Naming ceremony contribution

[justadad]

We've been asked to be "oddparents" for a friend's baby daughter and are required to do "a turn" as part of the event. Could be a reading / song etc, but am totally blank as to what would be appropriate. The thing itself can be reasonably light-hearted, but we'll need to conclude it with a message of commitment and support.

Any suggestions?

[LeahE]

I think the best thing to do for the message of commitment and support is to make it very personal. Think about it -- what do you want to do for your friend's DD? How do you see your relationship when she's a preteen, a teenager, a young woman? What do you want her to be able to count on you for? What's the one life lesson you'd like to be able to teach her, or piece of advice you'd like to give? Jot down some notes about those things and try to turn them into a paragraph or so. It will mean much more to your friend and, eventually, to her DD than if you borrowed someone else's form of words.

I'll look up the readings we had from oddparents at DS's naming ceremony and the other readings we'd suggested as possibilities (they're on the other computer so I don't have them to hand just now).

[LeahE]

From The Little Prince

"Men," said the little prince, "set out on their way in express trains, but they do not know what they are looking for. Then they rush about, and get excited, and turn round and round..."
And he added:
"It is not worth the trouble..."
The well that we had come to was not like the wells of the Sahara. The wells of the Sahara are mere holes dug in the sand. This one was like a well in a village. But there was no village here, and I thought I must be dreaming...
"It is strange," I said to the little prince. "Everything is ready for use: the pulley, the bucket, the rope..."
He laughed, touched the rope, and set the pulley to working. And the pulley moaned, like an old weathervane which the wind has long since forgotten.
"Do you hear?" said the little prince. "We have wakened the well, and it is singing..."
I did not want him to tire himself with the rope.
"Leave it to me," I said. "It is too heavy for you."
I hoisted the bucket slowly to the edge of the well and set it there-- happy, tired as I was, over my achievement. The song of the pulley was still in my ears, and I could see the sunlight shimmer in the still trembling water.
"I am thirsty for this water," said the little prince. "Give me some of it to drink..."
And I understood what he had been looking for.
I raised the bucket to his lips. He drank, his eyes closed. It was as sweet as some special festival treat. This water was indeed a different thing from ordinary nourishment. Its sweetness was born of the walk under the stars, the song of the pulley, the effort of my arms. It was good for the heart, like a present. When I was a little boy, the lights of the Christmas tree, the music of the Midnight Mass, the tenderness of smiling faces, used to make up, so, the radiance of the gifts I received.
"The men where you live," said the little prince, "raise five thousand roses in the same garden-- and they do not find in it what they are looking for."
"They do not find it," I replied.
"And yet what they are looking for could be found in one single rose, or in a little water."
"Yes, that is true," I said.
And the little prince added:
"But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart..."

[LeahE]

from Kenneth Patton?s This World, My ^Home

Nothing is strange to a child for whom
everything is new.
Where all things are new nothing is novel.
The child does not yet know what belongs and
what does not;
therefore for her all things belong.
The ear of a child is open to all music.
Her eyes are open to all arts.
Her mind is open to all tongues.
Her being is open to all manners.
In the child's country there are no foreigners.

[LeahE]

by A. Powell Davies:

Let our children learn to be honest, both with themselves and with all others.

Let our children learn to love truth...even when it goes against them. If they do this, they will not be hampered much by prejudice, for wherever truth can enter, prejudice cannot long remain.

Let our children find courage and discover that they are stronger than the things of which they are afraid. Courage in their dealings with their own lives, courage in speaking out for the right, in condemning injustice, in standing for good against evil, courage to remain loyal to a deep conviction, and courage to admit when they have made mistakes.

Let our children cultivate kindness. Let them learn that there is good and bad in all of us, and that each of us must make a hard struggle to bring the good out on top.

[LeahE]

Ode on the Whole Duty of Parents -- Frances Cornford

The spirits of children are remote and wise,
They must go free
Like fishes in the sea
Or starlings in the skies,
Whilst you remain
The shore where casually they come again.
But when there falls the stalking shade of fear,
You must be suddenly near,
You, the unstable, must become a tree
In whose unending heights of flowering green
Hangs every fruit that grows, with silver bells;
Where heart-distracting magic birds are seen
And all the things a fairy-story tells;
Though still you should possess
Roots that go deep in ordinary earth,
And strong consoling bark
To love and to caress.
Last, when at dark
Safe on the pillow lies an up-gazing head
And drinking holy eyes
Are fixed on you,
When, from behind them, questions come to birth
Insistently,
On all the things that you have ever said
Of suns and snakes and parallelograms and flies,
And whether these are true,
Then for a while you'll need to be no more
That sheltering shore
Or legendary tree in safety spread,
No, then you must put on
The robes of Solomon,
Or simply be
Sir Isaac Newton sitting on the bed.

[LeahE]

Welcome to the world ? Si Kahn

Pick me out an old-time song
Sing it right and sing it wrong
Play a tune that's nine months long
Welcome to the World
Take my fiddle and my bow
Play you every tune I know
Keep you dancing while you grow
Welcome to the World

We've got nappies by the pail
Mama's skinny as a rail
Got the whole world by the tail
Welcome to the World
Listen to that baby squall
Must be nearly ten feet tall
And you'd think she'd done it all
Welcome to the World

In my mind I see you clear
Changing through the days and years
And we're glad you're finally here
Welcome to the World
May you grow up proud and strong
May your life be rich and long
May your nights be filled with song
Welcome to the World

[LeahE]

Forever Young (lyrics)

May life bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay
Forever young

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the light surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay
Forever young

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
May your song always be sung
May you stay
Forever young

[LeahE]

Unknown blessing:

Unknown

May the strength of the wind and the light of the sun,
The softness of the rain and the mystery of the moon
Reach you and fill you.
May beauty delight you and happiness uplift you,
May wonder fulfil you and love surround you.
May your step be steady and your arm be strong,
May your heart be peaceful and your word be true.
May you seek to learn, may you learn to live,
May you live to love, and may you love - always.

[LeahE]

A Celtic Benediction

The peace of the running water to you,
The peace of the flowing air to you,
The peace of the quiet earth to you,
The peace of the shining stars to you,
And the love and the care of us all to you.

[LeahE]

Riders -- Robert Frost

The surest thing there is is we are riders,
And though none too successful at it, guiders,
Through everything presented, land and tide
And now the very air, of what we ride.

What is this talked-of mystery of birth
But being mounted bareback on the earth?
We can just see the infant up astride,
Her small fist buried in the busy hide.

There is our wildest mount - the headless horse.
But though it runs unbridled off its course,
And all our blandishments would seem defied,
We have ideas yet that we haven't tried.

[LeahE]

By Siegfried Sassoon (can't remember the name of the poem)

Go, and be happy
You are born into the dazzling light of day

Go, and be wise
You are born upon an earth which needs new eyes

Go, and be strong
You are born into a world where love rights wrong

Go, and be brave
Possess your soul; that you alone can save

[LeahE]

Actually, found the longer version of the A. Powell Davies one. DS's oddfather edited it down a bit because he didn't feel comfortable doing something long, but I think I prefer this one in general:

Let our children learn to be honest, both with themselves and with all others. This is a basic human value.

Let our children learn to love truth. No matter whence it comes, so it be truth let them freely accept it, even when it goes against them. If they do this, they will not be much hampered by prejudice, for wherever truth can enter, prejudice cannot long remain. Moreover, by fidelity to truth the mind is nourished and becomes well grown.

Let our children find courage and discover that they are stronger than the things of which they are afraid. Courage in their dealings with their own lives, courage in speaking out for the right, in condemning injustice, in standing for good against evil, courage to remain loyal to a deep conviction at whatever cost.

Let our children cultivate breadth of humanity: a cordial welcome for whatever is beneficial to the human race, no matter whence it comes.

Let our children cultivate kindness, for it does not often come without cultivation, and it is needed: the world is too harsh.

Let our children cultivate humility. Let our children learn that they are like other people... and that there is good and bad in all of us, and that each of us must make
a hard struggle to bring the good out on top. Then, because of their own lost battles, they will acquire a gentle wisdom and walk softly where other people might get hurt.

[LeahE]

from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran

... Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's
longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they
belong not to you.

You may give them your love
but not your thoughts.

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.

[LeahE]

BTW we had our oddparents' promises as question-and-answer but what we came up with was

Celebrant: Will you all formally accept a commitment to X, to take a special interest in his development, to offer friendship and sanctuary, a sympathetic ear to his concerns and advice where appropriate, and to enrich his life by offering an alternative perspective to that provided by his family?

Oddparents: We will.

Hilary: Will you additionally endeavour to support LeahE and Mr. LeahE in the difficult role facing them as parents, and in their efforts to live up to the ideals they have laid out in this ceremony?

Oddparents: We will.

[justadad]

Thanks for all of these LeahE, some really useful stuff here. Hope you didn't spend too long typing it all out!

Cheers,

JaD.

[LeahE]

Cut and paste is a marvellous invention...

[alexsmum]

i love this by phillip larkin

it's the 3rd one down.

[alexsmum]

ok that link didn't work-lets have another go
this
it's the 3rd one down

[alexsmum]

brilliant ! it worked!
as i said i love this poem and think it very appropriate!

[AdelaideS]

love that one alexsmum...

[suejonez]

Have to say thats all been very useful to me too. Did you really call your OddParents that (?!) or did you come up with another name that was GodParents?

[LeahE]

We ended up calling them godparents in the ceremony itself (with a bit from the celebrant about how we were using the word in its accepted sense to describe a social relationship rather than in any religious sense), but tend to call them oddparents between ourselves (DH is particularly taken with the term). We dithered a lot about what to call them but ultimately reckoned godfather/godmother was easier for DS to explain in later life.

[suejonez]

I'd sort of ended up there too, sounds right to me. I'm an imperfect christian but will be adopting a child who will probably be part muslim past Russian orthodox so seems a bit wierd and wrong to me to be christening them in a CofE church!