Dear Mumsnet, I hope you don't mind a non-parent joining in, but I would really welcome your advice.
My DH & I are trying to decide whether to have a child (assuming for the moment that we are able to conceive). I have a lot of doubts - my own mother was often unhappy & I was acutely conscious of that as a child. I am sure I would love a child but I know from my own childhood that love is not enough to make a child happy. My mother did her absolute best but a lot of her resentment & frustation showed through & deeply affected my siblings & me (though I am definitely not saying that this was her fault).
I am someone who really values her freedom & independence. I am terrified that I would resent my child and end up repeating the pattern of my own childhood. My DH also had a difficult upbringing & has similar concerns.
It's very difficult to talk to friends about this and I would welcome people's honest opinions. Do you think that someone like me, who has so many doubts, is better off not becoming a parent? Are there mums out there who felt the same as me but who went on to have kids? If so, what is your advice?
Many thanks
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Should I have a child? Advice please
16 replies
jybay · 13/07/2007 16:19
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