as the poo started coming out, so I'd pick her up and we'd rush to the toilet. Now home she's developed a fear of letting go of her poo. She'll tell me as it starts coming out that she needs the toilet. I pick her up and take her but usually there's only a tiny bit in there as she's stopped it coming out. She won't then push it out when she's on the toilet so we spend a lot of the day with her not being able to stop a tiny bit coming out, stopping the rest but not pushing anymore out when at the toilet.

It's clear I've upset her by trying to get her to tell me she needs to go, she frequently cries when she's telling me, but I now don't know how to fix this. She's still quite young so I'm not desperate to get her out of nappies - just want her to poo normally and I'm sure we can do full training when she's properly ready.

Any ideas?

[DastardlyandSmugly]

Bump

[DastardlyandSmugly]

Bump again.

[DastardlyandSmugly]

Has no-one else had this problem?

[DastardlyandSmugly]

Seriously can anyone help?

[JaynieB]

My DD was a reluctant poo-er too. I'd just back off for a little while. Is she still in nappies?

[JaynieB]

Mine persisted with pooing in nappy for a good few months after she'd cracked using the potty for wees - she saved it until bedtime. Our breakthrough came on holiday when she was slightly out of routine and absolutely desperate for a poo - she had no choice but to use a potty and has been clean ever since.

[JaynieB]

I also offered a whopping bribe! A scooter. But DD was a bit older than yours so understood what was at stake.
Sorry - my hints aren't actually that helpful are they!

[ShowOfHands]

Go to your local library and get this book.

My dd went through a period of witholding aged 19 months after she had a bout of constipation. She was too frightened to poo. The above book really helped us to understand, along with a couple of other books like Who's In The Loo and Everybody Poos to amuse her. Once we'd sorted out the constipation and the fear, she was clean and dry within weeks.

The problem is, the more they withold, the more the bowel stretches and then they end up being able to hold on until they're very backed up, resulting in discomfort and leakage.

[roomforthree]

Poo goes home to pooland worked for DD.

[DastardlyandSmugly]

It's not just that she's holding it in when she's on the toilet, she's also refusing to poo in her nappy. I've probably not explained it very well.

She lets a little bit come out (I didn't want to put this but 'turtle's head' describes it best) as that's what tells her she needs to go, then she stops it and tells me she needs the toilet. We then go to the toilet, take her nappy off, and I try to encourage her to let it all out but she won't. So a little later the same thing happens again and again. I can tell from the amounts in her nappy that she's doing her best to stop any coming out.

I know she's too young to potty train which is why I'm not really trying to. It was just while she was naked on holiday I was trying to encourage her to tell me when she needed to go so she didn't poo on the floor but I've obviously put her off doing it at all - in her nappy or on the toilet. Am very worried about long-term damage from it.

[DastardlyandSmugly]

I will check out the books suggested.

[DastardlyandSmugly]

Oh and thanks to everyone who has replied.