Two kids...sharing the love

[SurferRosa]

I feel like there isn't enough to go round. Of course I love them both but the young one is 4 weeks old and takes most of my attention...I'm finding it really hard to cope with my older one, who is four and a human tornado.
It seems like I'm shouting at him or telling him 'No' every few minutes. It isn't fair and when I catch myself thinking that really I don't like him very much at the moment, I feel so useless and like a failed human being, let alone parent.

Maybe I just have nothing left to give...lack of sleep has me thinking I've left the baby somewhere else in the house, until I look down and realise he's on my breast.

I'm happy and I don't think I'm depressed, but so worried for DS1's self esteem.

I fell asleep the other night before DS1, to wake up a few minutes later, baby on the floor and DS1 saying he pushed him off the bed. I think I screamed till I realised it hadn't been my own negligence. well not directly, anyway...

[SurferRosa]

Basically I'm in a daze most of the time. Tell me this is fairly normal???

Please?

[emkana]

Give yourself a break, it's early days and what/how you are feeling is entirely normal IME. I was not the best of mothers to my dd1 when dd2 was born, and to both my dd's when ds was born. But things do get better and easier in time. Hang in there.

[EllieG]

There's a thread in the depressed topic bit that seems to have lots of themes in common with you - so you're not alone I guess
Will try and put a link in, hang on

[EllieG]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2100&threadid=353586&stamp=070710232828

Don't know if that works

[Lulurose]

Sounds completely normal, when dd2 arrived my dd1 was only 15months and I spent the first six months totally shell shocked! If you have got friends and family close by share the burden so you can have some time alone and time with each child individually. I am sure your older child will soon be doting on the little one, especially once they're sitting up, babbling etc..

It is lovely having two, it sounds like you're doing a great job

[SurferRosa]

Ellie, thanks for that - at least there isn't a frog under a washing up bowl to worry about!!!

Nice to know I'm normal...well as far as anyone is I suppose.

[singingmum]

Try getting your ds1 involved more with your dd2.My mum told me that my baby bro(I was 2 when he was born)was my baby as well.I used to feel very important helping with him and it gave me a lot of confidence.
I used this method with my ds when dd born and he didn't feel left out.Just give him small jobs at first like getting the wetwipes etc.then progress to him changing a wet nappy with your help.It does work and should make you feel a bit better as well as him.
Also think about the fact that when he's old enough to be a dad you will have a son that knows what to do with his dc's and make his partner v.happy

[EllieG]

Yes, you can always find little things to be thankful for, even if it's just the absence of frogs.
Best of luck you, for what it's worth, I think you sound like a lovely and caring Mum