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Dec 08 Mums - Onwards and bloody well upwards!

(996 Posts)
Beans36 Mon 15-Oct-12 19:17:44

How's this? Thought I'd just press on with it!

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 21:02:02

But you get a squishy baby at the end of it RT smile

I think you've hit the nail on the head for my feelings regarding technology. I think it offers great things for learning and I look forward to looking stuff up on websites with them, in fact we looked up stuff about the Queen for homeowrk for ds1 around the jubilee, but I'm not keen on games when there is so much else to do like Lego or the park!

I've actually shown dd stuff for letter sounds and over the summer used a free offer for reading eggs but it washes over her, she learns better with real things. I think she just sees computer stuff as like the TV so fun to watch but she doesn't remember it.

Kayz do you give him it? Does he jsut know he will get away with having something he prefers because of course you don't want him to go hungry so you give in? I wonder if a spot of "this is breakfast time you eat now or there is nothing until lunch" would work? You don't have to make that breakfast time first thing, it could still be after school run so he doesn't feel rushed but just be a bit strict about eating at meal times and not just whenever he wants. That approach works for dd when she has a meal refusal phase. Hers is more usually lunch she refuses but tough luck girly she refuses to eat it she gets nothing til dinner.

Honsandrevels Tue 16-Oct-12 21:08:06

Kayz Beans on toast is a great breakfast - better nutritionally than cereal I imagine! I'd give him a sandwich maybe with fruit rather than crisps. It doesn't matter if he is eating non-traditional foods for breakfast.

Indith I feel like you re technology. I don't want the dds to be left behind but I'm not keen on games consoles at the mo. I think it depends on the child. I know dd1 would be obsessed and it would be stressful rationing it.

DeidreBarlow Tue 16-Oct-12 21:17:30

I think everyone is right about getting the balance between techy and non techy toys. DD who was 6 in August got a DSi but also some dominoes, which she adores! In fact even DS loves playing them...that and a Toy Story pairs game which cost about £3 in Asda...brilliant!

DH is on the phone to his sister, they great meal out rumbles on!

Kayz, is he just not hungry first thing? Could he eat breakfast a little later maybe? DS went through a ridiculous phase of having dry cereal and his milk separate in a cup. But would always have milk on his cereal at mums house. One day I just put it on and said "if you don't like it, don't eat it"...he ate it...eventually!!

McKayz Tue 16-Oct-12 21:18:48

Indith, nope I give him nothing until 11 when he has lunch as he goes to nursery in the afternoon. On the odd occasion he eats breakfast I'll give him some raisins or an apple at half 9ish if he says he is hungry.

Mornings are such a rush here though as I need to get all 3 dressed and DD fed to leave the house at about 8:20. We get up at 6:45 and I then spend all morning telling DS2 to get dressed and eat his breakfast. I can't wait for DH to come home and then DS2 can always stay at home in the morning.

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 21:31:18

This too shall pass Kayz!

I feel your pain, our timings are similar in the mornings. Things I find that help are: I get up 15 mins before the big children are likely to emerge so I can quickly shower first. They get up, breakfast. Clothes are ready for them. The moment the last mouthful of breakfast is eaten they get dressed. If they start pottering off and playing I am screwed, I have to get in there before that happens. Then add a bit of bribary, if they are dressed and tooth brushed and ready then they can watch beebies til it is time to go. I set out expectations and extract promises before the TV goes on that when I say it is time to go they will turn it off and come with no shouting. If they break the promise then they wont be allowed it in the morning. Making sure they give me the answer as to what will happen works far better than telling them so I tell them my expectations then ask them "so when I say it is time to leave what do we do?" and they tell me "turn it off and don't cry". (It works, they get used to it. It is a VERY handy technique and also good for supermarkets etc, I jsut have to say "shop rules" and they go "no running off and no touching".) During those few mins I can feed the baby. I usually eat my own breakfast when I get back.

Tomorrow is the killer, both of them start at 8am. Totally worth it once I get home though! Other days I have dd starting at 8 and ds1 at 9 we are all dressed at breakfasted before we take her but I feed ds2 between the 2 runs or else dd isn't at nursery so we don't have to leave the house til 8.30. Postively relaxed those mornings are!

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 21:47:38

Agreed re Nintendo and the new PS etc so im leaning against those a bit, but iPad / iPod touch etc means you can choose to only download educational apps for them if you prefer. I kid you not my 2 have learnt a great deal without being compromised as he still reads dd her story at night, rides his bike without training wheels / stabilisers and was put up to the next class with the 4.5 year olds at nursery, so admittedly, while he is partial to the odd lap on gran turismo or watching a few too many episodes of Bubble Guppies, he's only shown that he's advancing in all areas because of it. He does have dh's brains though grin so maybe thats it. I'm just thrilled he has learnt to add and subtract all from "Team Umizoomi" but hey ho. Just hope parents don't hold dc back too much in fear of bring frowned on as the children will suffer more than the parents. I'm not at all trying to big up my dc's just rather defend the technology corner. Clearly I'm the same with holistic vs real medicine however I also understand not everyone is going to agree with me!
Ok lecture over..... Off to stress over how many people I've rubbed the wrong way. See, this is why I mustn't ramble.
Sorry you're feeling rough RT

McKayz Tue 16-Oct-12 21:56:11

The boys love the wii. They have some Lightening McQueen racing games and some sports games. They also like my phone. DS1 uses to find out what planes are flying over the house and DS2 finds recipes on it.

ZuleikaJambiere Wed 17-Oct-12 05:56:06

Thinking of you today Beans, much love xx

sybilfaulty Wed 17-Oct-12 06:51:08

Sending you strength for the coming day, lovely Beans. Much love to you and your family XXXX

RTchoke Wed 17-Oct-12 06:52:29

Also sending you love and strength Beans. Xx

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 06:58:32

Rubes I agree with you about the great apps you can get. I spend around £5 every 3 months on my pay as you go phone. Sadly I have yet to find a contract that will enable me to have a smart phone for that price! If anyone wants to enable me to buy a smartphone or a tablet so that my children may enter the world of technology then my paypal is scammerontheweb@yahoo.com. wink. All that stuff is jsut out of reach that's all. Which I guess is kind of what worries me. My basic kindle was kind of pushing the budget a bit present wise so even though stuff like the Fire is pretty cheap it still isn't someting we can justify buying.

Love to Beans and family x

DeidreBarlow Wed 17-Oct-12 07:29:17

Thinking of you today Beans. Sending much love and the strength to get through it all xx

JamInMyWellies Wed 17-Oct-12 07:52:53

Thinking of you all today Beans. Xxx

McKayz Wed 17-Oct-12 07:53:23

Woooo!! DS2 just ate a full bowl of coco pops! He said he wanted to wait but when he saw DS1 eating, he wanted his.

RTchoke Wed 17-Oct-12 08:32:40

Rubes - why do you think your console rambles will annoy people???? Btw I am hugely impressed your DS can add and subtract. Counting alone is considered good at 3. DD2 hears DD1 practicing maths alot. On Monday morning, when I went to wake her up, her first words were "6+6=10". DD1 corrected her and explained 5+5=10. DD2 screamed at DD1 for being rude. I intervened and said DD1 was right but DD2 was v clever to be thinking about numbers. That was the catalyst for a 10 minute screaming tantrum throughout which she insisted that 6+6=10. Sigh. She's not going to be an easy one to teach.

McKayz Wed 17-Oct-12 08:36:35

RT, that is a little bit funny. DS2 looks at the clock in the kitchen and says "1 2 3 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12" never ever says 4.

Rubena Wed 17-Oct-12 08:44:05

Indith, I get that, but you don't need a smart phone. I'm talking about ipod touch or ipads etc all of which you can buy pre owned or on eBay for a fraction of the cost of a new one and you don't need to have ongoing costs / contracts. You don't necessarily need loads of money for these things. I'm going to fund most of the kids presents with ebay sales / buying refurbished stuff if we go down that route. I buy a lot on ebay. I just won ds an almost new Zara winter jacket for £6.80 and it's £40 new in store and is honestly in mint condition. You don't have to be well off, just have to be smart about stuff.

Thinking of you and your family today Beans

Rubena Wed 17-Oct-12 09:03:49

Cross posted RT. Oh just because not everyone agrees with dc's using ipads / consoles etc, no matter how many times you explain that they are actually still doing puzzles!
I didn't mean you can ds can ask ds "what is 10 minus 4 and he says 6"! (that would be genius!) But if you ever see that show, it is a lot of simple maths stuff that give the dc's a chance to answer - all visual though, like "X take away Y = how many" (with pictures) some will say that's nothing, but he has done it from a very young age and it has helped him advance really fast as he's pretty good with his numbers & counting. That's not to say I haven't helped him too (I don't plonk him in front of the telly everyday to learn stuff) I'm just saying if he's occupied while I'm getting their dinner etc, it's not always a bad thing.

The kettle blew up this morning, 3 plumbers turned up early to replace the boiler at 750am, and they are now draining the system so have no water! Really want to go out but have to insure the car and wait for post and shopping!

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 09:17:49

We might have to agree to disagree on costs Rubes. I've a window open now for ipod touches and even a first gen one costs more than I've spent on their Christmas and birthday presents combined. I do buy most things second hand anyway, tisn't a new concept for me grin. A wii could be a joint present but an ipod they would end up needing one each. Oh well. They chall be technologically deprived but I'm sure they will survive. So long as they don't move out of the village, then they can remain in our time warp grin. Mind you our village has fibreoptic broadband you know. No gas. some of the houses round here still have the sort of open fire stoves for heating water etc that you get in Beamish museum. At least ours is a closed stove so we are positively modern! Another MNer lives in my village but she is ona newbuild estate and has an LPG underground tank. She is outside the time warp I reckon.

Rubena Wed 17-Oct-12 09:32:12

That's not what I am saying Indith. And what's the price of the one you are looking at?

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 09:47:07

They seem to go for around £60?

Rubena Wed 17-Oct-12 09:57:10

you can get them around 50 on ebay or somewhere like HMV pre owned. We often get family members to contribute to 1 thing like that rather than everyone buying them individual presents.

Anyway, your post illustrates that I am coming across all wrong. I'm not how you think I am Indith, but this is the reason I shouldn't ramble away on here. So I won't anymore, & sorry if I offended sad

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 10:02:29

No no no don't misunderstand, you are not coming over all wrong at all!Sorry, I'm not intending to make you feel that way. It is helpful to know what other people do.

Would be nice if our family members would contribute to things like that. They never will though they are all in competition to give the biggest pile of crap possible to fill our house up hmm.

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 14:12:19

Oh dear I broke the thread.

I wasn't trying to be mean or anything! Darn writing not conveying tone. Do I need ot go on a course? Include more of these smilegrinwink? <<throws thanks and brew after Rubes>>. Except perhaps not the brew that could hurt.

VagolaJahooli Wed 17-Oct-12 14:39:43

I'm not sure that not having techy stuff holds kids back, DH is a paid hacker and has a degree in computer engineering, but didn't own a computer until part way through university. Also I have a friend who is a computer scientist and basically is researching and building future artificial intelligence who grew up on a council estate in N.I. Having said that we have a Wii (love it), both DH & I have smart phones which the boys know how to use, DS1 has a childpad (mini childproof version of android tablet) and the boys use my tablet for puzzles and games (highly recommend the britannica series). My take on it all is that these things are now apart of modern culture, and as with anything as long as they don't take up all of a child's time then they are quite good. The boys spend a lot of time bouncing on the trampoline and generally running about, so having some down time is a good idea. DS1 also spends time reading. (By the way, Rubes that is amazing that DS reads!) My only concern in all this is posture. I do worry about how they sit when using consoles, and for now I don't allow violent games.

Rubes we watch those two shows but all in dutch, so we sing all the bubble guppies songs in dutch. Luckily they are simple enough for me to understand grin.

I also hate niggling over the bill. We are Veggie and I don't usually drink much or get desert, but it always seems to be the big drinkers who eat seafood who want to whine over splitting the bill. Once we spent 30 minutes trying to sort out a bill because one guy said he refused to split because he only had one glass of wine. He must have forgotten all the beer he drank and his seafood platter. It was precious to see his face when it turned out his meal cost the most. Too late then he couldn't go back and split it. Still it left a bad feeling having to niggle over it all. You pay for a night out, not just dinner.

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