Would you like to be on Mumsnet's research panel? We're especially keen for new parents (and parents-to-be) to join. You can sign up here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive on offer for your views.

November 2012 - the birthplosion (thanks Peaky)

(1000 Posts)
StuntNun Tue 13-Nov-12 09:56:55
BarmeeMarmee Thu 22-Nov-12 10:12:51

Pass de-lurking to say PLEASE don't beat yourself up (easy to say I know). I'm attempting to do the same as you have been and it is bloody hard. You have tried and its not working for you and that's all that matters. You know what is right for you and your family and that is that. Have a cry, let it all out and then realise you have nothing to feel bad for. Un-mumsnetty hugs coming your way.

Hi everyone! Can I join you please? DD is now 13 days old and with her and DS (2.5) it's been interesting! Dreading DH going back to work next week sad

I started my Christmas shopping this morning. Have bought stockings for the girls, wrapping paper and tree decorations. Ordering the tree tomorrow and want to buy all my presents by end of next week. Doing everything online. I don't do shops at this time of year anyway, but with a baby and toddler would drive me ound the bend. Plus, I am lazy, and much prefer online shopping.

Jims Thu 22-Nov-12 11:31:42

pass i can only sympathise from afar. It's really horrible to be in the cycle. I may still be joining you although having bf ds1 through diff probs, i would feel awful about it too. My mum's a massive bf proponent and i feel i'd be letting her down too. Plus all my in-laws seem to fund it all so easy. It's hard not to compare. On the plus side i know someone who was in the cycle and suddenly found herself with lots more time when she gave up trying! I know everyone says formula's fine but it's not easy to

Jims Thu 22-Nov-12 11:33:22

Sorry unfinished post - tell yourself that but remember your baby will be absolutely fine. Feel free to tell me the same in a week or so!!

Passmethecrisps Thu 22-Nov-12 11:57:15

Thank you, ladies. P and I are just working our way through the last bottle of EBM. I actually do feel better having been honest to myself about it. Maybe in another week or two I could have cracked it but I suspect I would make myself very unhappy

I now need to get to grips with a formula routine.

Pass you have no reason to feel bad at all. If bf is too stressful or painful or just not working out, formula is a great alternative. I intended to mix feed from the off with this one. With dd1 hiwever i really wanted to just bf. I beat myself up over switching to ff, but once I did it was such a relief for everyone. Bf was making us all miserable.

barmee same here, dd is 13 do today and finding it tough with ds (2.4) I'm having a nap nearly everyday and still tired.
Dh goes back to work on mon and I keep telling him not to!

Chunkychicken Thu 22-Nov-12 12:45:54

pass I don't really know all the details of your situation & didn't have many issues with either DD or DS but I know I wouldn't manage to maintain expressing. It's hard work & the worst of both worlds imo - the best part about bf is the simplicity/lack of equipment required. Formula isn't poison, so why not make it easy on yourself. I did feel sad when I stopped with DD, at 9mths and when I didn't have much of a choice (needed to go into hospital for heavy duty antibiotics), so its understandable you'd find it hard & upsetting.

I think its concerning & sad that, despite the massive promotion of bf across the NHS etc BEFORE pg, there is so little expert support afterwards, so little understanding of how it works, such emphasis on providing massive weight gains in the early days, which all drive the move to formula for the vast majority of mums. IME those people that have had a CS or dramatic birth have the hardest time establishing bfing and yet there are so few experts to help. It's a shame.

Passmethecrisps Thu 22-Nov-12 13:35:07

chunkythanks for your support. My problem is that Penelope finds sucking for any length of time extremely hard. I have good supply, apparently my position and latch are perfect but little P just can't sustain a full feed.

I did receive huge support from the midwives but I can honestly say I had no idea just how hard it would be. That is where I feel the gap in provision is. DH said he fully believed that all babies just did - he wasn't prepared for problems. I thought I was but no amount of prep and telling myself pre-baby what I will do prepared me for the emotion of it all.

Anyway, DH and I had another chat. Poor soul can't talk to me about if without my tears. I will try putting her to the breast during the day when we are both happy and comfortable. We will supplement with formula whenever I or she feels the need. Who knows what I will be saying tomorrow but I reAlly am determined not to waste any more energy crying over breast milk!

I've bitten the bullet and brought an electric pump, everyone will just have to get less for Xmas this year so I can absorb the cost. J has been really sleepy today, only had 2 little feeds. And went from 11pm last night until 6am this morning without waking, I was in town today and I just couldn't get him to latch well at all so he ended up screaming his head off and I was drenched from the milk leaking, it was a flipping nightmare, I had to sustain him with a dummy until I could get to the car and get my whole boob out and feed him properly. Last ditch attempt with this pump, if I get no joy from it then it will be formula for us. I cannot keep on with this current pattern of constant worry and guilt.

Wish me luck!

horseylady Thu 22-Nov-12 15:08:28

Were having a clingy today. No where will do but on mummy. Or the car sear. Even in the car seat he starts screaming.

Had a nightmare dog walk. I usually use the sling, but with everywhere so flooded and we'd run out of milk I decided to go to the shops with the pram, and the dogs. NEVER AGAIN. Not until the bloody younger dog regains the training we'd done. She just pulled, ignored me, and wouldnt listen!! How no one ended up in the middle of the road is beyond me. Oh and ds cried a lot. I did some shopping then went home. I was going to walk round the houses but decided against it. It was just horrid. Horrid badly behaved dog!!! Big dog was fab!! It's now chucking it down, high winds and I need to go and do the horses!!

Pass - you know my thoughts. Big hugs!

StuntNun Thu 22-Nov-12 15:35:18

Pass it sounds like you are doing the right thing. Use the formula as back up for your milk and if you decide you want to go back to exclusively breastfeeding later on then you can reduce the amount of formula over time if you want. From my experience though, be careful how much formula you give if you plan to mixed feed. With DS1 I found that one bottle of formula a day was fine but I started giving two bottles a day at one point because I was on holiday and noticed a drop in my milk supply. Obviously everyone is different so that might not apply to you but it may be something to bear in mind?

I wonder why so many of us are having difficulties with bfing? J has just had both boobs twice so I have taken to my Ben with MN and a box of chocolates to make more milk!

VQ have you tried just feeding from one side per feed to help with the colic?

StuntNun Thu 22-Nov-12 15:36:57

*taken to my BED! Who the hell is Ben?

YellowWellies Thu 22-Nov-12 15:38:28

We're having a clingy day today too. Even in the house J is mostly in the sling just so I can get stuff done.

I think there could be another growth spurt in the offing as after a triffic night (feeding at 11 with DH and at 3.30 and 7.30am with me) he fed on and off for four hours from mid morning to early afternoon. It's a good thing he's so cute.

On the plus side he seems to have sorted out my oversupply and we seem to be in a good BF pattern now - we both seem to wake simultaneously in the night thanks to his hungry snorts and grunts, and we can be up and feeding on the sofa with Grey's Anatomy on the TV before he's crying.

Now the cat I could have happily throttled last night as he was running through the house like tumbleweed - I guess he knew there was a storm coming.

MissMummy1 Thu 22-Nov-12 15:53:18

Hello lovely ladies and babies!

Been silently stalking for a few weeks but your thread is impossible to keep up with atm. Glad you all seem to be doing well and hope those with difficulties get them sorted soon. I'm so jealous of all your newborn cuddles and can't wait to join you all!

Quick question: my back has been really painful since the weekend. Lower back, mainly one side. The pain's really ramped up today to the point where I can't even walk without wanting to cry. (I practically had to crawl up the stairs earlier blush ) No other pains or contractions, just constant stabby back pains. Did anyone's labour start like this? My mum and dp are convinced this is the start of things... (trying not to get my hopes up!)

Also waters: I'm convinced mine are leaking (nice) as had a clear watery discharge for the past couple of days. Enough to wet a liner to the point where I'm changing it every couple of hours but not actually soaking it through if that makes sense? I basically just feel really wet probably just pee or sweat blush (sorry tmi!) Being left to my own devices today has clearly made me paranoid! Any advice or similar experiences greatly appreciated though.

ValiumQueen Thu 22-Nov-12 15:57:14

stunt I am sticking to one side per feed. Had a better night last night as I took him into bed with me as I was so tired it was the safer option. He slept from 9.30 to 12.30, fed for an hour, then slept from 1.30 to 6. He stirred a couple of times and had a swig of boobie, but was off again in minutes. Surely if it were wind, he would have it day and night, in my bed or his? DH does not want him in our bed. DH might find himself in the cot.

Love to all who are having challenges x especially over feeding.

ValiumQueen Thu 22-Nov-12 15:58:24

He is smiling today. Most definitely. Warms your heart! 4weeks today.

NervousAt20 Thu 22-Nov-12 16:05:59

pass I'm glad you've talked with your DH and made a choice that hopefully works for you tits good luck with the pump. It's shocking how much pressure we put ourselfs under when it comes to BF and how it makes us feel when we have problems or go to FF but as long as we all have happy and healthy babies that's what's important

missmummy not sure about the back ache but does sound like you have leaky waters, maybe phone labour ward and see what they say?

Had LO weighed today and she's gained 8oz again, also fits into a couple more newborn clothes so have all her tiny stuf washed and going to put it in a vacuum pack in the loft tomorrow I think. Went to another baby group today and some of the people there are lovely so in really pleased I went

Started my Christmas shopping grin

NervousAt20 Thu 22-Nov-12 16:07:44

valium I swear I just got our first smile here too, making noses to DD I got a big smile not the same as when she has wind, she'll be 5 weeks tomorrow so was wondering if its to soon and I'm thinking more of it? I'm sure I'm not though

Chunkychicken Thu 22-Nov-12 16:09:31

MissMummy no idea about the back pain, but it does sound like nerve/muscular pain rather than labour. Perhaps your pelvis is slightly out of alignment and pressing on a nerve? As for the leaking, a week before A was born, I had profuse wetness that I can only assume was excess discharge. Once my waters went with A, I had to use a towel, not a panty liner, despite them leaking slowly.

pass has P been checked for tongue tie? And also, sorry if I'm being daft, but what does she do when she can't sustain a feed? I'm not sure I'd know the difference between a sleepy newborn and one that can't feed well. Oh and finally, was it a 'proper' lactation MW or specialist that checked your latch? If not, even the best of MWs can get it wrong. If you want to persevere, I would def recommend you get yourself to a group and seek advice/support. Bfing does take over your life with a newborn, but it does get MUCH much easier.

Nervous, apparently dd1 started smiling at 5 weeks, and by the time I saw her again at just under 6 weeks she was definitely smiling, at least in response to our smiles.

Dd2 is also 5 weeks tomorrow and the only smiles we get are followed by a large burp smile and we've had them since the beginning. I can't wait to experience her first real smile as I missed out with dd1.

LO seems a little better again today. No fever since Tuesday now but she has pretty much lost her little voice. When she cries itu's kind of squeaky, and would be funny if she wasn't obviously upset iykwim. When they took blood on Tuesday she cried real tears for the first time, and now she cried real tears each time she wants to eat or be picked up sad

StuntNun Thu 22-Nov-12 16:33:55

MM I had a bit of leaking through early labour so some waters were escaping but when I had the section there was a normal amount of waters present. So some can leak out and maybe baby's head plugs the hole or something!? When I had DS1 they trickled out slowly but constantly whereas with DS3 I just had small quantities leaking out here and there. I only know that it was my waters at all because there was blood in it, otherwise I would have thought it was excessive discharge. Maybe it's the 'hind waters' you hear about.

VQ maybe when your baby is on bed with you it's a more relaxing experience so there isn't the same swallowing of air or the pace of feeding is different so there isn't the same cause of wind. I think that although babies can feed in all kinds of different positions, some are more comfortable and suitable than others. I try to feed J in positions where I don't have to hold his head or my breast (apart from sometimes I have to depress the part of my boob near his nose so he can breathe).

ValiumQueen Thu 22-Nov-12 16:56:15

stunt if I had fed him in bed I would agree, but both times he was fed in the nursery and just had my boob as a dummy to drift off. Perhaps he is a baby who needs a dummy. In bed he sleeps on his side and in a gro bag with fluffy bum he does not roll over. I have tried to put him to sleep in the cot on his side and it worked once. HV thinks he is a cold baby so needs extra warmth, but it is not as if he sleeps on me. He is very good at feeding. Good latch, steady focused swallowing.

I am feeding him and stopping to wind frequently and he is bringing it up ok. Mostly.

I very nearly threw the towel in, but he is likely to have more wind issues with a bottle.

blonderthanred Thu 22-Nov-12 16:59:38

Oh, other clingy babies... I thought it was just mine. Felt like crap earlier as he is usually very peaceful in the mornings but it was like a midnight cluster feed, he was frantic and I couldn't even get out of bed. My mum usually pops round to give me a break but she is poorly today. Felt very tearful as most of you seem so sorted and I couldn't even manage a morning on my own.

Anyway this afternoon I thought I'd try the sling and he dozed off straight away and has been snoozing ever since. I even popped up to the corner shop to buy chocolate, I must have looked a bit mad in my random clothing choices but it was good to get some air and the chocolate. Maybe I can do this.

ValiumQueen Thu 22-Nov-12 17:03:25

Chocolate is very good for increasing milk supply. I am however giving up caffeine in case that is bothering him. I have given up coke, not that I had it often. The coffee is taking a while due to headaches. My BP has been very high again. Not suprising really. I will discuss it at 6 week check.

This thread is not accepting new messages.