Nikah etiquette.

[ChangeMyHappy]

We've been invited to a muslim wedding at the weekend, and having never been to one before I want to make sure that I don't make a major faux pas!

Our friends have just mentioned to dress modestly, but that's it. Do we take a wedding present? Is there a particular 'side' to sit (can you tell I've only ever attended Christian weddings?)

We are taking our children (age 5 and 1.5), there will be lots of other children present. If the younger one makes noise do we go outside (as I would usually do) or would that be considered rude? Are noisy children more accepted (within reason, obviously!)

Any advice greatly received

[MsVenus]

You can take a gift or put 20 or so in an envelope, either is acceptable unless stated otherwise on the invitation card.

Depending on how conservative or not the family is, seating may be segregated along gender lines. I have been to both so be prepared for either.

Long maxi skirts and dresses are ideal with a cardi or jacket to cover shoulders/arms.

The actual nikkah ceremony is quite short and lots of people do it privately beforehand with a more public reception to celebrate afterwards. Some couples have the ceremony in front of the guests together or others do it separately with the bride giving her consent beforehans. It depends on the cultural background of the couples as to how the ceremony will be performed.

Children are always welcome and nobody bats an eyelid about them playing but if you spot a tantrum coming on then you might want to take them out for a breather.

As muslim weddings are usually large and long, you will find that your kids will get overstimulated and
bored so take toys and snacks.

Have a light sandwich lunch beforehand as the timings are horrendous, depending on the number of guests you may not eat before 3pm.

[MsVenus]

If the invite says 1pm then I usually get there at 2pm to find that the groom has just arrived and things are slowly getting started.

If its an asian muslim wedding then everybody waits for the arrival of the groom as he is coming to 'claim' his bride from her family. So its a reversal of western tradition where everybody waits for the arrival of the bride.

[ChangeMyHappy]

Thank you both, that's really useful.

Now I can just look forward to two lovely friends getting married!

[sashh]

Don't be scared to ask people when you are there if you are unsure. Just about everyone in the world would rather you ask something.