Just done the first day of potty training, please can you tell me if we should soldier on or if DS is not ready?

[BumptiousandBustly]

Reasons why I think he's ready:

He has peed in the toilet three or four times today

He asks to sit on the toilet (sometimes), is really interested in the process, really enjoys wearing pants, and has been asking to use the toilet/potty for a while, he also tries to clean his own bottom.

he has VERY good communication

he is very resistant to the idea of going back into nappies

Reasons I don't think he's ready

He is only 2.4

He has peed on the floor 3 times today (including a really big pee minutes after doing a small one on the loo)

He doesn't tell us when he needs to pee, I feel that the fact that he has peed in the loo so many times today is just that he happened to be sitting there when it came out. In fact I am not at all sure he has understood the concept of telling us before he pees.

I really don't mind if he is not ready, I have only tried it because he kept asking to sit on the loo and trying to wipe his own bum.

Please can you tell me, do you think I should stop and wait a while, or is this a normal part of the process and I should carry on? If so, how long is it likely to take before he understands he has to tell us before he does it?

Many thanks for any advice/suggestions

[jeminthecellar]

If you are undecided perhaps you should wait a while until you feel he is fully ready

[BumptiousandBustly]

Jamintheceller, I kind of agree, and would be happy to do that, the thing is I think he will really kick off about going back into nappies.

I guess I just want people to tell me if what he is doing is a part of the normal process or not. If its not, then I will put up with the tantrums and pop him back in nappies.

[MunchMummy]

Watching with interest as we're on day 2 with someone who hates nappies but hasn't got the hang of asking for the potty yet...

DD1 trained in 1 day. I've been told this isn't usual and that Ishould expect 3-4 days at least of wet floors (nice)

[Chunkamatic]

You can't expect for there to be no accidents, putting him back in nappies against his will might make him feel like it is punishment for having accidents on the floor.

He might not yet associate the feeling of needing a wee with doing one, but if you persevere i'm sure he will get it, it sounds like he is a keen student!

(BTW you can totally ignore my advice if you want as I am yet to start potty training my DS1 who is 2.5!)

[BumptiousandBustly]

Very interesting to read this, I went downstairs, having started this thread, to a DS who had just peed all over the floor, absolutely no attempt to go to the loo or anything. So we have decided, to put him back in pull up nappies, Take him to the loo if he asks to go, and wait at least another month, before we try and take nappies off him again!

NB, we put the nappy back on and then gave him an episode of his favorite tv program, so he wouldn't feel he was being punished.

[BumptiousandBustly]

p.s. Munchmummy, I am told that if they are ready, its really easy but if they are not, it takes ages, so that partly why I suspect DS is not ready yet.

[backtotalkaboutthis]

Soldier on, it's only the first day. It really shouldn't take more than a week or so, if he's doing it in the loo already! and he's old enough to not have that many accidents which is brilliant.

Would give it a week before giving up, especially if he's that good on the first day.

[scotgirl]

My eldest potty trained at 2yrs 8week. My 2 year 16wk DS had his first day in pants today. Personally I would keep going. I remember one day when my eldest did every thing in his pants (I was practically weeping) and the next he was much better.

Never leave the house without 2 pairs of trousers & pants and don't forget the socks - the wee goes down their legs and soaks the socks! I never did the sit on potty every 20 mins thing and I didn't stay in all the time - I let my DS take the lead (obviously took him to the loo if he hadn't weed in ages). It really wasn't that bad. They will have accidents and you just need to accept that and have 2 changes of clothes so you are never stuck!

good luck!

[BumptiousandBustly]

OK, ladies, very interesting, will come back to this thread this evening and then make a decision about tomorrow.

[MunchMummy]

OK, I'm back without DD2 on my lap this time.
DD2 is coming upto 2.2 yrs. Has completely kicked off when having a nappy put on for the last 2 weeks but I wanted to wait till summer hols when DD1 (just 4) was off from preschool so I didn't have school runs.

Yesterday she would hold on for about 3-4 hours then do a big wee on the floor. Twas expected. Today she hasn't asked yet, but a couple of times has 'held' herself about 10 secs before going, giving us time to ask her and plop her on the potty. Not bad for day 2.

We're not doing the potty every 20 minutes thing as if she's not needing a wee it won't make her go.

So we've made progress today so we're sticking at it. We expected it to take longer than DD1 and because we can't always watch DD2 we expect to 'miss' more signs and have more puddles.

They are only small and its a big ask of them. I'm going to carry on for a week and see if theres any further improvement. Really want to get it cracked before toddler groups and school run start again in Sept.

Good luck - I'm sure we're not the only ones trying to crack it over the summer hols.

[MooMinCow]

Hi - we're on day one of our DD's Potty Bootcamp.... sorry to hijack...

I've only got her to sit on it 3 times today and now she flatly refuses to sit on it - have tried distracting her, bribing her, telly/DVD on but nothing. She has weed all over the floor 4 times and doesn't seem that bothered about having wet pants....

Should I persevere? Or is she simply not ready (despite all signs pointing to the contrary)

[fizzpops]

I am having the same thoughts about DD (day two). I am going to persevere as she is so proud of wearing pants and she is so pleased when we tell her how proud we are of her.

She knows the theory she just has to get the practical and I want to give her a proper chance.

Will watch the thread with interest.

[MunchMummy]

Its tough isn't it. You don't want to stress them out by it, but you want them to get the hang of it pretty quickly (our carpets are starting to smell a bit today in this heat).

My DH thinks she should have got the hang of it today because DD1 was SO quick at picking it up, but I say she's only little and it will take at least a few days of puddles to get there. He's back off to work on Monday so it'll be me dealing with the puddles anyway. Not that I really mind, she's not doing them maliciously at the moment, that day will come

[MooMinCow]

Well we kept DD (2.9mths) downstairs all day (all laminated flooring) and she crept upstairs before bed, got comfy in her big brother's bed and wazzed all over it - went upstairs to find her happily wallowing in a huge wet patch I really don't think it bothers her lol!

DS got it v.quickly (trained him at 3yrs) 2/3 days from what I remember....

[RhinestoneCowgirl]

DS was about the same age when he didn't want to wear nappies. I hadn't planned to do potty training then as I was heavily pg.

The first morning that we left him without nappy he went on the floor, then we told him that he would have to go on the potty if he didn't want nappies. He was pretty good after that, but we weren't out and about v much for the first week. I used to leave him with nothing on his bottom half and potties strategically placed so that he could go when he felt like it. Prompting him to go didn't seem to work.

I think he was really ready tho, and had a level of language where he could tell me 'wee is coming'.

[Cazwa]

Ive just potty trained my 2.9yo DS a few weeks ago. He was showing signs a couple of months ago but I wanted to wait till our holiday was out of the way as we had a lot of long car journeys to do.

Day 1 was hopeless, no wees on potty at all, showed no signs of knowing when he needed it. Constantly asked him if he did, no luck. Day 2 I reluctantly continued then was rewarded with his first wee on the potty mid-morning. A poo followed by the end of the day. Its been pretty much plain sailing ever since. It took him 4 days to get the hang of it I would say, with the odd accident on the way. So stick at it, dont give up on day 1. Try at least a week I was told, unless they are really upset about it and dont want to continue, then try again in a few weeks.

[doggiesayswoof]

Don't give up on day 1 OP, this is normal

It really varies from child to child, DD took weeks before she would tell us she needed to go, we just had to make sure we took her at regular intervals (asking her was no use, she just said she didn't need to go and then 2 minutes later would pee on the floor)

a few wees in toilet on day one is pretty fantastic imo - you're probably doing this already but make sure you go crazy with praise when he does it in the right place

(DS currently 2.2 and I'm wondering when to go for it)

[taffetacatski]

DS was 2.4 when we tried. Day 1 was very similar to yours op, Day 2 a lot better and he'd got it by Day 3. Wees, that is. Poos were a mare. They took another month and he found it very stressful poor fella.

DD was a very different story. Tried 5 times between 2.5 and 3. Just didn't get it. Got it the first day just after she turned 3 and not a single accident ever.

I'd say next time give it a few days, esp if he's really keen like you say.

[pigletmania]

Its just been one day, I personally think that you have not given it a chance imo, expect accidents at first that's why its called potty training. This is from a person who tried 3 separate times to toilet train dd now 3.4 when she was in her 2s, i gave about 3 weeks each time and only put her back in pull ups when I saw no progress and no understanding. Come April 2010 when dd was 3.1 and the summer here, I thought enough is enough we will be going nappy free with no going back (she did display some signs of readiness). The first month was tough, but I persevered as I could see slight improvements. Now dd is 95% of the way there, poos are still in the pants but she will get there, she is dry now during the day and knows when she needs to go.

Not every child will have this lightbulb moment where they will automatically know what to do and will have no accidents, it took dd about a month of potty training to get the lightbulb moment, suddenly it sank in what she had to do.Give it a few weeks, if no improvement then put him back in nappies.

[BumptiousandBustly]

This has been really helpful and encouraging. I especially take the point about it being training and taking time!

However he does have nursery twice a week. Does anyone know how they cope with this or do we have to keep him at home?

[purepurple]

I work in a nursery with 2 and 3 year olds, so am used to potty training and clearing up accidents.
In our nursery we work with the parents wishes, so if you brought your DS in in underpants we would support you and deal with any accidents. I do believe that children need to have accidents before they get the hang of going to the toilet. Your DS does sound as if he is ready, lots of positive signs there.
I would just say, that IME, putting children in pull-ups does tend to confuse them and delay the process. I always recommend going straight to underpants. He will have accidents, it's all about the learning process.

[elliepac]

Reading with interest, as I am about to try and potty train DD (2yrs 6 months). I would really like to get it done over the holidays as I am a teacher and during term time she goes to the CM and as fantastic as my CM is we are bound to do things a little differently! However, am not entirely sure she is ready. She knows what the potty/toilet is for, she knows when she has done one but doesn't know when she needs one. Having read posts on the training aspect I think I will give it a go! Having said all that, I have potty trained DS and it was the hardest thing imaginable but I think I tried way before he was ready and I think that is why I am a little reticent this time!

[BumptiousandBustly]

OK, ladies, well thanks to all your encouragement we started again this morning and he did a poo on the toilet!! HURRAY.

Of course, two minutes later he peed on the floor!

Very encouraging about nursery as well,as I can't see the point of putting him in nappies for nursery and not at home, and I take the point about pull up nappies, he is actually very clear that those are nappies, so I suppose it does tell him he is failing.

[pigletmania]

Good on you Bump, yes children do need to have accidents to learn. I told myself this summer, that each accident she has she is learning from it. I could see progress, not like in my other 3 attempts when dd was in her 2s, thats why i carried on. I put dd in training pants for nursery and they were very good. I packed a few spare changes, and as her nursery is only a couple of mins away, it was easy to bring more spare clothes if need be. I shoulden't have worried as she only had a few accidents there.

I also got dd involved in the cleaning process, got her to take her wet clothes off and put new ones on with help. I also got her some very mild soapy water and got her to clean up the wee and i went over it myself again, just so she understood consequences and action.

[BumptiousandBustly]

PIgletmania, yes he does seem to be learning which is very encouraging. He has only had one big "accident" today so far, but it was literally 2 mins after getting off the loo.

Like you, I encouraged him to clean it up, so he would understand what had happened. I do feel like he is, as you say, learning from all of it, so we are forging ahead.

The major miracle is that we actually went to town and back without an accident!

However, he is still not telling us when he needs to go, its very much us encouraging him to sit on it, and hoping he happens to need a pee/poo at that time. On the other hand, thanks to the good advice on here, I have relaxed a lot and am only pushing him to sit on the loo every couple of hours, so its not too stressful.