Do we try for another baby or not

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, I'm in a bit of a dilema as to wether or not to have another baby. We have a gorgeous 2.5 year old who can be quite demanding at times, maybe because she has delayed speach and gets frustrated. My Husband would like another baby very much and our daughter is very outgoing and loves babies and children. Some days I feel that I would like another one and other days I don't. I worry wether I would love another baby as much as our daughter. We had treatment to have her and would need treatment again to have another one and there is only a slim chance I could get pregnant. I don't want to leave it too late as my condition is getting worse, but on the other hand don't want to regret rushing in. (Charlie and Lola makes me want another!)

[beautifulgirls]

If you are concerned about not giving enough time to your DD with her speech then please don't let that stop you. Our eldest DD (now 3y1mth) has speech issues. We also have a DD#2 who is 19 months. I was only just becoming aware of DD#1 issues when #2 was born. It has been a busy time having two, but with regard to speech and spending time I have never regretted having #2 about taking me away from #1. If your DD is anything like ours, concentration on any one thing is time limited anyway, and especially with a newborn having lots of naps in the day, you will make the best use of that sort of time with DD#1. As your next child grows up they will start to interact and do their own things and help each other along. This perhaps may be more evident with mine with the closer age gap, but there are good things about all age gaps.

With regard to "will I love the next one as much" - ABSOULTELY! Up until I met DD#2 I couldn't possibly understand how I could ever love another child as much as I loved DD#1. Once she arrived there was no problem. You will, and you will not love your first any less either. You just have that love in you already and it does not get diluted.

Good luck if you follow the TTC route - hope things go well for you.

[Monkeybar]

I'm completely with you mll. I'm getting on a bit (38) , have a 2 yo ds and he is absolutely the love of my life! We have been trying(ish) to conceive since Jan, no luck yet, although I thought I was preg in Jan and my initial reaction was 'oh, no!'
But then I love ds so much and I wonder whether a second dc would be as lovely, or would we wish we'd stuck with one. But then is it fair on ds to not have a sibling? But what if he does get a sibling and they don't get on?

[mummyloveslucy]

Thank you beautifulgirls that is very reasuring.
Monkeybar, all those what if's sound just like me. It's the thought of any disruption to our cosy little families I think. Although I am only 26 so don't have the age to concider I do have a fertility problem that is getting worse, so I guess It's the same sort of thing.
What I would say though and I know it sounds awful is the possibility of downs syndrome. I say this because my sister in law had a scare recently with her pregnancy but it turned out to be O.K but because the test is at about 4 months it ment that she couldn't have a streight forward termination, she would have had to give birth to it. I couldn't emagine what that must be like. I'm sorry to sound morbid but it is somthing to concider. (you probably already have).
Anyway, I know a lot of very happy only children, that way they can chose to have close friends of their own age rather than a younger sibling which they may or may not get on with. If only we had a crystal ball. On the other hand though you never hear of anyone regret having a nother baby, or maybe wouldn't admit it anyway. Don't feel presured at all to have another one. If it's what you want do it for yourself. Your son will be happy either way.