saying no ...

[nappyaddict]

after reading the parenting protocols thread can someone tell me why i am not supposed to say this to my ds again?

seems bonkers to me.

[Tortington]

dont listen to the fuckin hippies. ffs.

[MamaGryffindor]

arse

[MamaGryffindor]

(custy don't you mean KMAYFH)

[moondog]

???
Who said this?

[Tortington]

PMSL mamaG

yay KMAH

[EscapeFrom]

well it depends on whether you enjoy 3 hour convoluted converstations with a 3.6 year old, of which he only understands 10% anyway.

Do say no. You can bet your bottom doughnut his teacher will say no as and when he/she needs to, and if he has never heard it before, it will traumatise him.

[suzycreamcheese]

oh will have to see that thread

vital verbal tool i have found

[Tortington]

...becuase no -one will ever say 'no' when they grow up

[AbRoller]

Why can't we say no? Can anyone link please

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Because instead of saying "no" you can find out common preferences. Something like that

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

By common I think i mean mutual.

[Tortington]

what a load of arse
hippies!

[controlfreakyflitwick]

oh ffs.

[AbRoller]

Tis too late, I don't understand or care really. I'm not debating EVERYTHING with a child, thats just....well, silly IMO

[Tortington]

rhubarb never says ..shhhh that word to her children

[LoveAngel]

What is wrong with saying 'No' to a child? And are these the same person that think calling your child 'naughty' will do them serious anmd long term emotional damage?

[BandofMuggles]

Even if I say NO I still get a debate from DD1
There is a reason why one of children's first words is usually NO

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

I can see the point of avoiding "no" on some occasions, e.g. when you get stuck on the word and either party throws a tantrum standing their ground over it. In such cases it is useful to have another tactic to avoid trouble and direct attention away. However, if used like this it's just another way of manipulating your young child, distracting his attention because you're bigger and cleverer and know how to do it. So ultimately I don't think it's better ethically than a plain "no". (I haven't read the thread this relates to, so may be in a totally different context.)

[stealthsquiggle]

My DM was desperately biting her tongue not to draw comparisons between my DC (who definitely have "no" said to them) and their cousin who doesn't the other day - suffice to say the comparison would not have been in DNiece's favour

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

I'd find it very hard to raise a child without "no" because I use "no" when I speak to DH and other people and it would just come out of my mouth. To refrain from using it with a child would make my approach very artificial and I'd have to guard every single word that comes out of my mouth. Doesn't leave room for spontaneity or exasperation. Also, some things are just yes/no situations and I think children can cope with that.