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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

Struggling with the anti-potty training brigade!

28 replies

CanNeverDecide · 05/09/2010 19:51

My DD is 20m old and certainly aware of doing wees and poos, and if a potty is lying around she will take herself off to it to do a wee or poo when needed. Based on this, I put her in pants last week as I thought she was ready. She was doing really well - a couple of dribbles in her pants before telling me she needed a wee, but then would do the rest in the potty. Staying dry for about 2hrs at at time, sometimes more, sometimes less. Pooing in potty mostly, just a couple of poo accidents.

I guess it's more intensive at this age as I do find myself reminding her a lot in case she's forgotten she's wearing pants. On the whole though, it seems do-able.

My problem is there seem to be so many people who keep telling me she's too young, and now I'm starting to feel bad that I'm ruining her fun by making her have to be conscious of her weeing and pooing rather than just doing it on the go.

Should I just put her back in nappies and wait 'til she's older?

Very confused...

Today we were out all day and as I hadn't yet got a travel potty, I put her in nappies. They were wet each time I changed them so she was obviously happily weeing away without telling me. But when we got home I took the nappy off and asked her if she wanted to do a wee. She sat on the potty and did a big wee, then said poo and after a bit of getting on and off, stayed put and did a big poo. However, she then did a dribble wee on the floor about 30 mins later, said 'wee wee', I took her to the potty and she did the rest there.

So, based on all this, would you carry on or go back to nappies. I'm in no hurry, but equally don't want to miss an opportunity if she's ready.

Thanks.

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nameymcnamechange · 05/09/2010 19:55

She sounds like she's really getting the hang of it and I would persevere. Lots of children are potty trained under the age of 2. Our mothers, using terry towelling nappies, would certainly have encouraged it.

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tutu100 · 05/09/2010 19:55

If you are happy doing it this way then I would carry on as I think it sounds like she is ready.

I put off traingin ds1 as he satrted asking to use the potty 2 weeks before we were due to go on holiday and I thought the timing was bad. I tried training him as soon as we got back, but it seemed that me getting him to wear a nappy when he didn't really want to eventually overode the desire to potty train so when we got back he had regressed. It was another 3 months before he showed signs again.

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sarah293 · 05/09/2010 19:58

This reply has been deleted

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onepieceoflollipop · 05/09/2010 20:05

Agree with the other replies in that she seems ready.

all you need to do now is avoid the anti-potty training brigade. When I trained dd2 I found it stressful to hear any comments/advice generally. I coped by not mentioning that we were training (I didn't hide it, just got on with it). I never mentioned if there was an "accident" or said that I was finding it stressful.

I've never had a travel potty. When out and about I took "normal" potty in my bag and made sure for the first few weeks we were always a few moments away from a toilet. If there was the odd accident them imo provided the child is truly ready it is part of the learning experience. :) Just put a cover on the pushchair/car seat as protection. After a few weeks I stopped carrying a potty, just got her used to being held on the normal loo. (my cm did this when visiting toddler groups/friends and using the loos there and had no difficulties with dd)

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PortraitOfAnApology · 05/09/2010 20:06

You aren't pushing her, she sounds ready. I would go for it while she is keen :)

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cleanandclothed · 05/09/2010 20:10

As long as you are laid back about it then IMO it is fine at this age. DS was like your DD about 2 months ago - a month ago we ditched nappies and are managing fine. He is 23 months.

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Bert2e · 05/09/2010 20:15

I'm with you on potty training early - both mine were just 2. I can't understand those who are just too lazy to train and would rather spend hundreds more on nappies (they seem to be dispo parents) and wait until their child is just about to start school!

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onepieceoflollipop · 05/09/2010 20:18

Bert to be fair it does vary from child to child. dd1 was just 2. I assumed dd2 would be the same (same approach from us and both were in reusables). We had a disastrous false start and 27 months (I knew she wasn't ready tbh but naively thought that she could do it because her dsis had done it by that age). Anyway we tried again at 2.5 years and she cracked it within days. :)

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jetgirl · 05/09/2010 20:26

You are so lucky! I wish my DS would show these signs. He's getting there slowly but I would love him out of nappies. DD was trained just after she turned 2 but DS is nearly 3 and totally different.
Ignore the anti-potty brigade, they're just jealous Grin

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hugglymugly · 05/09/2010 20:46

I echo onepiece's comment. When my DC were young (some 30 years ago!) the standard time for potty training was 2 years old. So I started with my elder DC shortly after her second birthday. She figured it out very quickly. My younger DC, when he got to the same age, absolutely didn't get it, so I waited a few months then tried again and that's when he figured it out, also very quickly.

It does depend on the developmental stage a particular child has reached. If the average age is around 2 years old, then there will be as many children who will reach that developmental stage earlier as there are those who will reach it later.

Yes, I know there are exceptions for a whole slew of reasons, but I'm referencing children for whom those other reasons don't apply.

As regards people telling you she's too young, I wonder if those people are picking up on reassurances given to parents of 2-year-olds who are not yet getting the knack, i.e. just wait a while longer, and are assuming that the average age is now much later than 2 years.

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malloo · 05/09/2010 21:59

Sounds like you're nearly there, definitely don't go back to nappies. I know exactly what you mean about the anti potty brigade, very unhelpful. Try talking to anyone in our parent's generation and older, they are amazed at the current trend to leave it so late and will give you some much needed support! Do agree that its an individual thing as well though. I've started with my DD who is 18 months but wouldn't even have attempted it this early with DS as he never showed any signs that he knew he was doing anything and certainly didn't care until he was about 3!

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CanNeverDecide · 06/09/2010 09:18

Thanks all, am going to keep going for a bit anyway and hope that it continues going relatively well. We had a poo accident this morning, but it was in her nappy which I had to put on for nursery as they won't take her in pants. I don't blame them for weeing/pooing in nappies because I'm sure they know they're wearing them and it feels ok to them to just do it in there. What are others' experiences of nursery being more supportive? She's still in the room below the one they do potty training in, so that's why they won't take her in pants. They've said to send her in pull ups, but I don't see these as being any different to nappies, really.

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BalloonSlayer · 06/09/2010 09:24

Blimey she's doing fantastically. I'd be chuffed to bits if she was mine.

Envy

[None of mine potty trained under three emoticon]

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mum2oneloudbaby · 06/09/2010 09:29

Go with it sounds like she is happy with it all.

I'm a bit Angry for you about the nursery it could cause confusion to your DD. I know my DD just didn't get the whole pull-ups thing as far as she was concerned it was just a different type of nappy and she just didn't bother unless she was in pants.

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Fiddledee · 06/09/2010 09:29

Sorry I can't see how it is going to work if nursery won't let her go in pants, I would wait until they will or else persuade them

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mum2oneloudbaby · 06/09/2010 09:30

I certainly wouldn't wait you need to be led by your DD. Persuade the nursery.

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drinkyourmilk · 06/09/2010 09:37

If she's pretty much got it then talk to the nursery again, how old are the children in the room above? Is it feasible for her to move up?

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MiniMarmite · 06/09/2010 09:44

She sounds more than ready to me and I think the nursery should support you in this.

I've recently potty trained DS at 23 months and TBH he is much more successful at the childminders than at home - takes himself without being asked etc and I think this phenomenon is quite common so it really shouldn't be too much trouble for them.

Your DD sounds like she is more ready than my DS was so I would say to persevere.

I assume the nursery must support potty training in a general sense. Did they set out their policy when DD started there? Who are they to say whether she is too young or not (unless it were a situation where it clearly wasn't working)?

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EdgarAllInPink · 06/09/2010 09:54

just ignore negative coments.

when i was having trouble getting DD potty trained I googled it and found many people with identical problems in older children...so i carried on and got there in reasonanbly short order.

she was so happy when she got it, and no more hideous nappy rash! - i felt much better about it.

the majority of kids could be PT from 18mo - and are in other countries.

now as DS is being PT at present i know better than to ask on here/ elsewhere for advice as being told to give up is annoying!

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Giddyup · 06/09/2010 09:55

Bert2e its people like you who make others more vocal how about how many children simply are not ready to be dry until later. You actually judge peoples parenting on whether their child has reached a physical developmental milestone?

OP, You and your DD sound like you are doing great.

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CanNeverDecide · 06/09/2010 10:07

Yes, I feel it's confusing being in nappies sometimes as they go back to thinking they can let go of their wee/poo without thinking about it. Nursery are happy to take her in pull ups and take her to the potty etc. every so often. The problem is that it's only when she's in pants that she has the motivation to ask to go/tell someone she's gone, as in nappies or pull ups she is happy to just get on with it really. I will have another word with them, perhaps get some of those training pants with a bit of absorbency so it's not as full on if and when she has accidents.

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EdgarAllInPink · 06/09/2010 10:13

to be fair, you get judginess on both sides - people will allege you are being pushed into training by peer pressure (rather than, say nappy rash, or because your toddler has outgrown their reusables, or because they leapt onto the potty keen to use it!) or that you are in some way employing abusive mthods (someone on here thought it would involve holding a screaming toddler on a potty Hmm)...or indeed that unless you are instantly 100% successful you are causing unnecessary upset (a ridiculous standard applied to nothing else in parenting).

although there are plenty of reasons to train later - finding a good week to yourself to do it will be hard for people who work full time, (as who wants to spend their holiday PT!) ...and they are after all just following current advice from HCPs/ other parents.

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naturalbaby · 06/09/2010 21:25

it's child led and that's my main goal in parenting so i'm all for it. provide the opportunities and let the child take them when ready - what's wrong with that? how you parent isn't really anybody elses business if it suits you, your family and your child.
i was trying/offering the potty to ds1 for months from around 20months and he was having none of it (too busy playing!) then he got it at 26months but is still only part time a few months later - pants at home and nappies to go out. he still won't tell me when we're out if he needs a potty (too busy playing!) so when he's ready then we'll do pants full time.

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Besom · 06/09/2010 21:31

What you're describing sounds pretty much the same as my experience over the last couple of weeks with my dd. It's just that my dd is a bit older, but she is definitely ready, and so it sounds to me as if yours is too.

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MoonFaceMama · 09/09/2010 23:13

Would nursary take her in fabric training pants? Try googleing "elimination communication supplies" you should be able to get something that is quite like a pant, ie, fabric, but will hold one wee. Might be pantlike enough for dd to use the potty, but nappy enough for nursary. If you can't find anything suitable try the "born ready forum" (google again, sorry no link, on phone) for suggestions.

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