If you were an inanimate object in my house...

[Trills]

You would be in the place that you had been put.

The question is not what the object wants, but the identity and motivation of the person who put you there.

[Trills]

Just being pedantic. In Pedants' Corner. As is appropriate.

I actually think "if you were a..." is a more interesting way of asking "where on earth is the...". :)