Is there an award for DS for Worst Child of the Week?

[Jennifer8]

Ok, Ds1 is 4 and just started school. I was looking forward to having a free couple of days to spend with him. So far this weekend, he has:

Run up the road, trouserless, muttering something about going to Grandma's, with the keys, while I was on the phone, only to be returned by an arrogant undeergraduate who entered my house shouting that he had found this child in the street half naked and implying with scathing looks that I was a failing parent. Twice. (Different student)

Done SOMEthing to the baby to cause it to emit a shriek while I was in the kitchen, which was then strenuously denied...

Walked into town with me, and insisted on opening and closing Every rabbit hutch outside the pet shop several times. They already had to escort him back to another shop when he ran off last week so they know him...

On the way home from town, climbed the woody bank instead of coming with me, saying he'd 'meet me at the end' and then disappeared only to be found ten minutes later after I'd waited, walked round said woody bank, through a field and back and finally up to the road, holding some gullible woman's hand as he leads her back to our house, while I'm shouting like a hysterical loon from across the road.
Apparently he had been wandering around near, or in, said road...(I was holding pram and infant thus the lack of superhuman sprinting abilities throughout this episode)

Having found half an old computer printer he has had his eye on for months and always been denied due to it being amidst undergrowth in an inaccessible place on this woody bank, plus other numerous reasons, and somehow smuggled it home, proceeded to cover the floor, himself and everything in sight with potentially lethal black powder from within it.

Was confiscated on grounds of safety and placed in wheely bin.

Ds climbed on a plastic bucket to re-obtain said printer part and bring it in the hosue again, to worse blackening of everything in sight.

Oh and then....then, he did a poo on the carpet.


Does he win? Or does he need to try harder? I am SO glad he is going back on Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DynamicNanny]

He definitley deserves a prize as do you

[beautifulgirls]

Sorry to be a bit unsympathetic but it sounds to me like you need to supervise your child more and start a better disciplie routine to the one that is obviously failing. He does sound like a wee monster though so good luck!

[Peachy]

Well he doesn't win but I am tooa shamed tor epeat what ds1 did 9and it was at school so I couldn't have done anything to rpevent it)

but have to say- yes the supervision does sound lax, if he's bolting you lock the doors; once is an accident, twice is negligence

An dhow the Hell do you smuggle a printer home?????

[Jennifer8]

Sorry.

I chased him the second time (was still on phone - hung up) and got him back and locked up and put keys on a high up hook.

It was only part of a printer...

I think he is knackered after first week at school, jealous of new baby, and I am very sleepless and not really with it because of said new baby.

Also I'm on my own and parents were away last week which didn't help...they live nearby and usually help out.

Will now try to figure out how to make my parenting more effective...oh dear.

[Jennifer8]

Today has been a bit better...

[Jennifer8]

Anyone got any suggestions?

I try really hard to keep him in sight but he is just so...fast!

[Peachy]

Well, ds3 is Sn I know, same age as yours, but I use reins (a backpack and less obvious- from Argos) and a good door lock- if he's going to bolt potentially under a car, its by far the less worse option

[chipmonkey]

I sympathise. Ds1 and ds2 were fine but ds3 before the age of 1 year twice escaped out of the house and was crawling up the road and was captured both times by the same neighbour who must now think we are totally imcompetent parents. He is now 2 and can unstrap himself from the carseat and the buggy. Am contemplating a cage......

[kindersurprise]

Poor you, you do sound a bit exhausted.

We went through a phase of DS escaping, although he was a bit younger than yours. We still have to lock the doors though. Once I put him down for a nap and forgot to lock the doors. I was not well so had a lie down too and when I woke up he was gone. Slight panic till I saw his bike infront of my friends house. (3 doors down in a cul de sac). She said he had arrived an hour earlier, in his tshirt and nappy.

I agree with Peachy on the rains, we never use them because we live in Germany and they are seriously frowned on here. DS HAS to take my hand when walking along a busy road and when in the town.

He is getting better though. Good luck with your houndini boy!

[Amethyst8]

Jennifer8 I feel for you I really do and having read further of your situation don t think it is criticism you need at the moment.

I have a 4 year old also and the things I find really works to stop him running off is:

a: a Mini scooter - know this sounds like it would add to your problems but bear with me. Scooter for DS is a priviledge and he LOVES it. Any time he gets too far ahead. I warn him that it will be taken off him and put on the buggy. When he does it again it is taken off and put on the buggy. No arguments, no giving in, thats it....

after that:

b. Also warn him that if he performs in any way when we are out then we will go straight home and we do. No matter where we are going or where we are. Any tantrums or misbehaviour and we leave. This applies to school, the park, McDonalds - anywhere. We have had to take him home twice and now he pipes down immediately if we say we are taking him home. You may have to put up with terrible screams and tantrums when you do it but get a thick skin and ignore the disapproving looks and just do it. You will only need to do it a couple of times I promise.

As for getting out of the house. Lock the door. .

[Heathcliffscathy]

nice post beautifuleyes....NOT

[kindersurprise]

Oh, yes I agree with Amethyst in regard to threatening to go home. You really have to be sure that you can carry this one through though.

I don't use it when my DD is with us because it is not fair on her if we go home when DS is misbehaving.

[Jennifer8]

Thanks so much for all your support

I was maybe thinking it ought to be 'worst mother of the week' award!

I think he is worse when he thinks I'm not 'with it'. I tend to spend a lot of the time in a sleepless daze at the moment and some days he knows I'm busy or preoccupied or just not very smart, so he will play up to the max to try and get me to be 'proper mummy' again. Poor little mite.

If I get my act together and feel 'on the case' he responds beautifully. It is a hard time for him, I think he is struggling a little bit with me being at home with infant while he is sent off to school every morning.

Not fair really!
The going home thing sounds very effective, I have done it a couple of times - well, threatened to - but he protests immediately and usually will sort himself out as well as he can, if he knows it might happen.

It's so strange having a baby as well as this hulking great 4 year old who seems to think he can conquer the world. He has huge bravado but sadly not so much common sense
I think partly the wanderlust is due to feeling like he isn't really being watched or engaged with enough, because I'm usually tied up with Ds2's rrequirements and can't do anything about that.

However am trying to make time for Ds1 when tiny boy is asleep. I think that will help.

Will investigate scooters! Brill idea!

and cage

[KumquatMaye]

Hi Jennifer8! Really felt compelled to post having read your message. You are coping with a new baby and a boisterous 4 year old!!!! OMG! Don't beat yourself up. Am at beautifulgirls for her award-winningly unkind post. Maybe she has never been there?

I have a 5 year old ds very loud and boisterous like yours, and a new babes who is now 6 months. I just wanted to say I do really get how hard this is. I found the school run a lot easier with a mini scooter, and they are great as a carrot rather than a stick. Like you say, spend time with him when you can, I am sure it is just a call for your attention which bless you, you can't really give like before the baby. Sometimes I let ds stay up after dd's bedtime and we do something low key like cuddle and watch Monsters Inc! That way it is OK I am knackered, don't have to organise anything much apart from popcorn, and DS feels like he is getting some Mummy time.

You will get through this stage and it does get better really rapidly, your ds will adapt.

Good luck Jen and keep posting. xxxx

[KumquatMaye]

Forgot to send a hug as well {{{{}}}}}}}

[KumquatMaye]

Oh! And Peachy, how is op to steer her buggy and hold reins????Hmm??? Her problum is precisely that - he 4yo is at school and she has a newborn in a pram??!?!?!? Guh.

[InMyHumbleOpinion]

I have LOLed to think.

Because sometimes, I coul.d have written it!

Aren't four year old boys wonderful?

[InMyHumbleOpinion]

beautifulgirls is given away by her nickname, which explains her not understanding what boys can be like. They Are Different, and some are more Different than others. You have my utter empathy.

[HonoriaGlossop]

IMHO, I so agree with you - some are more different than others, it's so true

Hope you're having a peaceful day jennifer. I think you're dead right actually and that his antics are to do with getting your attention. Until this phase is past I so agree with reins, locks on doors that are at the TOP so he can't possibly reach, etc etc etc. Of course supervision is important but with a tiny baby you're not as well placed as you were to bolt after him when he's decided to be off. So locks, bolts, stuff like that = good stuff.

[Jennifer8]

Oh dear (wipes away a tear) and to think I was close to leaving MN the other day!

This is what it's all about. You ladies are wonderful.

I agree that boys are a bit, well different, and most of my RL friends with some of each agree too...though there are always exceptions of course, I'm sure!

I'm sure BG didn't mean to be unkind, and Peachy is suffering at the mo so

And they have good points to make. It's mainly down to my parenting I think, circumstances aren't ideal, we're struggling a bit but I hope once this phase has passed things will get a bit smoother for us all again.

Thanks sooooo much, all of you. I feel better just ranting about it, whatever the reaction/opinions. Thankyou

(wanders off to deposit baby in swing and clear up banana-related 'mixture' someone else has got all over everything)

[beautifulgirls]

It wasn't meant in an unkind way and I'm sorry to those who take it as that. What it is saying is that this little boy is obviously a handful and a different approach to handling his behaviour is required.

No I don't have boys, yes I have a child who is a major handful. Currently she is doing time out in her cot and I now need to go get her down and work on the next bit of the day without a tantrum. I'm far from a perfect mum and likewise my kids are not angels.

[maisemor]

Sorry to disagree, it is not just boys who misbehave by running away and hiding from their parents.

My son has never done it.
My daughter on the other hand started running away from me when she was a little over a year old.

We did the "if you don't stop running away, stop when we tell you to stop, then you are just going to have to hold our hands/hold on to the buggy when we are out" which really helped.

[Jennifer8]

Maisemor sounds like you have your hands full as well!

[mrsgboring]

Complete newbie here - this is my first post

I don't have two, just DS but I have used a sling since he was 8 weeks old (now 22 months) and wondered if you might find it easier to wrangle the older boy with baby in a sling, rather than a pram.

A good wrap style sling such as a Kari-Me is great for a newborn and very supportive - means you would be able to weave in and out of trees retrieving DS if necessary.

{{{ hugs }}} to you; it sounds like you're having a very tough time and DS is a big handful.

[flyingmum]

I do dimly (very low wattage in the brain) remember that son 1 had a phase of running off when he was around 4ish. I found the baby reins and took them wherever I went and made sure he could see them. Then at the slightest hint of legging it I just jangled them at him. Didn't seem to need them for son number 2. It seemed to work.

I found them the other day - in my knicker drawer - how weird is that .