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Should I go from 2 to 3..am I mad?

62 replies

iliketrees · 28/06/2007 21:02

Got two children, dd 4.5 and ds 2.5, and keep thinking about having another. Always wanted three but pregnancies are high rish and early babyhood are nightmarish for us (both babies had awful sleep first couple of years). It would be easy to say forget it and not go for a third but I think I would regret it later. We are just leaving the hard years of feeding and nappies (me thinking naively of course!)and I am getting back into work etc but I can't let it go. It's not just being broody..I want this for my children as much as for me. three is good - isn't it?? Need some encouragement please...

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cba · 28/06/2007 21:04

I have three, ds1 6 ds24 and dd2. Three is great but alot of work. Never a minutes rest and always have to be organised. But it is great and would even have another.

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popsycal · 28/06/2007 21:04

ditto the op

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babyblue2 · 28/06/2007 21:05

Sorry but i think you'd be barking! Just my opinion though.

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auntymandy · 28/06/2007 21:05

I wont respond as no 6 is 2 weeks old..not the best person to ask!!!!

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babyblue2 · 28/06/2007 21:06

6.... bloody hell!

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SueBaroo · 28/06/2007 21:11

three is brill (and four is fun too!)

I have nightmare pregnancies (the last one has quite literally crippled me) BUT I wouldn't trade the difficulty for less children.

I think you're mad, but I'm mad too, and I've never much regretted it.

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LilyLoo · 28/06/2007 21:18

i 13 weeks now with no.3 ds 5 dd 2. For all the reasons you said. Just had scan today and it was lovely and ds is so excited, thought about it for quite a while but am now so glad we have. Can't answer what it's like though for a while yet

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milkymill · 28/06/2007 21:19

I feel exactly the same way. Dh say's no way to third and tbh i don't see how i'd cope with the whole newborn baby,sleepless nights again etc....but, i just feel as though 2 isn't my complete family picture somehow (i know what you mean about wanting it for them aswell) I feel totally at odds with myself.

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fannyannie · 28/06/2007 21:25

I have 3 DS's, 6yrs, 3yrs and 5 weeks old - very hard work (atm) but I've found it easier going from 2 to 3 than from 1 to 2.

(but don't hold your breath on the nappies thing) - DS1 will be 7 in September and isn't dry at night (but refuses to wear nappies of any description , DS2 is still wearing nappies at night (and he'll be 4 in November)

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Nemo2007 · 28/06/2007 21:27

I love love love having 3, Ds is 3.8,DD1 18mths, DD2 nearly 6mths. It is fantastic, all of mine have been bad sleepers but I see it as getting it out the way..lol DD2 is at the min my best sleeper getting up at 8am..while DD1 gets up at 5.30am and Ds 6am..pmsl
I really enjoy having 3 though and think as long as you want it do it!!

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iliketrees · 28/06/2007 21:33

Thanks for all your messages - and keep them coming..i am feeling inspired! It makes me excited reading all the messages - I thought you would all shout me down for being daft - everyone seems to have 2 these days. I am very intrigued by things you have said e.g Fannyannie - how is it easier going from 2 to 3 (people have said that and I don't get it?)

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mintchips · 28/06/2007 21:36

Its bloody hard work but good fun. DD1 will be 6 next month DD2 3 and DS17 months I love being the mum of 3, debating whether or not to have number 4!

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hatrick · 28/06/2007 21:37

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fannyannie · 28/06/2007 21:38

going from 1 to 2 was harder IMO because I'd been used to just having one child to look after - suddenly I had to organise (hahahahahah) my time better - from 2 to 3 I was already pretty used to having to juggle children so it's been easier to get used to another one.

I think it's a bit like entertaining a friend. one friend - easy only have to concentrate on them . 2 bit more juggling required - 3 - well what the hell just invite the whole street round

Also (I found) with your 1st you're VERY particular about things, 2nd one you ease off the pressure on yourself and by no.3 you can actually stand there and look objectively to see if something really needs to be done.

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mintchips · 28/06/2007 21:46

I found it much easier going from 2 to 3 as well. I think it was because when you have 1 its hard to imagine loving another baby as much as you do your first. Then when DD2 came along I couldn't get my head round splitting myself between the 2 and I generally was in a bit of a mess emotionally.

After about a year I felt myself coming out of it and soon wanted number 3. Luckily he was an easy baby and just fitted in and I knew I had enough love for all of them.

I know thats a bit waffled. Haven't really spoken about it before

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mintchips · 28/06/2007 21:46

Fannieannie put it much better!

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Wisp · 28/06/2007 22:02

I have three too,
The third was totally unplanned, but really changed our family for the better.
You are more relaxed, and great fun being in a little team,The older children love helping.

I had 3 under 5, and youngest is now 2, I love it. Very broody and would love 4 if I could
Hard work, but so rewarding!
Good Luck

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iliketrees · 28/06/2007 22:13

Thanks mintchips for raising the issue of loving more children. I have always thought 'how am I going to love this child enough?' and each time it comes and is more powerful than i imagined. I am wondering what it will be like to have another child of same sex (have one of each now) as I can't imagine another girl or boy being as wonderful as the ones I already have..wierd I know, but I suppose love does just grow. Thank you fannyannnie for finally making me see the whole 2 to 3 thingy - I get it now..just chuck another potato into the pot sort of thing

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Alderberry · 28/06/2007 22:16

I have three and would love another. They are 6, 4 and nearly 2. Three is great, I love it. You get more interactions between them all and life is more fun for them as there are more peolple to play with.

It can be very noisey though and I spend quite alot of time tidying up and folding up clothes!! It is hard work but really really worth it.

If you do have three get used to comments like " you must be mad" or " you're going to have your hands full " or " Are they all yours" as someone said to me today!!

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Aloha · 28/06/2007 22:19

I'd have loved another really, but dh said an emphatic no (he has three as I have a lovely stepdaughter) and the sleep was hideous.
Also my ds has Aspergers and I would worry a lot about a more severe SN in any other child. My children are 5.5 and 2.5 and as they get older I can sort of envisage another life for myself. I do feel sad at no more babies, but being an older mother I comfort myself that I was lucky to have two very fantastic children of spectacular beauty and charm, and to stop being so silly. Also I know nature is taking the decision out of my hands.
Babies are lovely though!

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Dinosaur · 28/06/2007 22:19

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Dinosaur · 28/06/2007 22:20

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foxinsocks · 28/06/2007 22:20

I think you're mad but if you want another one, I'd do it now while you still haven't completely got your life back .

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emkana · 28/06/2007 22:24

I do find that it's a lot of work, much more than two. The washing... and I'm really not particularly houseproud.

My third child has health problems and a genetic condition, and the pregnancy with all its worries did get to me, and I have spent many hours as well wondering about the impact on my two older children.

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sweetkitty · 28/06/2007 22:28

hiya timely thread for me I found out today I'm expecting number 3, will have 3 under 5 as well. We just felt their was someone else missing from around the dinner table, DD2 has never felt like my last child, absolutely hate pregnancy and not to fussed about newborns but love them when they get to about a year. Now I just have to find the money for a new car and a bigger house.

dinosaur - so sorry to hear abour DS3's diagnosis, I don't know anything about autism or how it affect all your lives but I do believe that special and gifted children are given only to special people who can cope and love them.

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