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Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training

Really losing patience, what do I do???

9 replies

ApertureScience · 28/07/2010 15:56

DD is 3 in 3 weeks and we started potty training at about 2.5. She did this along side other children at nursery and has done really well although still needed a night time nappy. We have had at least one accident a week since potty training began. She has recently left nursery and is with me full time, I am 39 weeks pregnant. A few weeks ago she seemed to be slipping a bit with more accidents so we reintroduced reward chart and she was great for 2 full weeks with only one accident per week.
This week she keeps having accidents on the sofa/armchair in the living room. I think she is doing it on purpose for attenttion. I have never shouted at her or punished her for accidents and have rewarded successes. But she sees how I have to strip the sofa/armchair and wash it all down. She says 'sorry mummy' and 'I didn't mean to wee on the sofa' while I am cleaning it up, but I KNOW she is fully aware of when she needs the toilet and can go by herself if she needs to, although I usually help her.
She doesn't seem to care about not getting her rewards and the accidents are only wee and only on the sofas. Is she reacting to everybody talking about the new baby arriving soon? Is this just about attention? (she often does it if I am out of the room or have fallen asleep)Is she bored? (she has NEVER had an accident when we have company or are out and about).
I am really losing my patience with this as it is getting worse and worse. It's not easy stripping down the sofa everyday and trying to clean the sponge filler cushions (incidently how do I make sure they are clean and don't retain any smell) At this rate we are going to have to chuck the sofas and invest in a leather couch!
Sorry this is so long, I am starting to feel really desperate and don't know what to do, I am so frustrated.

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ChippingIn · 28/07/2010 16:30

You need to rule out any medial reason why this might be happening - possible infection leading to lack of bladder control etc.

If you are sure it's not medical in anyway then you need to start getting cross. Tell her that she needs to talk to you about anything that is upsetting or annoying her. Try to talk through things with her that you think might be bothering her (new baby, no nursery etc) but explain to her very clearly that this wetting is not acceptable and tell her what will happen if she does it.

Then follow through every single time it happens & remind her that she has other ways of expressing herself.

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ApertureScience · 28/07/2010 21:45

Thanks for the reply. What you say makes complete sense, I think I have just been to stuck in the middle of it to see the obvious solutions!
Thanks again for the advice, I feel ready to approach this afresh tomorrow

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ChippingIn · 28/07/2010 23:25

Let me know how you get on!!

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hellymelly · 28/07/2010 23:42

Maybe she gets distracted if you are out of the room and leaves it too late? 3 is very small still.My DD is roughly 3m older than yours and she has been out of nappies since 24m, with very few accidents,but I know plenty of other children who take a lot longer.One accident a week is not too bad but I can see that the sofa thing is a pain.Perhaps leaving a potty nearby if you are out of the room would help,as then she can get to it quickly.Even my 5 year old tends to leave it very late before going to the loo as she doesn't want to stop what she's doing.If my dd says "I need a wee" but then carries on playing,I say "go on then,please don't wee on the floor!" and she laughs and trots off to the loo.I think that they do need reminding,in general,at this age.

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girlywhirly · 29/07/2010 09:22

Pampers bed mats on sofa and chair seats with a throw or fleece blanket on top. Easy to chuck the wet mats and put fleece in the wash. Fleece is also quick to dry. You could give the foam cushion inserts a wipe over with a solution of biological detergent, or sprinkle bicarbonate of soda on the dry foam, leave for a while and vacuum off. These should help to get rid of smells.

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Roo83 · 29/07/2010 19:43

Agree with pp about sitting her on a pampers mat, these can just be thrown away afterwards. Is she watching tv when she's sat on the sofa? If my sons tired and sits on the sofa watching one of his faveourite programmes, he sometimes goes into a kind of trance...just glazed over as so engrossed in the tv, and doesnt even notice he's wet!!

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pigletmania · 29/07/2010 20:25

Agree with others, not necessarily medical, she is only still young and they do get distracted, or sleepy if watching their fav programme. Sometimes whatever they are doing is much more interesting than going to the toilet. Try a pampers matt we have them, they are very good.

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pigletmania · 29/07/2010 20:25

Agree with others, not necessarily medical, she is only still young and they do get distracted, or sleepy if watching their fav programme. Sometimes whatever they are doing is much more interesting than going to the toilet. Try a pampers matt we have them, they are very good.

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undercovamutha · 29/07/2010 20:30

My DD had a big potty training regression when I went on maternity leave (she was 2.5 and had been dry-ish for a few months). Nothing like mopping up piles of wee when you are 40wks pg, is there??!!!! It was still happening a bit immediately after DS was born and HV reckoned it was definitely cos she was worried about all the changes.

So try to remain calm if you can, but be firm. Cover the seats if you can to make cleaning easier. Stick with the reward chart etc etc.

I think you will just have to ride it out, and do all you can to make her feel included and secure. It will pass I'm sure.

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