Sex before marriage

(33 Posts)
PenguinBear Thu 11-Apr-13 13:55:22

One of my friends is almost 30 and never had sex ( nothing wrong with that before anyone thinks I am bring unkind). She has said that as part of her religious views, she is waiting till marriage. ( She is christian).

Is that a belief of all Christians or just some denominations? Would the church not want me there if I joined as DP and I have children and are not married blush

sieglinde Sat 13-Apr-13 18:14:07

SolidGold, contraception hasn't been available for centuries, so it can't have been withheld for centuries....

What's your evidence about marital rape? I mean, how can you possibly know this? I have never ever heard any RC friends say anything remotely like it. It's fantasy writing.

The RC church ALSO began in a climate of misogyny - do you need a history lesson about the Roman empire and gender, perhaps? it didn't create misogyny. It reflected it. Remember that while there were SOME FEW female deities with women priestesses, the MAJORITY of deities were served only by men. Remember that Hebrew priests were all men. Same as the Beeb, then.

Contraception... rape... imaginary friend...pointless capital letters.. Your score continues to mount.

marjproops Sun 14-Apr-13 18:49:50

God is much more interested in loving people than condemming. a very good point.

Im a christian, i saved myself for marriage (although being abused, those that did it did not 'save' me) and when ex- left me (he was unfaithful the whole time AND gave me an std cos of it) ive been celibate ever since (not that anyone would want me anyway).

Im very judgypants admittedly, i know, i know, i do take the log out of my own eye first, and there are couples in my church who live together and have dcs. but the church doesnt condemn them, they might not be married but they are commited to each other.

marjproops Sun 14-Apr-13 18:56:56

seiglinde ive had marital rape.

sex is meant to be aggreeable between both people, and my ex raped me, saying it was his 'right' as a husband and that i was ridiculous as his wife it was my duty to have sex with him.

sex. never making love. i was forced to marry him (long story) and i tried to love him but i didnt. i tried to 'do my duty' but he was violent and life-threatening.

madhairday Sun 14-Apr-13 19:40:40

marjproops sad

I have no words, what an absolutely awful time you went through sad

But you are valuable, you are precious, you are beautiful. I hope and pray you can move beyond feeling that no one would want you and that God thinks the absolute world of you.

marjproops Sun 14-Apr-13 20:40:08

Thanx, mad didnt mean to hijak thread but a poster said she hadnt heard of marital rape, and I just wanted to say it does exist.

ONLY thing i agree with solidgold on btw!

and my ex claimed to be a christian.

if i ever DID meet someone and loved him enough to get over (pardon the expression!) the rape stuff, tbh, even though Im a 'christian 'christan -IFKWIM id prob want him, if was serious about me, to 'take the car for a test drive' as i dont know if I actually COULD and wouldnt want him to have that ultimate commitment of a binding contract (Im very romantic btw and would like it all properly done) and then regret it if i couldnt get over the traume.

dont know if that made any sense, im not very good at expressing myself.

Marjproops just wanted to send a big hug your way and say how very sorry angry and sad I am that you have had these terrible experiences.

For what it is worth Ido think you express yourself very well. I am sure that someone would love you but I am sure you would be very cautious about being committed to someone again.

Just wanted to send you that virtual hug because there really are, as mad says, no words but am thinking of you.

sieglinde Mon 15-Apr-13 09:31:12

marj, I did NOT say I hadn't heard of marital rape. I said I hadn't heard of it being supported by the RC clergy. I'm realy sorry if misreading my post brought extra distress.

Your experience sounds utterly hnorrible, and I sympathise entirely. I've messaged you with more...

marjproops Mon 15-Apr-13 13:49:12

Italian thanx. i try. my english isnt perfect! and im white British,(european britsh) not from one of those cultures where the men do what they do (no names mantioned) to their wives in the name of their 'religion' which makes the whole point of ANY religion being blasted and why there are so many atheists. my ex was just a brute.

sorry sieg misread your post there. didnt stress me any more than usual...i live with the memory all the time. thanx for pm.

getting back to OP, nothing wrong with being a virgin and waiting for the right guy. total respect there.dont know if guys feel the same about themselves,, it seems a blight on their manhood if they are virgins at marraige, and the peer pressure (films like the 40 year old virgin dont help).

id be a bit concerned if a man said he was a virgin and over 40 tbh!
the differences between men and women there.

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