FEB 2010 Proper threenagers now!!

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Come on in, Chicas!

Dive into the bubbly and home-baking and take advantage of our deluxe creche....

[ClimbingPenguin]

Thanks IC

DD was proper wiped out today and had bit of a meltdown come bedtime. Just in time for DH's weekend away

JF huge congrats on the job

[ScienceRocks]

Thanks IC!

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

Thanks IC
SR taking the latter please!

[JewelFairies]

Thanks IC

[StoneBaby]

Thanks IC

[Bearcrumble]

Thank you IC

Good luck with 2ww SB.

I too have been rough on occasion with DS when he has hurt DD or when he is being particularly screamy/confrontational. I hate myself afterwards. The worst is often if I have the baby in the carrier because I can't pick him up and I can't leave him. I was literally pulling him along by his arm because he was refusing to go where I wanted. In the end I realised it was pointless and we went home but I was fuming. He is only three and she is very clingy and it must be crappy for him not to be able to do a lot of the things we used to do - crafts, baking and painting are out really while she is so young and so active/grabby. I don't have room for a playpen and she'd scream the house down in one anyway.

Baby slept quite well last night but I had insomnia!

[JewelFairies]

Nooooo, I've just discovered a grey eyebrow hair!

[ClimbingPenguin]

it will get better bc I am astounded at the progress DS has made, it's fair to say he was very clingy. Still has moments but he is started to give as good as he gets. He understands turns etc. Half the battle is working out how word stuff, changing mindset and getting ready 15 mins before you think you should.

Those magic painting things are handy, plus they are old enough to do a fair bit of crafts without too much intervention. Baking when I do it, I used to pre-measure everything out first while they were sleeping. Now she doesn't sleep then we can measure it then and bake it later. Easel painting hasn't really happened for ages but table top painting isn't too bad. DS is starting to do playdough without eating too much and they have separate puzzles, so there are ones he could destroy.

[SconesForTea]

Thanks for the thread IC. Love the title!

Feel really blue. There are very few PT jobs and the few I have applied for I have not heard back. I am contemplating evening pub work (at least I wouldn't have childcare costs) but worried it would be too knackering and also the last time I applied for a pub job I didn't get that one either I feel so trapped, trapped, trapped and now and wondering if everyone is right and we should try to move back to London ('back' for me, DH has lived here all his life and is resolutely opposed to London. So am I really, but there is NO WORK HERE).

What can I do, from home, in the evenings, or I'd have childcare costs?!! Or I suppose I could try the local restaurants. They may need summer staff. I can't help but think how has it come to this. And they may not want me either, I have never waited (I have worked in pubs but the pubs didn't want me).

I have given up on baking and even really jigsaws unless DD2 is asleep. I just find it far too stressful with their competing needs. I can only really cope if I take them both out of the house for the afternoon. Contemplating where to go this pm as I don't seem to have any friends who want to see me (self-pitying? Moi?) and it is really too, too hot to walk far. For them more than me.

I thought last week I was in a much more positive mood and was quite self-congratulatory on keeping positive. Turns out it was just we had a couple of undisturbed nights and that makes such a difference. I think the heat is affecting their sleep so much, their room is regularly 27 or 28, it is just too hot. That's with blackout curtains closed all day and fan on. The window only opens a crack because of the safety catch. What do you all do?

[Bearcrumble]

Just suffer through it - have to have windows shut as our part of London is so noisy (and all the flies). So true about the amount of sleep making so much difference - I am a different person after a good night. So much more focussed and patient.

Got to go and collect DS from nursery but thinking of you, Scones. Anything you can do self employed? Will try to post more later. x

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

I don't think it is hot! The night time temperature is below 20 (or even 25).
I wonder if those who are hot at night sleep with the same pyjama and duvet as when it is cooler. At 28 it is perfect for underwear and a tank top and may be a sheet (no duvet). The rule is windows open when (if) the outside temperature is lower than the inside one, otherwise windows closed, and create a draft when it is cooler outside. If you open your window at night and close your bedroom door it is almost useless you need a big space for air movement. Draw the curtains of the rooms which have direct sunlight until they are in the shade (even better if you have shutters). Anyway the heat wave is finished isn't it! that was summer...
Sorry just saw you can't open the window, can you get rid of the safety catch? if not open all the windows a little bit and wedge the doors so they can't close and open the front/back doors for a bit too.

Scones I am in the same situation. I am not sure what is your background is but any chances that you fit in with marketing (online), moderating or online secretary/accounting?
I have look at moderator but my internet connexion is too crap, so I might try again when we move in a more "modern" area.

I agree a good night sleep makes a huge difference! My problem is DH snoring and MIL shuffling to the toilet should I buy her a chamber pot?
And the girls dreaming and calling me in their sleep. DH even took the perversion to another level and his snoring is sounding like DD2's moaning , which makes me wake up to check on her only to realise that she is fine and fast asleep, when I go back to bed I must admit that I have thought of murder!

[ClimbingPenguin]

bc same here I feel like crying some nights, I have a few nights of getting to sleep before 12 and then for no reason I regress again.

[SconesForTea]

Mous thanks for the ventilation advice. We could take off the safety catch but I just don't trust DD1 not to try to jump out of the window. She has no fear, and no sense. At what age are they trusted with windows, I wonder??? Mum says she doesn't ever remember putting on catches with us as children.

Hopefully it will get a little cooler now the thunderstorms are (meant to be) arriving. It has just rained all over my washing but no thunder yet and still soooooo humid. It didn't drop below 26 in the girls' room last night.

Mous I have no idea what online marketing or moderating would involve; but probably my internet connection isn't good enough either It can be pretty rubbish.

Yesterday I was horrible to DD1 all day and felt so awful. Today I was horrible to her again this morning before nursery. I can't seem to stop myself. She is so tired and whingey because not sleeping at night, I assume because of the heat. Then whinges all day. It drives me spare. She keeps DD2 awake too as they are in the same room. So annoying.

Two friends have had terrible news. One, a close friend committed suicide leaving DW and 1yo DD. Out of the blue. Horrible. The other, found out at her 22w scan that baby has serious heart defect and would require surgery, I didn't speak to her personally so don't know how viable the pregnancy is but they are not continuing with it. Terrible. I tell myself, all day, how lucky I am to have two healthy DDs and a DH who loves me. I still can't shift this black mood.

[ScienceRocks]

Scones, what awful news (on both counts). It does throw things into perspective, but a black mood is a black mood. When I am in the doldrums, I try and change things up a bit. Going out for the day is great, but even just having dinner on a picnic rug in the spare room instead of at the table is enough to make the DDs stop whingeing and start giggling, and then I start feeling better too.

BC, we have had houses where keeping windows open at night isn't possible and it is unbearable in the heat. We do the things Mous suggests, and it definitely keeps the house (and us) cool.

DD2's last day at nursery today. Feels like only a week ago that I was handing over DD1 on her first day, but it was in fact nearly six years ago . They are having a little party for DD2, which is lovely. Everyone is telling me I will sob when we leave for the last time, but I don't think I will. While I am grateful for all they have done for us, it is time to move onto the next stage and DD2 is so excited about going to her pre-school that I can't help but be infected by her enthusiasm.

[ScienceRocks]

Scones, meant to say that the job thing is really hard. Have you thought about stuff you can do with the girls in tow? Mystery shopping, for example.

[ClimbingPenguin]

My coworker and his partner lost their twins at 23 weeks recently :(

[JewelFairies]

CP

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

Oh CP how awful for them

Scones sorry to hear you're still feeling so down. I know you don't think you are depressed, but I think maybe you are. I'm not an expert and I think feeling tired and trapped by your situation are explanations of your mood, but also triggers for proper depression too. So perhaps it can be treated...?? My heart aches for you when I read your posts and I hear how fed up you feel. Children ARE bloody hard work, but if you're finding it hard to find any joy in your situation (as well as the inevitable worries and frustrations) I think something is probably wrong. Is there anything we can do to help? It looks from the other group that there are a number on the thread who feel or have felt very similar.
Big hug to you xx

Things here are fine - DH has finished for the summer - yay!! And tomorrow we're off to WOMAD, can't wait!! MIL offered to take DD on Saturday so we could spend the day onsite with only DS, who would be no trouble at all, bless him.

We had a play date today with the friend DD was so vile to when she came here - and talk about boot on the other foot! The friend (in her own house) behaved in a very similar unfriendly fashion to DD (who was pretty philosophical about it). Her mum laughed when I said actually the schadenfreude made me feel a lot better about DD's behaviour. We agreed to meet on neutral territory next time.

[StoneBaby]

scones for you. It sounds a lot like flyingcloud on fb.

IC have a good time at WOMAD.

So I'm now 3 days late BUT still BFN every time I test and I tested a lot!

Waves to all

[ClimbingPenguin]

In good news I got 8 hours sleep last night.

[StoneBaby]

CP great news

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

CP
SB FX

[JewelFairies]

Scones, bit late in the day to reply but just to say it took me three years, many many applications, many interviews, and a 10k+ salary cut, to get a job after a career break. It will happen for you but you need to address your state of mind first and seek and accept help.

[ClimbingPenguin]

I'm at the ILs and my days outdoor climbing got cancelled

[StoneBaby]

CP oh no!! Good luck and if you have difficulties find their drink cabinet