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Potty training

Help! DS (3.6) refusing to potty train

4 replies

nikki1978 · 03/08/2010 20:07

DS is a stubborn little bugger and potty training is a nightmare. I decided to leave it until now as he was showing no signs even at 3 of being ready. A couple of months ago he suddenly started weeing on the potty with no encouragement from me when he was at home and nappyless. Stupidly I decided to leave him to it and left him in nappies but let him have nappy free time at home. After a few days he seemed to go off the idea anyway so I thought I will try again on the school hols. Now we are putting him in pants and he just wets/soils them and doesn't care. We have tried offering rewards of chocolate but he isn't interested. If I ask him to sit on the potty he shouts "No". If I try to put new pants on after he has wet himself he gets a bit stroppy. It seems to be a power struggle now and he is winning!

I would just leave it but he has a place at the nursery of the school he will be going to and his first day is in 5 weeks.

I keep putting him back in nappies after a few days of maybe one wee in the potty if we are lucky as when we have to go to friends houses etc I can't have him weeign on their sofas and carpets.

What do I do?

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nikki1978 · 03/08/2010 22:32

Anyone?

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girlywhirly · 04/08/2010 12:38

Give DS clear objectives, no more nappies, use potty/loo, keep pants clean and dry. You let him choose new pants for himself, and read lots of books about potty use. Get trained children to show him how it's done. Offer a reward, something he dearly wants, to motivate him. Think of lots of reasons why it is better to be trained and wear pants than have a nappy. Point out that everyone uses the toilet.

Don't ask, tell him it is time to go on the potty. Start with a structured timetable e.g. on getting up, after breakfast, mid morning, after lunch, mid afternoon, after tea, before bath, before bed. He can go at other times as well if needed. Remove all nappies so that you are not tempted to revert to them, but you can use pull-ups for night which you call bedtime pants. Always get him to try before going out or in the car.

Teach DS how to stand to wee, sometimes this can be a good motivator. Also outdoor wees at the woods, park etc. Appeal to his sense of vanity, say how grown-up he is and smart without a bulky nappy. When there have been a few successes, you could buy him new trousers/shorts of his choosing if that would please him. He has a reason to keep them clean.

Keep at it, and don't let DS think you will give in. Meet friends outdoors or at your home until you see some progress. You have to be pro-active, I think, because DS doesn't really know what to do. It maximises his chances of getting something in the potty, which you just won't get if you leave it to him, he will just do it in his pants because that's what he's always done.

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pigletmania · 04/08/2010 23:51

My dd 3.4 was like that, when in her 2s had 3 failed attempts of potty training so left it until this summer. I made a promise to myself that we were not going back to nappies. I read her lots of childrens books on using the potty, put dd on the toilet/potty every hour, used chocci bribary (which worked for dd. After about a month she cracked it, we still have a way to go with the poos, but that will come. If dd had an accident i got her to help me clear it up and got her to take off her wet clothes and helped her put clean ones on. Persistance really and not going back as they all have to do it eventually.

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xyz99 · 15/08/2010 16:23

My ds 3.6 is having similar problems. He potty trained 9 months ago and has huge problems with wee. Poos are fine though. He is lazy and won't go to the loo to pee. He just wets his pants and doesn't care. We've tried bribery with sweets, star charts etc which all work but only for a week or so then the novelty wears off. I try to lay down the rules and say always pee before going out but I have to fight with him to get him to the loo, then he stands or sits there and does nothing, then 10 mins later pees in his pants. I am struggling to keep my cool now! I get him to change his own clothes as well but it doesn't seem to help. He's in nappies at night, I'm not ready to tackle that one yet! I am so worn out by it all I'm struggling to cope and end up in tears. Hubby thinks we should see a child psychologist but I think that's going too far?

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