Calling all Muslims!!!!

[Babadoo]

Salams to you all

My deen is very low, has been ever since my DS was born (11 months ago!) when, at 6 weeks old, I just took off my headscarf and stopped praying. I don't have a Muslim community as such, I have my family-in-law but they are cultural rather than religious. So I wanted to start a relaxed thread about Islam for an opportunity to share dawah!!!!

[Wintersun]

Salaam.
There are quite a few Muslims on this site. I don't know how religious they are.
I am a fairly relaxed Muslim myself. I don't wear the headscarf and have never been inclined to.
Why did you have a sudden change of heart?

[Babadoo]

Not sure to be honest. I think a combination of pressure from in-laws to be less obviously religious and exhaustion/misery from baby who only slept an hour at a time overnight! But since taking it off, not one of my family-in-law have mentioned it! In 11 months!

[Wintersun]

Your inlaws put pressure on you to take it off??
Its not fair that they should pressure you like that but you should do whats right for you.
How do you feel about taking it off?
Did you used to belong to a Muslim community?
It does obviously make a difference when you 'belong' to a group of like-minded people.
Our community is really good - religious and quite progressive and open minded.
How's your baby sleeping now?
My ds didn't sleep through the night until he was 11 months old and I am so thankful now that I can get a nights sleep. It makes such a difference.

[Babadoo]

I spent the first 5 months of my DS life trying to get him to sleep! It's amazing how you can survive on 6 hours broken sleep a night. I eventually, after trying all things humanistic, did controlled crying and took his dummy away, now he sleeps all through the night, alhumdulilah!

I used to belong to a very good new Muslim circle, I met so many sisters there. I had a lot of support and encouragement masha'Allah. But when DS was born, I didn't hear from a single one of them!!!!! I think the first to contact me (after I'd been leaving lots of phone messages for everyone) was when DS was a month old. I think only two have visited since then. I was really upset at the time so I've kind of moved away from them now, that's why I feel I have no "community", aside from my in-laws of course. When you say your community is open minded, what do you mean? And do you all meet regularly?

[saadia]

Salaam Babadoo, well done with the controlled crying. A proper night's sleep makes such a difference.

Is ds your first child? I think the first year or more after your first child is an extremely tiring, emotional and demanding time and it takes a while to get it together again. It is only now that my ds2 is 2 that I feel I have some control again over my own time to some extent.

It is weird that your in-laws haven't mentioned the headscarf. Do you live with them? Did your dh say anything?

[Wintersun]

I don't balme you for feeling upset! Thats awful that they were n't there to suppor to you when you really needed it.
Do you have support elsewhere?

When I mean open-minded, I mean the community understands the pressures on Muslims growing up in this country. I know some communities are very inward looking and frown upon, say, mixed marriages.
My mum, who is really religious, did lots of charity work organised by the Imams wife and a group of Muslim women with women groups from local churches to encourage inter-religion relations. I know some communities wouldn't think such things as being an Islamic priority.

[ChaCha]

Salam to you,

Only just saw your post. Congratulations on DS, I had my son almost 7 months ago al Hamdulillah.

I'm a regular MNer so always around. I try to find some 'ME' time throughout the day which is generally on the PC. Assuming you are also a SAHM, do you live with family?

I understand what you mean about 'cultural' as opposed to religious. It's tricky isn't it?

I chose to practise Islam about 6 years ago. My soul was in need of some serious detox. I read a book that blew my mind, and it all went from there. Met my husband (a convert to Islam) and that's where the story begins ...

[ameli]

Hello all,

Im muslim and do not wear the scarf. My imaan tends to vary from being very strong to very weak. I do not pray five times a day and let my son watch tv and watch tv myself. My sis is the opposite, she wars full niqaab and teaches in an islamic school. We often talk about islam, i asked her what made her change and why she decided to cover. She talked alot about the meaning of life and the hereafter which made so much sense to me. She has given me several books, which i have not read. When i see her and speak with her about silly problems and issues she tells me to pray and look into islam more as she thinks it will give me peace and direction. Generally i am happy in life , i have a lovely son, new house and the most amazing life partner. Although, some days things get me down. I know that i have so much to thank allah for, so why am i like this?

[ameli]

babbado,

well done on getting bubs to sleep, things get better slowly. You finally feel like life is returning to normal. Where are you from Babbado and everone else ? i am from Barkingside.