I know some will suggest I post on mental health section, but I want some wider perspectives. I do go to a Pentecostal church but am not a very good example of a Christian and have done plenty that I regret. I have tried talking to god and a couple of others at church, but I feel like I can't let go of the feeling that I am bad, cannot be forgiven. In the last three days, my moods have been more erratic and I keep getting flashes of a thought of a demons face...a bit like in Donne Draco. For a few months I have not been able to shake the feeling that I am not worthy of god and will go to hell. My indiscretions are all tied up in the context of some recent unhappy times, but looking back I wish I had conducted myself with more grace and patience. Other people think I am a great mum, lovely person, but when I am alone, I hate my own company. I keep having a line from a song going round my head " it's hard to dance with the devil on your back". That's where I feel he is!
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1944girl ·
05/05/2013 17:38
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