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would you want your really good friend to tell you that their 16yr dd had a bf,for a few months now?

23 replies

brimfull · 19/09/2007 18:58

We've alwasy told each other things about our dd's who are good friends.
My dd told me my friends dd has been going out with a boy.She's been seeing him for a few months now and still hasn't told her mum.I know this is normal behaviour and have until now not wanted to say anything incase I upset her dd.

My dd has said to xx "why don't you tell your mum?" and is answered with "I will soon".

Her dd is quite shy with adults (not with me) and very private .So in a way I don't want to invade her privacy but if it wsa my dd I'd wnat to know. What would you do?

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Cammelia · 19/09/2007 18:59

Absolutely nothing. Its none of your business.

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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:06

right-that was a bit snappy!

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whomovedmychocolate · 19/09/2007 19:07

Oh god, I read that as that the 16 year old had breastfed for a few months and was !!!!

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louii · 19/09/2007 19:08

Definately none of your business.

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whomovedmychocolate · 19/09/2007 19:09

But I'd mind my own business. Although I might say to my friend 'I'm concerned DD is going to start dating soon and how I'll handle it', she may actually reply: 'oooh yes, it is tough, my DD is seeing someone'.

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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:11

her mum definately doesn't know.
X admits she hasn't told her.

ok I agree it's none of my business.

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whomovedmychocolate · 19/09/2007 19:13

Just make sure your DD knows about contraception etc. in case she is asked for advice (and are you sure your DD doesn't also have a bf you don't know about?)

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Cammelia · 19/09/2007 19:18

Sorry to sound snappy ggirl, wasn't intentional. I feel very strongly that an unrelated 16 year old girl should have her privacy. The information isn't yours to deal with iyswim.

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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:18

yes pretty sure my dd doesn't yet,but there's always room for error.

I'm not judging my friend because she doesn;t know,I just know she's want to kow.She has asked me to tell her if I find out ,but it feels wrong to me now.So I am relenting on a promise to my frined ,but really I am doing the right thing ...aren't I?

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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:19

camelia-what if I knew she was taking drugs though?

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Cammelia · 19/09/2007 19:20

Don't change the subject

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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:22

I know ,naughty= of me,but these things do crop up.

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tigermoth · 19/09/2007 19:24

I think you should let it lie, unless you have real worries.

You could start a conversation with your friend about daughters and boyfriends, just to give her the opportunity to tell you anything if it is on her mind. Perhaps she already suspects or even knows that her dd is seeing someone?

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ProjectIcarusinhercar · 19/09/2007 19:24
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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:30

I know my friend doesn't know,we are very close.

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Cammelia · 19/09/2007 19:31

Ok, would you expect her to tell you should the situation be reversed?

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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:32

yup

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Cammelia · 19/09/2007 19:33

Then there's your answer.

I just have a bit of a problem with the fact that the person is 16.

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FioFio · 19/09/2007 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:35

my dd is still 15,does thta make it any better ?

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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:35

I am not fussing!

Just asking.

I have decided not to say anything.

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Cammelia · 19/09/2007 19:37

Its one of those moral dilemmas ggirl, there probably isn't a right answer

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brimfull · 19/09/2007 19:47

yes you're right.thanks for your help everyone.

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