is it o.k to have an only child?

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, My daughter is 2.5 and we have decided to try for another baby. This is not very likely though as I had to have fertility treatment for her and will have to go through it all again to have another. I can only be on the tablets for 6 months and there is only a 5% chance of concieving each month. This makes me realise how lucky we are to have lucy, but it dosn't hold much hope of another. Lucy is realy confident, and friendly and loves children and babies. I feel I'd letting her down if we couldn't give her a sibling, and also she would make a very good big sister. Does anyone think it would be worth going over the 6 months of treatment if needs bee as it would risk my health.

[DarthVader]

you will not be letting your dd down

[pointydog]

of course it's ok and you wouldn't be letting her down

[kittylouise]

I will have to read that thread...

Am mother of an only dd, she's nearly 12. Please don't think you will be letting your dd down if you don't have any more, my dd has not been disadvantaged in any way. She is very confident, outgoing and happy, and the house is always full of kids, I certainly wouldn't say she is lonely.

Don't believe all that crap that people say about spoilt only children, either.

[MaryAnnSingletomb]

yes, agree wholeheartedly with pointydog !

[DarthVader]

Have another baby for yourself if it is what you really want. Having one for your daughter is the wrong reason. There are as many benefits as disadvantages to being an only child imo.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Playdates are so much easier to organise with just one (DS was an only child till he was 5 and a bit).

[cazzybabs]

I am an only child and I am normal. I got to do loads more things than if there had been more of me!

[mummyloveslucy]

It would be for myself and my husband as much as our daughter, it's just that we are trying not to get our hopes up too much. It's good to know that there are a lot of happy only children out there. She has a baby cousin that is due on her 3rd birthday. So if she can't have her own sibling maybe they will be close. Also I think she may get a bit jellous at first as she is a bit of a drama queen, takes after her Dad.

[bubblagirl]

my dsd will be an only child not my choice my dp choice but used to really upset me but now i just think i'll have more time for him to have friends over to stay and we can do more together

i would still love anotheer child also was told couldnt have children but we did luckily and feel i should just be grateful for this opportunity and now dont mind to much we have alot of family i'll make sure he is always busy with friends so wont feel he is missing out

my dp only child he never felt he missed out maybe why he wont have more

[pigletmaker]

I am an only child and while I'm having 2 myself, I know the huge and varied benefits of growing up as one.

It was covered recently in one of the Sunday paper supplements and I would agree with all of the following:

You learn to talk with adults a lot quicker -and this is helpful socially, not a hindrance.

You can be inclined to feel like the world revolves around you, but only because you've the love and attention of two parents - and this is enormously confidence building.

You communicate well on a one to one basis and your language development is quicker.

There are other positive points, but I've forgotten them.

If YOU want another child then go for it, take the best care of yourself and see if it happens, but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out.

[MaeBee]

what with the growing global population, you could -and most of my friends do!- argue that its pretty bad to have one in the first place, but two is downright unthinkable ecologically! i think thats a bit holier than thou, but theres something to be said for it.

some people have amazing relationships with their siblings. i don't have contact with mine, mostly cos i have nothing in common with them. growing up, my brother ended up in care cos he kept physically attacking me and my little sister, and it wasn't safe for us all to be there. what im saying is, there are no guarantees that siblings enrich each others lives. mine merely endangered mine. thats fairly extreme, but siblings who have nothing to say to each other isn't.
don't feel guilty at all. breeding to create a "playmate" for a child is the weirdest thing of all i think!

[mustrunmore]

I loved being the only one. And I think it benefitted me in both material terms and level of attention my parents could give me.

I can see how my 2 boys really benefit from having each other. But I know they also miss out oon some things and situations that one child would be given more easily.

Either way, what you dont know, you dont miss.

[LazyLinePUMPKINJane]

I have an only child and have worried on several occasions if it is the right thing to do. DS has a few relatives his age and he loves playing with them. Every time I see them together I think maybe he would like a sibling.

The important thing to remember is that things could turn out very differently to how you expect. You can only have a child because you want one and if you do, everything will be okay. Your children might not get on, not just in childhood but in adulthood as well. My sister and I fought all the time as children and we have not spoken for over 8 years now.

I think that you should relax, as you obviously want the child, not just as a playmate. If it happens, be happy. If it doesn't, just know that your child will be fine.

[DrNortherner]

The great thing about having my DS is that I glory in him and the fact that I have him. Plain and simple, full stop. Whether I have any 'extra' ones or not isn't an issue, he is himself, I am his mum, DH is his Dad, and it's just perfect.

[LazyLinePUMPKINJane]

I love that quote

I agree with it too. I think something along those lines whenever I look at DS.