How to let go

[Thistledew]

I wasn't sure whether to post this here or in relationships, but decided on here in the hope of some philosophical perspectives. I don't follow any religion and don't have a belief in any divine being, but am open to different views.

My problem is that I am recently finding it difficult to let go of disappointment over small things. A few examples - there was something I wanted to buy on eBay but I forgot to put in a bid before it ended; or I really wanted to go swimming after work but forgot about roadworks and traffic jams on my normal route home so I didn't take the alternative route and ended up getting back too late to swim; or today I have an injury which means it is not a good idea for me to go out on my bike, which I was really looking forward to.

All these things have made me disproportionately disappointed, frustrated and cross almost to the point of being angry. I turn this mostly inwards on myself but am aware it means that I am not the most sunny person to be around, which is unfair on DH and other family.

I think this comes from an overflow of something that is a strength of mine - that I am good at problem solving and very tenacious. This is very useful for my job and also means that I am good at things like doing significant DIY projects at home.

I am aware that the flip side of this is that I tend to be controlling - not so much to change other people, but a bit of a tendency to take charge and steamroller.

So any ideas on how I can work on myself to let the small stuff go? How not to be cross with myself if I don't live up to my own expectations all of the time?

[raisah]

I have a similar problem with thinking about how if I had done or said x then y wouldn't have happened. It is difficult to let go of the glass half empty view of life and I should try harder. I need to make the most out of life rather than focus on the negatives but I think that's where my problem lies. I want to make the most out of life because I've experienced a few bumps along the way so I've become a bit controlling as a result. I find it difficult to experience the moment because I am aiming for perfection all the time. Anything which is less or different to the desired result is seen as a failure. I will read that article recommended in the post above & will watch this thread with interest.

Maybe move it to AIBU for traffic & for the diversity of replies.