Calling all parents of 11 year olds - advice please?

[SuperMonkey]

DSD has moved in with us over the summer and will be joining year 7 at our local secondary school in a couple of weeks.

Now, obviously we want her to fit in with her contemporaries as best we can as she will know nobody at her new school.

Being new to hands-on parenting of an 11 year old, I would be grateful for a bit of advice:

1. What time do your kids go to bed (a) on school nights and (b) at weekends?
   
   
2. How much pocket money do you give them?
   
   
3. Are there any other boundaries that we are likely to come across that I should know about?
   
   Ta very much.

[maureenmlove]

1. What time do your kids go to bed (a) on school nights and (b) at weekends?

a) 8.30, 9 lights out b) 9 - 10

2. How much pocket money do you give them?
£20 per calendar month (with lots of chores!)

3. Are there any other boundaries that we are likely to come across that I should know about?

Not sure on that one! It might be a case of asking the question, when a problem comes along!

[SuperMonkey]

Good, that's kinda what I thought. Thanks.

[MrsMuddle]

Bedtime is the same as maureenmlove, but mine only gets £10 a week. Other boundaries? Perhaps PC / console time? I limit it to an hour a day. Good luck.

[MrsMuddle]

£10 a month!

[Tigi]

1a - 8.30
1b -10pm
2.none from me, as won't pick clothes up off floor/make bed/ pick up sweet wrappers etc, I do buy him sweets, books and comics etc. £5 month off gran.
3 - boundaries - take phone when he goes out.

[miffys]

School night 8.30 weekend 10 pocket money £2 a week I already buy choc bars and sweets.
Always tell them that if they are late for any reason to ring you, so make sure they take their phone and all home work to be done when they come home so as to have the rest of the evening free. If they are too ill to goto school then they are too ill to go out with their friends after school.

[Berries]

Bedtime as the rest. Pocket money £5 per week, but she has to buy all 'extras' with that - pony mags etc. Bought her own jodphurs yesterday as she has a perfectly good pair but wanted a different colour.

Boundaries - has tv limits as she would watch all day otherwise. Has to do chores - empty dishwasher, lay & clear table for tea, generally muck in if we need to do quick clear up etc. Privacy - we always knock before entering bedroom, but at this age she is not allowed to forbid us entry to the bedroom so it's more of a courtesy than a request to enter thing.

Periodic bouts of bolshiness dealt with by sending to room until she is reasonable again. Don't discount the anxiety the change to high school will cause, even if she maintains that she's cool about it.

Anyway, it's a lovely age, as they've not quite got to the teenager bit yet, but they're old enough to go out & have fun with - enjoy.

[Tigi]

Too many late nights on a row cause such a grumpy mood - get 'em into bed early now and again!

[SuperMonkey]

Thanks all, much appreciated.

Berries - She is being incredibly brave about starting her new school - went to the intake disco on her own and got talking to some girls, not sure I'd do that now and I'm 35! I changed school quite a few times and I always found it quite traumatic.

[pointydog]

1. What time do your kids go to bed (a) on school nights and (b) at weekends?

a) 8.30 (sometimes slips and expect to hear lots of tales about how much later others go to bed).

b) 9-10

2. How much pocket money do you give them?

We are erratic with pocket money but recently agreed to give 11 yr old £10 a month as she has an expensive hobby and likes to go downtown with her pal for lunch on a Friday.

3. Are there any other boundaries that we are likely to come across that I should know about?

Children start to get a lot more freedom at this age (eg going downtown, to the pool etc alone). 11 yr olds can fib a lot and exaggerate a lot as to what's happening.

My 11 yr old is starting to sleep in quite a bit more, can be very moody (they don't mean it) and rather cheeky (don't mean it either - well, that's what I tell myself).

[pointydog]

ah berries, my dd's expensive hobby is horse riding too

[hennipenni]

my DD is a year older at 12yrs.

1. What time do your kids go to bed (a) on school nights and (b) at weekends?
   
   a) 9pm b)9pm but is allowed to watch a dvd in her room.
   
   
2. How much pocket money do you give them?
   
   £8 per month but we also pay £36/month for music lessons.
   
   
3. Are there any other boundaries that we are likely to come across that I should know about?
   
   Has to take her phone where ever she goes. As we pay so much for her music lessons and her exams/books etc she is expected to help aroun the house doing little jobs aswell as tidying her room.
   
   Ta very much.

[MrsWeasley]

my DD is 12.

1. a) between 8.30-9.00 (although she tries to string it out later) She does read in bed.
   b) try to stick to 9 pm unless we are out anywhere which is rare.
   
   
2. 0 She doesnt need any but I do give her the occassional bit of money if she is going out anywhere (again rare)
   
   Boundaries: no excessive phone use (esp mobile) must tell us where she is and who with, homework comes before tv,

[maureenmlove]

I just thought of a boundry! Yes, she has to take her phone out with her, but then, what 11 year old would be seen dead without it! It must have credit on it and be charged!! No charge or no credit = no going out! (She pays for her own credit out of her £20 a month.)