Christening presents or not?

[Happiestinwellybobs]

I am starting to arrange our DD's christening, and have decided to have a bit of a party afterwards, with possibly 70 or 80 friends and family (DH has a huge family).

However DD will have recently turned 2 and already has lots of toys. But I understand that guests will want to (or feel they should) buy her a gift. Is it rude of me to say something along the lines of this on the invitation. I know close family/godparents will certainly insist, but I genuinely think it is more important that everyone is there to help us celebrate this special day with her, rather than feel obliged to bring presents.

I did think that if people wanted to give something then maybe a small contribution to a local children's hospice. Or am I being stupid - shall I just let people do what they want?

[mum23girlys]

Hi in my experience (have had all 3 dds christened) people generally don't give toys as gifts at a christening. We've always found we get a ton of money banks and silver frames, possibly a small amount of clothing and some cash. However it's traditional to give silver but I've also read on here before that it's not usual to receive gifts except from parents. Maybe depends whereabouts in the country you are.

However for dd3's christening we put a line on the invite requesting that if anyone felt they would like to give a gift then would they mind donating to the local neonatal unit. We arranged the collection on the day so noone had to try and send the money themselves etc. All the guests were happy with this and said it was a lovely idea and were glad their money would utilised rather than buying something we really didn't need that collected dust or got given to charity shop.

[Gales]

I agree with mum23. It wouldn't occur to me to give toys for a christening present, it should be something to keep, which means you will get loads of naff silver trinkets, photo frames and money boxes. Bibles and prayer books if you have a religious family. I usually give a classic children's book in a nicely illustrated edition. (not sure that's really any better)

Saying you don't want presents is essential IMO (GPs etc will do anyway if they want to) Suggesting the charity donation means that people may actually do as you ask, rather than feeling that they should bring something, even though you've said not to

[Happiestinwellybobs]

Thanks for your help. Just didn't want to offend anyone. Think I will put a line on the invitation about a small donation to charity if they wish.

[sashh]

I've only bought christening presents for children who are very close to me or if I'm a god parent.

I do know someone who bought a baby gym for a baby, I just thought that was odd, like the other posters have said it should be something to keep.