Someone on another thread recommended God In All Things by Gerard Hughes. Chapter 1 looks at being spiritually divided - how we separate Church and State in our heads and our lives. (In a slightly disappointing way as it seems to present the issue as if you had never thought of it, and also it almost seems to be suggested that you don't really have to challenge the mean common sense conventional orthodoxy that blows my mind when Christians exhibit it, especially Tory cruelty. but never mind)
anyway one of the three exercises at the end of the chapter is: imagine Jesus comes to your house. Write about this.
Firstly - I found myself wondering what I have in to offer him to eat. Obviously you offer a cup of tea in the first place, a safe bet at most times of day. But I don't have any biscuits or anything like that. Plus I should really be offering a decent meal. Should I try to make some kind of mediterranean fish thing to make him feel at home, or would that be a mistake as I would get it wrong and I should just make something completely different? What do I have in? I could make a lovely quiche but then I would be in the kitchen doing the pastry and that's not very hostessy.
Maybe he would like a wash. Give him a clean towel and offer him the bathroom. Maybe offer him clean clothes? Is that offensive? I could just put some out in the bathroom as a hint. the new washing machine has a fiendish spin and I could get his dry in no time in this weather.
If I introduce him to the girls as Jesus, they will just accept this, they know about Jesus and they will be shy but won't embarrassingly refuse to believe it. Nor would they if I introduced them to Father Christmas.
I wonder if I could get the vicar round? Should I alert him on a "fyi" basis like when a client drops in and asks to see you but you should let the main account manager know?
Depressing conclusion (like on a quiz in a teen magazine:
IF YOUR ANSWERS WERE MOSTLY ABOUT DOMESTIC CRAP AND MATTERS OF ETIQUETTE: You are mainly a Martha. You like to play at being a philosopher, but when the chips are down, it's you who cooks the chips! Try to indulge your thoughtful, spiritual side a little more if the Living God drops round.
What would you do?
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If Jesus visited your house
28 replies
curryeater · 18/07/2013 14:18
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