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Parenting

Do you find it easier to look after your dcs on your own rather than with your DH?

24 replies

Pitchounette · 26/06/2007 14:40

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OrmIrian · 26/06/2007 14:42

Yes. You have described us perfectly. My DH can spoil a day out with his sergeant major impression.

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gordieracer · 26/06/2007 14:42

Yes totally, like having another child, and haveing three of them fight. I hate it when men think they've got to be some sort of super disiplinarian, and all the hard work you put in goes out the window cause they just shout and don't let children do anything fun.

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nomdeplume · 26/06/2007 14:42

no. DH is away a lot with work at the moment (Russia last week, Spain this week) and it is hard. Even though he works away often and the kids are no trouble really, I still find it stressful being responsible for everything. Especially after a challenging day at work

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binkleandflip · 26/06/2007 14:43

Absolutely. Maybe it's because with me and her, it's girls together and he kind of throws that off a bit. We love doing twee stuff together which he considers beneath him

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Mercy · 26/06/2007 14:43

Yes! (mostly)

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meandmyflyingmachine · 26/06/2007 14:44

God no.

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maisemor · 26/06/2007 14:44

I know what you mean. I find it easier when hubby sometimes isn't there. I do prefer him to be there most of the time though. The children seem calmer. It must be easier for them as well though only having to listen to one adult instead of two adults that don't always say the same thing

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IntergalacticWalrus · 26/06/2007 14:45

Looking aftre the children is easier when DP is here, but I end up spending most of Monday trying to sort out the aftermath he leaves behind after the weekend (eg, 736482734 bits of newspaper cluttering up the sitting room, mud in hallway, general debris and clutter in the kitchen)

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LucyLamb · 26/06/2007 14:45

Yes - my dh is another sergeant major Dad ! DD is very sensitive and easily upset - I am working very hard to help her with her behaviour whilst he thinks the solution is to contradict my parenting - shout at her and shut her in her bedroom !

I am not happy with him at all !

He was away for 2 wks recently and although it was hard being on duty the whole time - it was also more relaxed and much happier !

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Posey · 26/06/2007 14:45

Not easier or harder, just different. I do find however that the kids argue more (with each other and us) when we are together as a family.

For least tension/rows/moaning etc, one child each!!

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geekgirl · 26/06/2007 14:48

yes, for the same reasons as LucyLamb
everything is a lot more harmonious without dh's whingeing and shouting

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daisyboo · 26/06/2007 14:49

Yes!

My DH and I split up when I was pregnant and I raised DS on my own for three years before we got back together. DH was happy to take my lead when we weren't together and now that we are, he has his own parenting style.. It's not wildly varying from mine, but the family dynamic is different. I'm bad cop to his good cop usually!

He also works away through the week which means re-adjustment to being a family of three at weekends.

We've just had another DC so it will be interesting to see how the dynamic changes again!

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NoodleStroodle · 26/06/2007 14:50

Yes - the DC and I seem to operate at one pace and DH at another.

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bigknickersbigknockers · 26/06/2007 14:52

yes, DH gets far too stressed far too easily.

Much more relaxed when he is not here

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Pitchounette · 26/06/2007 15:12

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greenpearl · 26/06/2007 15:15

Oh yes agree its easier without.
You are right that it flows better without them!
And, more importantly, those lovely long evenings with a glass of wine and the remote control in your hand make it SO worthwhile!!

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lucyellensmum · 26/06/2007 15:30

YES YES YES YES YES YES my DP adores his little girl and is a fantastic daddy, but he indulges and spoils her and as a result she is whiney and demanding, i am a mean old bitch and everything ticks along nicely.

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Pitchounette · 26/06/2007 19:46

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cat64 · 26/06/2007 19:55

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Highlander · 26/06/2007 20:12

oh yes..........

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yomellamoHelly · 26/06/2007 20:20

Yes in that when dh is around he wants to "do stuff" with dss. So house isn't kept on top of, more mess is created anyway and dss are more tired than usual so harder work generally. Plus I don't get much downtime so am also more tired than usual. Always feel knackered come Monday.
Do enjoy the change of pace though - one day blends into another really.

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FioFio · 26/06/2007 20:22

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Elibean · 26/06/2007 20:34

No, mostly not. I feel I have more time and attention to give the dds individually when dh is around, and I enjoy sharing the responsibility (especially the night time feeds ).

That said, I did find dd1 started trying to divide and rule when we were all together, at around 2.5...but if we're communicating well together, she fails miserably

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mumsville · 26/06/2007 22:50

Pitch

YES YES YES!

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