I could REALLY do with some advice about this.

[saltire]

DS2 yesterday said in the bath that this slightly older (by about a year) boy has been hitting him, saying to him "If you look at me again I'll punch you", then punching him. DS1 said he was ignoring it becasue "I'm scared for my face". DS1 is 9, DS2 is 7.
Anyway we told Ds2 to ingore him, if he did it again to come and tell me or DH. DS2 said this boy called him a baby if he said he was going to tell.
Fast forward to today, DS1 tells his granny - my mum - that this boy had a can of beer and gave it to DS2 and told him to drink some or he would batter him, so he did!. I am livid, mainly because neither of them told me or DH this bit about the beer, but becasue of the way he is bullying DS2. I don't know what the boy looks like, where he lives or anything and don't know how to proceed with it. They have mentioned once before about a boy having beer outside, which he steals from the garage, obviously the same child.
I don't know how to deal with it, I'm at a loss.

[MrsLynetteScavo]

Do your boys play out alot by themselves? It sounds to me as if they need closer supervision, if bullies like this are around.

[NAB3]

Clearly the first thing to do is find out who this child is. Awful situation to be in.

[SpacePuppy]

clearly this little boy is also heading for trouble, and imo someone needs to involve an authoritative figure and make sure that this does not continue. what seems like a bully is probably a little boy who does not know any better. It's sad that you have to bear the brunt of his "attacks" on you ds.

[saltire]

Lynette, I don't feel it's fair to say my children need closer supervision because there is a bully around. They play outside (the garden is tiny), with the other children,but I was really wanting some advice on how to deal with it - I don't know wether to try and see this boys parents, or what to do.

Thanks for answering though all of you

[beanstalk]

Saltire - I agree, supervising your DC would just be giving in to the bully, not a message you want to send to your child or the bully I wouldn't have thought, you and DC shouldn't have to suffer because of a bully. Do any other children know who he is, or what school he goes to, maybe the school could help? Sorry I don't have any experience to help, but just wanted to sympathise.

[PetitFilou1]

Saltire Given that this is a very young boy who is drinking beer I'd be slightly worried about approaching his parents. It might be easier to find out what school he goes to and make contact with the headteacher - in theory you can then remain anonymous.

[saltire]

He goes tot eh same school as the DSes and apparently is a known bully in the school.
DH thinks we should phone the community police offcier, but I'm not keen

[MrsLynetteScavo]

OK, your chid has been punched and forced to drink beer. You don't want to stop your children playing out unsupervised, as you feel the bully will have won You don't want to have a chat with the communitey police oficer.

Personally, in your psoition (what I know of your position) I wouldn't let my children play out unsupervised.(I don't so I've already let the kidnappers, bullies and wreakless drivers win)

Presumably this bully is still at primary school. He sounds like a very unhappy little chap to me. By having a word with the community officer, you will be alerting them not only to the danger your children are in, but also the danger this other child is most probably in.

[juuule]

At the very least I would be finding out who the bully is. I would also tell my children to avoid him. I wouldn't want them keeping company with him. I would also ask them what the other children thought of him. Ask your children's parents if they know anything about what is going on. And if I couldn't resolve anything by doing these things then, yes I would keep my children in or at least keep them where I could see them, small garden or not.

[hellish]

Where do they play outside? Can you see them from your window? Could you supervise from a distance while they play at the front? I think it's fine to let kids play out but I wouldnt want a 9 and 7 yr old to play where I couldn't see who they were with.

[christie1]

Sounds like its not a school thing so you can't involve the school. Do you know the parents at all? I find I confront the kid and speak firmly but harshly explaining the behave that I want stop and it works. Having said that, I have never dealt with bullying like this. Is the kid in your child's school? You can talk to the teacher and get their take because they often know who the bullies are and may have some ideas. My other advice is I tell my kids they need to look out for each other and if a kid is bothering their sibling they need to help them or tell you if the other sibling doesn't, make them feel they are part of a team. I do think you must act as it is beyond bullying your kids can deal with. They need your help. I like the community police officer idea. Bullies need to know you will be a problem for them if they keep it up.

[Tangas]

Well my approach would probably be the wrong approach! Personally if anyone did anything to hurt my DS I'd go mad!! First find out who this "little shit" is and Scare the living daylights outta him!!!

But lets face it you can't really be going around doing that!

I'd encorrage DS to Stand up to this bully. Once he has been confronted he should see that he is not getting anywhere, and give up!! Best to encourage your DS to have the confidence, in standing up for what he believe's is the right thing to do.
Kid's can be really nasty can't they!!
good luck x