(sigh) fed up of bitchy comments...what to do?

[becaroo]

My friend and I have ds's the same age. We met at parentcraft classes and have kept in touch ever since...our ds's play together and go to the same pre school.

I have had concerns before now with her copying me and the things I do (hair style and colour, new car, house extension etc etc) but recently she has been making some (I feel) quite bitchy comments and I am wondering what to do...i.e. should I say something or just ignore it as I have been?

As I say, there have been several comments lately but this morning I was asked to help out at my ds sports day - no problem - and then later, when we went to pick them up, I was asked if I would like to help out next term when they take the class to the xmas panto.
I said "yes, no problem" and then my friend turned to the teacher and said
"I would rather not as I want my ds to get used to going to these sorts of things without me" and gave me a very pointed look.
I felt about 2 inches tall!

Am I overreacting? Or is she being a bitch?

hmmmm...........

[JoMa]

was she juust trying to cover her embarrasment at the teacher not asking her? sounds like she's jealous of you

[meandmyflyingmachine]

I think it's only the pointed look that made this anything other than a different opinion surely?

Are you being paranoid?

[HedTwigg]

she's a bit of an idiot isn't she

its not like a nursery child needs to get used to doing things without you

and if the school doesn't have volunteers to help on trips then the kids can't go

I don't think you are overreacting .. it would most probably piss me orf

[krispie]

if this isnt the first loaded comment then i would trust your instincts and say that she has some 'issues' (probably jealousy)

The difficulty is, they arent the types of comments that are directly 'bitchy enough' for you to say 'oi, what does that mean?' so very difficult to know how to approach it.

IMHO i couldnt be bothered to have a friend like this in my life. She sounds draining and negative. I would attempt to spend as little time as possible with her. You can still have her ds to play for tea etc just limit your time with her iykwim?

[becaroo]

That is the problem, I do not want my negative feelings about her to in any way damage my ds relationship with her ds (who is a lovely boy)

I am not very good at confrontation and, to be honest, if I was going to say something, I perhaps should have done it sooner.

Told her last week that I was going to start looking for a job as ds start school in January and... guess whos looking now too?

[krispie]

annoying!

[RosaLuxembourg]

You say, with an extra-sweet smile. 'Yes, it is a problem when they are very insecure and clingy, isn't it? Luckily DS has always been very secure.'

[summerunderakaftan]

I like Rosas answer actually

I have a friend a bit like this and it is not that she is particularly a bitch I honestly think if I recirded her and played her back sometimes she would be mortified.

We do have VERY different views on bringing up children and she is the sort that wouldn't want to go on these trips for that reason and say so and probably would have the look too but I know her well enough to know that it is mainly because she is probably a bit jealous that my dd is a lot better behaved and wouldn't play up on a trip I was on and that she doesn't understand how I can actually enjoy doing these things with the children when she finds it dull.

This friend is forever competing/copying too and I am flattered TBH I try to let it go over my head. Don't get me wrong there has been times I have been so pissed off that I have said something but we have a moan at each other then it's over with.