Baby name finder
First of all I'm 27 and have a dp and two DD's who are 2 and 4.
We went to the in-laws for half term, we don't drive and she lives in the south, we're in Yorkshire. We got on two trains (taxi to the first train station) to get to hers, with bags, kids, pram, car seat and booster seat. It cost us £110 in train fare.
She was a nightmare from the start, but I knew she was going to be anyway. She is always right, she slags off everyone behind their back, slags off her own son to his face about his weight, very intimidating and loud, puts on a posh accent in front of people she wants to impress, is embarrassed by her own grandchildren if they're not in the appropriate 'attire', when she is drunk she insults everyone and thinks its funny, VERY judgemental. But i put up with all this with her being dp's mum, and my kids grandma.
Her husband isnt dp's dad.
Last year she insisted we go on holiday with her down south (she still lived up north then, her sister and her fam live down there). She paid. The whole hol she would be shouting at my eldest for crying telling her to shut up and even when I told her, the next day she did it again.
Anyway, this year she was acting like she was their mother! Telling them what to do,answering to them when they said 'mummy'. I didn't want a confrontation with her so I would just say 'No darling, it's ok you can [do whatever] because I'm your mummy and I say it's ok'. Which I think pissed her off!
Saturday night she had a Halloween party, and there was one other parent coming. The party started about 5pm and my two DD's and this other little girl who was about 3, were playing outside. All the adults (the majority of who didn't turn up till 8pm) were in the kitchen which directly opened onto the garden, which was TOTALLY enclosed and safe. This other parent stayed outside with her child the whole time not once coming in to speak to the other adults, so I would go out every so often to make sure the kids were ok, I could see them from where I was stood, there was two big kitchen windows and the door was open. Between 5pm and them going to bed at 9pm (they must have been outside for a total of an hour rest of time they were with me) I must have had one glass of wine so I definitely wasn't drunk.
By about 11pm almost everyone had gone, her sister and niece had left because they were fed up of her 'jokes' which were mainly about her 'fat' son and 'ginger' nephew. She also told her neice she thought it was disgusting she was trying for a baby, even tho she's 22, her partners 37 and it's got nothing to do with her! So there was me and dp, mil and fil, and mil's 20yr old nephew left. I couldnt find dp so I went upstairs to call him and overheard mil saying that this 3yr olds mum slagged me off for not coming out to check on my kids..So I went downstairs to ask mil what all that was about cos it was clearly b**cks and she turned on me saying I was unfit mother, I didn't deserve my children, i was a disgrace etc. I cannot for the life of me remember what I said back, I think I just saw red!! But her husband grabbed me (I have a huge bruise on right arm) and tried to force me back up the stairs.
By this time, dp came in so I told him what happened, I was crying, I just wanted to go home. I had called my dad (childish I know! But when I thought dp had dissappeard I didnt know what to do!), and was on the phone to him when she came up to me and smacked my phone out of my hand then slapped me across the face. Really hard I might add!! She's a big woman. Her husband and dp dragged her away and I looked for my phone but couldnt find it.
Dp ended up in a scuffle with his step dad(he really is not a violent person) and he ended up cutting fil's ear. Then we left and went to dp's aunties.
Now we are home and I have realised I have also left my digital camera there. We have been texting/calling her since sunday asking, then telling her to send it, and the phone, which must be somewhere in her living room. The camera has 300 photos on the memory card which have not been developed and my phone also has pictures on. But she wont answer!!!
Also, I just get the feeling that dp thinks its my fault. He wasnt there when she said those things and I know when it all dies down he wil act as tho its nothing. Something similar happened 18mth ago (is it me??? haha) with his best friend, he was violent with me so we cut contact and i think dp resents me for it. There are also issues within our relationship and this has just made it worse. Not that he notices. And I just think if we did ever break up he would move down there and my kids would be down there with her all the time which Im not comfortable with because she's clearly disturbed!!
I feel now like I never want her to see the kids ever again but AIBU? My DD's don't even like her as she is controlling and manipulative and they can't have fun with her. But I don't want them growing up saying I never let them see their grandparents just because she slapped me one time. Whenever she has had my kids on her own she has drank. I honestly think she has problems cos the reason she did it had nothing to do with the kids being outside (the mother of the child never said what mil said she had said), it was because she was jealous that she wasnt the centre of attention. And no one was laughing at her insulting jokes.
(Just to add, that she even thinks Katie Piper deserved to have acid thrown in her face because she went back to her boyfriend after he raped and beat her up!!!!)
I still don't know if I'm going to post this! Because writing it all down really does not sound as bad as it actually was..and you need to know my mil to know what she's really like, so I will probably get told to get over it!! But I really dont want her around my kids anymore and I just know I'm gonna fall out with dp over it, I can see it all coming but when I try to talk to him I can't get the words out properly. When she has been unreasonable before and they havent spoken for weeks and then they will just call eachother and act as tho nothings happened and I think thats what will happen now, and that's why she's not sending my things. Because she knows it keeps us (him) in contact with her. But I'm sooo angry I just want my stuff!!
Sorry I know it was long and boring but my rant is done now (I can't exactly write it all on facebook!). It's like she'll send my stuff when she's calmed down but shouldnt it be me thats 'calming down'? I feel like Im being a mug and I should be sending her nasty messages threatening her with police action etc..but I'm not like that I really dont think I need to do that, or that I even could.
Anyway, guess theres not much I could do I just wanted to get it all off my chest
)
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