Ideas for party for "shy" 4 yr old?

[Mandymoo]

DD will be 4 soon and really wants a party this year - which is fine except she hates being the centre of attention. We've been to a few parties this year and she's joined in but its taken her an hour to settle in and if someone even smiled at her she hid behind me!

Any ideas on how i can give her the party she wants without making it an ordeal for her?

[Ponka]

Don't have kids that old but why don't you try something like going out to a farm or somewhere else where the kids' attention is focused on looking at something else with a few of her favourite mates and their mums? Presents given on a casual individual basis rather than all at once in a ring with her in the centre?!

[hulababy]

Can you find some type of party or evnue where there things to do staright away, so the other children's attention is focused on something other than birthday girl?

At DD's party we had a bouncy castle, craft stuff and football nets - this kept all the children occupied without the need for games, etc. which I think is when your DD may find her a focus.

And why not have presents and cards going straight onto a table or in a bag to deal with later at home. This is pretty common anyway.

TBH, if your DD is very shy I'd do away with the Happy Birthday singing too. One idea could be to find a copy of the song and download it onto CD. Have a CD player int he party room, and have the song playing on a loop as the children arrive and/or leave, as you hand out party bags. Then you still get the song being sung, but your DD doesn't have to deal with centre of attention thing.


What type of party does your DD say she wants?

[southeastastra]

you could always do arty things, the children will be so into their 'creations' that she can get comfortable in her own time.

[Blondilocks]

Farm is a good one. Other thoughts I had were hiring an entertainer or going to an activity place.

We tend to collect the presents up on the side & then open them after the party rather than doing it at the party.

[Ellaroo]

Why not try and find a pottery painting place? I think they sometimes run children's parties.

[Mandymoo]

hulababy - dd says she wants a party with all the games, etc but we are actually at a party with games she clams up and clings on to me - its very frusrtating as she is very outgoing at home but seems uable to "let herself go" outside of the home.

[southeastastra]

ahh maybe she could invite just a few close friends for a tea? i was very shy as a child and would hide behind my mum all the time.

[hulababy]

How about a tea party with just a handful of her best friends. And maybe have a specific activity for them all to do - a craft task, some baking/cooking, etc. I think the key is to try and move the focus of the party from your DD onto another organised, lengthy activity.

[Mala]

I have a dd of a similar age and nature so I know what it's like. I think the key thing is to keep the numbers low-maybe 6-8 children maximum.
Do you have a small softplay centre near you? There are one's where you can hire the place for one hour for just the birthday party. If there are other children around it can put off shy children. Or even a local gymastics club near you that rents out their rooms for parties - they will have trampolines and other equipment for children to play with. I am planning to do the latter for my dd's next birthday. Your dd can play with you by her side till she warms up. You could then have a couple of games like pass the parcel, maybe do something like making fairywands/face painting while they have their birthday lunch/tea.
You might find that when it's her birthday, she might be a little less shy as she will be surrounded by all her frinds. I certainly found that to be true when my dd had her 3rd birthday party. She is alot more timid and wary at other people's parties!

[oliveoil]

I hate those soft play areas BUT if you hire them for a party they are tollerable (is that a word?) for me as you know all the parents and children there - the one near me is small and you get exclusive hire.

We are doing this for dd1 who is 4 in October and sounds exactly like your dd .

Then, she can run around and get into the swing of it for an hour or so, then when it comes down to food and singing Happy Birthday, she will hopefully have come out of her shell.

That is my hope anyway.

xx