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Parties/celebrations

Would you expect people to pay to attend your child's party?

63 replies

willthechangework · 22/06/2006 14:46

I've changed my name for this (I hope) as I would hate the other mother to identify me.

DS brought home an invitation from school on Monday to a child's party, the party is actually tobogganing in real snow in a new complex that has opened up.

The invite states that children will have to hire snow suits at the price of £5 per child. The complex is also a good 15 or so miles away and very few if any of the parents from the class drive, so it makes it quite difficult to get too.

This morning at the school gates the party mum, was going round the other partents asking if anyone would like to take part in the tobogganing and help out as she was worried about having a big group of 5/6 yr olds in case any of them were frightened/ not keen to take part.

However, she then said that it would only cos the helpers £15

She barely knew any of these people and was charging then to help out at her child's party.

Does anyone else thing this is quite rude??

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BettySpaghetti · 22/06/2006 14:48

whats happened to good old jelly and ice cream and a game of pass the parcel?!


I personally wouldn't have a party for my children that would cost the guests to attend!

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BettySpaghetti · 22/06/2006 14:49

sorry, didn't answe the qusetion -yes I think its a bit cheeky!

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NotQuiteCockney · 22/06/2006 14:49

Mindbogglingly rude.

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willthechangework · 22/06/2006 14:50

Well exactly, or a good old McDonald's party

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GDG · 22/06/2006 14:50

I think it's outrageous!! You either pay for the child's party or you don't! If she can't afford to pay for them to go tobogganing she should have chosen something else! I'd be quite tbh!

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bluejelly · 22/06/2006 14:50

It depends. Parties can be v expensive and if I knew that the mother was struggling financially then I'd be a lot more sympathetic. £5 is not the end of the world

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Marina · 22/06/2006 14:51

Rude, I think.
We are doing t-shirt painting for our low-tech party on Saturday and I was astonished when one of the mums asked me if she needed to supply the t-shirt. It was very kind of her to ask, but I think parties for children have to be "all-found" really. I bet the woman is already paying ££££ for that kind of venue, so you'd think she'd have thought to cough the extra for suits and helpers

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GDG · 22/06/2006 14:51

But if she's struggling financially, why has she chosen this for a party?! What's wrong with a bit of pass the parcel in her front room?!

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Marina · 22/06/2006 14:52

But bluejelly, those venues charge a LOT. Better to tailor a limited budget to a venue and bear in mind the guests might be strapped for cash tbh.

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BettySpaghetti · 22/06/2006 14:52

But bluejelly, it is possible to have a party within your budget (whatever that may be) -this woman has obviously gone beyond her means and is asking everyone else to fund it.

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WigWamBam · 22/06/2006 14:52

If the mother was struggling financially, maybe this wasn't the best kind of party to have in the first place, bluejelly!

I don't think it's acceptable to have a party that any guest has to pay for - let alone for the helpers to have to pay too.

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Tommy · 22/06/2006 14:53

agree with GDG - if you can't afford it why have it? Couldn't she just have taken her DS on his own or with one friend OR told him he would have to wait for that sort of party.
I wouldn't really have a problem with paying for my child to go as it would probably be quite exciting but asking helpers to pay is a bit cheeky.

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Furball · 22/06/2006 14:53

Very cheeky! She could have worded it differently like, if you would like to come as well I'm afraid it will be £15. I suppose £5 to hire the suit is just the way of it.

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Marina · 22/06/2006 14:53

Snap GDG.
After a nice (no hidden costs) splurgy party for ds last year we are reverting to our usual mini-quiche and pin the dagger on Diego Maradona festivities.

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bluejelly · 22/06/2006 14:53

Having parties at home can be so stressful though, can't they? Hate them myself

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yorkshirelass79 · 22/06/2006 14:54

Message withdrawn

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tenalady · 22/06/2006 14:55

Yep rude it is and quite astonishing. The tobogganing idea is a bit off the wall for 5 year olds but I like it. My ds would be up for it and I know it is quite pricey to arrange so to pay for the snow wouldnt be a problem for me (but then Ive got one he could use in anycase). The helper having to pay £15 is a hell of a cheek. If she cant cope or the establishment is not set up for the monsters on snow then I wouldnt choose to have an activity there frankly.

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SenoraPostrophe · 22/06/2006 14:55

(and I'm a right tight-arse usually!)

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Marina · 22/06/2006 14:55

Well, yes. We have booked a church hall for £60 for four hours - more space for busy little people and no carpets to fret about. You don't have to spend a packet. After a run of amusing but hectic "venue" parties in ds' class this year, I was relieved and pleased to hear they are all looking forward to a bit of bouncing around to Fat Les

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GDG · 22/06/2006 14:55

Yes they can be stressful, but you just tailor it to your budget and stress levels! She could take just a couple of friends somewhere or just have a few friends round for tea instead of an all singing, all dancing party.

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Pinotmum · 22/06/2006 14:56

I think it's a bit rude and does she expect every child to bring a present as well? I think I'd make my excuses for that party

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GDG · 22/06/2006 14:56

LOL at Fat les!

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bundle · 22/06/2006 14:58

we're doing trampolining on sunday for dd1, but not charging entry...

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singersgirl · 22/06/2006 14:59

I agree with others - you hold a party you can afford and if that's only a few friends for tea, then that's what you do. I would be ! A friend was telling me the other day that her daughter had been asked to pay towards the cost of a bear at a bear-making party at one of those workshop places - I thought that was cheeky.

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NatalieJane · 22/06/2006 15:00

I do agree with the majority, she shouldn't be trying to hold a party that she can't fund, but having said that, if she hired all of the snow suits and one did get damaged, who would we then expect to foot the bill of replacing the snowsuit? If you would think that the parents of the child whose snowsuit was ruined should pay then surely they should also pay for the hire of the snow suit in the first place?

Or is it not the same sort of expense you would expect to pay when you are invited to a party that states 'bring a bottle'?

LOL I do still agree that she should be funding the party herself, but maybe these are all things that crossed her mind?

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