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Promised myself I wouldnt feel like this but

8 replies

RIH · 07/09/2007 10:52

Here I am, the new mum at school (only one in yr) and feeling like a 6yr old. Why am I so scared? Who cares if nobody acknowledges me? Who cares that I cant find my way around? Huge rambling grounds so lots of hiding places whilst I wait for LO to come out and therefore lots of parents all over the place, this in itself makes it very difficult to stand close by and be included?? Why do they all seem taller, thinner and better spoken than moi? Oh god I have some hangups, I just want to be included please, no I dont, I just want the ground to swallow me up so I dont have to deal with this. They have all been there for years.

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LilianGish · 07/09/2007 10:58

Sympathies RIH - my kids are at a French school here in Berlin - I rememember my first day - didn't even know which language they might speak - I really was the odd one out. I think you just have to get a big smile on your face, be brave and say hello - if you need a bit of small talk ask them which class their dc is in or some other chool related question. You won't feel like this in a couple of weeks - how are your dcs getting on?

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RIH · 07/09/2007 11:07

Its a big school and all the parents are hanging out in groups so I cant just go over and but in, cant even hazard a guess what yr their DCs are in. This is scarey. I feel like I must have scared and uncomfortable written all over my face and so no one will ever approach me.

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LilianGish · 07/09/2007 11:10

That's why you have to fix a big smile on your face (easier said than done I know if you are feeling shy). How old are your children - is it a primaary school?

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RIH · 07/09/2007 11:17

Its a combined infant and junior school> How can I stand by myself with a big smile on my face, wouldn't I just look silly? They are all caught up in their chats to even notice me.

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stealthsquiggle · 07/09/2007 11:21

RIH sneaky observation is required to work out which ones have children in the same year as your DC - then you drift up closer to that group so that when the DC are 'released' they work out which one belongs to you then you smile at anyone who glances your way and hope for the best.

Horrible, isn't it? and I am so bad at remembering faces that it took me at least a term to work out which child belonged to which parent!

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Kaz33 · 07/09/2007 11:22

Get the class list, go through it with your child and then start a campaign of inviting other children over for playdates.

Every parent loves their child being popular, slowly you will get to know the other parents and slowly you will be included.

It's tough being a new parent even if the whole class is new, must be even harder when your child is the only one

Is there a class rep? Have they introducted themselves?

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Kaz33 · 07/09/2007 11:23

Or join the PTA and volunteer - I made loads of good friends that way in classes all over the school.

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RIH · 07/09/2007 11:27

Kaz33, yes the class list and class rep things are a good idea, I'll see if I can find something out. The sch is so massive I dont even know where anything is, this only adds to my frustration. Observation is another good idea SS, its just so hard but I know I have to try.

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