What's the worst thing a random stranger has said about your DCs?

[mamadoc]

My DD 3 months is a small person weighed 5lb 4 at birth and steadfastly growing along 0.4th centile since. We have a lot of conversations with interfering old biddies on buses like this:

IOB: Ahh what a tiny baby how old is she?
me: 3 months
IOB: Gosh really she's very small
me Uh huh

but yesterday someone went one further

IOB: Did you smoke in your pregnancy?
me: speechless at the rudeness.

How I wish I had said not unless you count the crack!

[compo]

[GreengottsTheGoblinBank]

It would have to be one of the many ignorant and abhorrent remarks made about my ds2's birthmark when it was a lot bigger than it is now. Choice remarks include: "Oooh, look what she's done to that child, it's wicked what some mothers will do", or "Bloody hell, he looks like he's been hit by a train", or "What did you do then? Did you give him a thump?" or possibly "He looks like you've thrown boiling water over him"

[slinkyjo]

i got asked if i had beaten my dd once as she had a blackeye from falling off a bunkbed, how i refrained from giving the nosey old fool a blackeye myself i will never know

[mamadoc]

Actually those are much worse but I am glad I'm not alone. Was beginning to think we were on some kind of busybody watch list!

[mm22bys]

I was at the beach recently, when DS2 was about 7 months old, and a stranger asked how old he was. I told him and he said that he looked like he was 3 or 4 months old.

Lots of people have commented on his small size. I wish people would learn to stop being so insensitive! I don't like that he's so small, if I could change it I would!

It makes me feel like a rubbish mother....

[mm22bys]

I was at the beach recently, when DS2 was about 7 months old, and a stranger asked how old he was. I told him and he said that he looked like he was 3 or 4 months old.

Lots of people have commented on his small size. I wish people would learn to stop being so insensitive! I don't like that he's so small, if I could change it I would!

It makes me feel like a rubbish mother....

[EscapeFrom]

"Why is he retarded?"

[itwasntme]

"Oooh look at that little girl's suntan... makes you sick dunnit?...."

(DD is mixed race)

[Sixer]

Gosh he's tall, what do you feed him? WTF

[ApuNahasapeemapetilon]

that i had made my ds bow legged by forcing him to walk too soon

[hippmummy]

Not even a random stranger, but MIL said, after doing DS1's astrology chart (when he was a day old), that he wouldn't be academically bright and would struggle at school

[LoveAngel]

mainly dumb comments about my (mixed race) son's complexion and hair (made by both black and white people)

Black people:
'He's so white for a mixed race child' (said in a negative way, with a bitchy laugh)
'He's got such good hair' (ie. not tight afro)
'Its great he's so fair isn't it?'

White people:
'He doesn't look half black at all'
'He's got lovely hair, you're lucky it never came out afro'
'If he didn't have a 'black' name, I wouldn't have thought he was mixed' (WTF?)
'He doesn't look like he's yours'


By all:

'He looks Turkish/Italian/Spanish/Brazilian etc etc' (ie. anything other than half white half black)

Truly, you have to have a mixed race child / be mixed race yourself to believe how stupifyingly ignorant some people can be.

[meandmyflyingmachine]

Someone commiserated with me on my daughter's 'deformity' - she has a slightly flat head. And then asked if it was the cause of her speech delay.

[bagsundereyes]

Get the opposite here, Mama Doc:

Random Stranger in GP surgery "aaah, how old is she?"
Me "4 months"
Random stranger "but she's enormous! She shouldn't be that big until at least 6 months"

....pause while Random Stranger sucks teeth in disapproving manner and eyes dd up and down....

Do people want me to stop feeding her or something?

[mamadoc]

mm22- I too am sensitive about my small baby and when someone comments I always suspect they think I don't feed her/ look after her properly. The smoking comment has just confirmed it for me.

But then again bags and sixer it seems you can't win either way!

[meandmyflyingmachine]

Gosh I have huge children and it seems perfectly reasonable that people comment on it. They are enormous.

"Gosh he's tall, what do you feed him?" sounds exactly like the sort of thing I might say myself. I really don't see how it is rude.

[RainbowWalker]

I once had to drop an urgent cheque off at a community centre office and had my four children (all under 6) in my car with me.
A 30 second trip or so I thought so I didn't want to have to get the twins out, strap them into the double buggy and thn make the older two walk the short distance to the desk.

I drove around and around until I could get the parking space exactly out the front so that my car would be in sight from inside. I locked it, ran inside to drop off the envelope and was all set to leave immediately when the woman insisted on handwriting me a receipt!

I told her I didn't have time to stop because my children were in the car (still within view) but she insisted so I waited.

As I got back to the car after about 2 minutes a woman was stood beside my car tutting and shaking her head because one of the babies had started to cry inside the car.

"People like you shouldn't have children" she grumbled.

Already feeling guilty, that woman made me cry for days!

[UniSarah]

the scene- in a cafe with friend and our 2 DSs, B is blond, sat in a high chair and very happy coz hes just had a biscuit. and 9m/o K is dark 20m/o has a cold and is tired, his mum is wrestling him into his buggy, he would rather be still eating biscuits.
Random eldery lady having been smiled at B while K is objecting to getting back in his buggy says " you can see hes the bright one" pointing to Boy.
Friend fortunatly has a sence of humour and the grace not to reply.

[Reallytired]

My son used to walk on tiptoes because of problems with his tendons. Even the physio was unable to bend his foot into a normal position. He found it really hard to walk.

We used to have strangers comment that my son should take up ballet and some stupid git at church used to call him twinkle toes.

Did they not understand that my son had orthopedic problems and could understand every word they said. Thankfully his feet are much better, but it was a HORRID, HORRID time!

[PersonalClown]

'You know, they used to lock them away in the old days'
Said to me by some tutting old bat while ds was having a meltdown.
Also, 'You baby him, he'll never get out of nappies now'
'Is he retarded?'
And many more just because ds is autistic.

[christie1]

My beautiful big girl who is still a toddler with baby fat and someone said "oh, well, big is beautful isn't it?" I could have said, oh yea well take your scrawny chicken boned child stuff it, but I just smiled.

[Miaou]

Not said to me, but to someone whose child had albinism (was an albino - slightly less pc way of putting it), "she's a devil's child, you know"

[Acinonyx]

DD was a very big plump baby - I was pretty worried myself but what exactly can you do with a bf baby? I got a lot of comments about what I must be eating. One friend who has a very faddy diet said she was big due to the steroids in the dairy produce. TWO other friends said it might be a genetic problem due to being an IVF baby.

LoveAngel - I'm mixed race but look more white and I'm so sick of the stupid comments - by black and white alike.

[Beauregard]

meandmyflyingmachine-I agree with Sixer it is very rude to comment like that,has been said to me as a child and now to my dd's.

[Quattrocento]

Please would you control your daughter?



Was when for some reason she thought it would be funny to sit on a table with a friend for lunch instead of joining the rest of us at ours. DH allowed it so I couldn't gainsay. She then proceeded to take a large wooden spoon and poke the occupants of the next table with it.

Awful horrible unspeakable devil child.