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Anyone's dc over 2 and still using a dummie?

24 replies

bobblehead · 19/06/2007 14:58

and if so when and how do you plan to stop it?

Not sure how to deal with dd1's addiction as she is VERY attached to it and dd2 is only 10 weeks old so it seems like she's had a lot to deal with lately anyway, but she just turned 2 and I would really like shot of it!

(Am a total wimp btw so no good at cold turkey!)

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accessorizewithbabysick · 19/06/2007 15:31

My ds is 3.6 and he's throwing them in the bin today - we got him a special present to replace them, he chose it. We did the withdrawal quite gently, first I didn't take them out with us, then it was only for sleep-time day and night, then only for night. I started this about a year ago, perhaps even longer, but had another baby in between He's not been using them at night for about a month, so I asked him if he was ready and he said yes, so finally we're shot.
TBH, I would make life easy for yourself at this stage with a newborn & leave the dummy issue well alone for a while. What's your objection to it? I hate the look of them, and think ds ought to be able to cope without them, but they've been a complete lifesaver at times. I'd gradually withdraw them and then let her decide when she's ready for the final push. They're just comfort for her at a very stressful time in her life, it's a huge adjustment having a baby sister!

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mylittlestar · 19/06/2007 15:33

Totally agree with accessorize. I think 2 is still very young, and with a new baby sister it's probably too much right now.

I'd do it as gradually as possible, reducing it bit by bit, then to just sleep times, and I'm sure eventually you'll know when it's the right time to get her to throw them in the bin!

Don't give yourself too much to worry about right now

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LilyLoo · 19/06/2007 15:45

my dd 2.5 still has hers and is very attached. DS gave his up on the eve of his 3rd birthday we prepared him and collected them all in a tub and gave them to his nanna to take to the hospital for the new babies. He then had time to get used to the idea and still had them for a short while through the new born months with dd. Will probably do the same with dd. Although someone on here once recommended burying them and telling them to water it and a dummy tree would grow , then plant a tree in the place which i thought sounded quite nice and exciting for a toddler.

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Desiderata · 19/06/2007 15:49

Mine's 2.7 and still loves his dummy.

Mind you, at this age he'd old enough to leave it behind when he's going out. I just tell him that it's not allowed in the playground/Mucky Pups/library, etc., and he happily hands it over.

It's more a comforter now when he's feeling sleepy and I don't foresee any huge problems in getting rid of it altogether soon.

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yelnats · 19/06/2007 16:03

DD1 was very attached to hers too - though at abou 20 months she had a a really dry patch on her chin from salivating (sp?) and wouldnt allow me to put any cream on it. I though it would be a good way to get it to heal by putting vaseline on the plastic bit of the dummy that rubbed her chin and hey ho she refused to even touch her dummy after that never mind put it in her mouth - mind you she did ask for it now and again for a few days but i just had to show her one (without the vaseline) and the thought put her off. Sounds cruel but it worked for us - even tough it was unintentional.

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hermykne · 19/06/2007 16:08

my ds is threee end july and he has his and his bear. lovesthem.
for his b day we're going to givethem to the dodi fairy as suggested a fellow mumsnetter.

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kels666 · 19/06/2007 17:21

My dd's 26 mths and still had one for naps / bedtime. Haven't quite worked out how to get rid of it yet

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laneydaye · 19/06/2007 17:23

3 in october and still sucking...... Just stopped it in the day now though, she can have when she goes to bed. Gonna do it one step at a time.

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reikizen · 19/06/2007 17:26

We had a visit from the 'Dodi Fairy' on dd1's 3rd birthday. We warned her in advance and kept saying how exciting it would be to get a present in exchange for her dodis. I was cr**ing it as she LOVED her dummy but not a whimper, not a cry, and she has never asked for it since! So it may not be as bad as you think!

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missgriss · 19/06/2007 17:26

My DS is 2.1 and still loves his. I try and limit it to night times only, but it's pretty useless really as DD (14 months) still has hers too and he just steals hers off her. I'll have to make them both give up at the same time I think.

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bobblehead · 19/06/2007 18:22

Thanks all, these replies make me feel much better

I think my real issue is the worry its doing something awful to her teeth- already they look like they are starting to prodrude a little although tbh that may just be my paranoia. I also don't know anyone else whose child still uses one at this age so I suppose I feel like I should be doing something, but the dummie offers her alot of comfort and she only really wants it when tired. The trouble is she seems to be tired the majority of the time as she's dropping daytime naps. I'm trying to restrict use to sleep time and car journeys but it does seem the more I push it the more she fights so I think you are all right in that I should just drop it for a while.

Luckily dd2 refuses to have anything to do with a dummy so I will not be going through this in another 2 years!

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serenity · 19/06/2007 18:36

DD is 3.6 amd we've just got rid of it (although she's been limited to bedtime onlys for quite a long time) I've been planning on doing it for ages, the DSs were deprived of theirs at a far earlier age, but we just never got around to it. In the end we actually forgot to take one with us when we went away for a weekend. She was fine without it once we'd explained what had happened, but because of how easily she coped without it, we decided to not let her have them when we got home either. She wasn't amused, but it was OK.

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accessorizewithbabysick · 19/06/2007 20:48

My brilliant plan to rid ds1 of his dummy failed, he decided he wasn't ready and sent back the umbrella! maybe when it rains, he might change his mind...

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tutu100 · 19/06/2007 20:55

My DS has just turned 2 and still has his dummy. He mainly has it just for sleeps, but when he is upset about it he asks for it and sometimes I give it to him. I know that several of the mums in a group that I go to think it's terrible he still has a dummy, but it's taken nearly 2 years to get him to sleep through the night, so forgive me if I don't want to tackle the dummy yet.

I too worry about the teeth, but I've been told by several people that dummy sucking is better than thumb sucking but make sure they have the dummy for as little time as possible.

I am just going to wait until ds is older before gradually taking away the dummy. I'm hoping he'll understand better that he doesn't need one. I agree with others though who have said to leave it for a while as you also have a newborn dd1 has got enough to adjust to.

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mustrunmore · 19/06/2007 20:57

Funnily enough , we're on night 3 of no dummy! Ds1 is 3.5. He's only ever had it at night, never in the day or outside of the bedroom. But he did love it. I was terriffied about disturbed sleep patterns, so we put it off and off (new baby, starting nursery, etc etc).But friends of ours havere taken the dummies to poor babies in Brazil, and given him a scooter he's been longing for for months.
It really hasnt been as bad as I thought. I've been keeping him out a bit later and really tiring him, (eg soft play including eating there, back home about 7pm). Night one: bed 7pm, asleep by 9.30pm. Night 2 bed 7.30pm, asleep 8.30pm. Night 3 bed 7pm, asleep by 7.30 pm

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akaJamiesMum · 19/06/2007 21:00

My DS has JUST given his up at age 4.5. He'd chewed most of the way through them and we'd prepared him for the fact that we would not be buying any more. It's been fine so probably could have stopped them before this but was too scared to.

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pooka · 19/06/2007 21:03

DD will be 4 in July.
We have jsut ditched the dummy. She fell over and split her lip, which necessitated A&E trip and having it glued inside.
So told her that she had to keep it clean for 5 nights. By night 4 we had introduced dummy fairy idea, and said fairy left a fairy costume for her.
She was fine actually. But then there was a very obvious reason why she couldn't have it - her lip needed to heal.
TBH I really couldn't bring myself to ditch it earlier. She only had it for afternoon nap and night time. Incidentally, she now seems to be dropping the afternoon nap as a result, which is sad (for me).
Another sadness is that she always had dummy and her noukie. And now because she can't have the dummy, noukie has also been dumped. It was her oldest friend.
DS is nearly 2 and pretty dummy obsessed. But having learned from experience, again I am in no hurry to get rid of them, because I can see how comforting it is for little ones to have things that help them sleep. With ds, it is a dummy and a clothie.

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rozzyraspberry · 19/06/2007 21:05

Neither of my 2 DS had dummies. However, DS1 (now 4.5) sucks fingers and DS2 (now 2.5) sucks thumb. I can't get them to stop as can't take their fingers/thumbs away!! I so wish it was dummies but can understand your worries - they get so attached to their sucking!!

Good luck - hope you're more successful with this than I've been!!

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pooka · 19/06/2007 21:06

RE: the teeth issue.
DD's dentist told me that she should get rid of the dummy before she was 4 or 5, when adult teeth preparing to come through.
Also, myself and dh both had braces (neither of us had dummies or thumb-sucked) and I couldn't help thinking that toothy probs may be inherited with my 2.
As it is, dd's teeth are fine. DS, I can see that he has inherited my mouth shape to a certain extent and I suspect he may have the same problem with a crowded mouth.

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UCM · 19/06/2007 21:08

My DS is fanatical about his dummy. He only has it at night and has ALWAYS only had it at night. But when asked if he would rather have a new toy/etc he said the dummy.

He is 3.9 but we did have another dummy sucker in January so I can't really bother with it at the mo. I did ask a few mates as I was worried about the teeth thing, they said helpfully, he can have braces

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JoshandJamie · 19/06/2007 22:14

My DS is 21 months. I said when he turned one that I was getting rid of it. But we'd just moved house, new nursery, he was ill, ya de ya da ya. So it stayed. Now he's getting close to two and I've said the same thing, I am getting rid of it.

We did have it down to just naps and bedtime. But then he got sick last week and has reverted to wanting it all the time. I try not to give it to him but he screams blue bloody murder and on rare occasions I have given in.

Then one night recently I had a little taster of what would happen if I went cold turkey - let's just say it wasn't pretty. I gave in.

He's too young to understand the dummy fairy. And if you say: can we put the dummy in the bin? He says yes, and then immediately asks for it. So really, there's no real understanding yet so don't know how to do it.

Why do I want to get rid of it? Partly because I hate the look of it. Partly because it has a noticeable impact on his personality/speech - he turns into zombie boy once he start sucking on it. And partly because he does (not always) wake for it at night.

I think I need to be more dedicated to giving him a soft toy whenever he gets upset so he starts to associate that with cuddles and comfort. But to date, he just flings whatever soft toy is offered and yells for DUM.

Dum was his first word. Beat mummy and daddy. Shows you where his priorities lie

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bobblehead · 20/06/2007 03:51

DD has Pink Bunny who comes everywhere with us and goes hand in hand with the dummie. I suspect if I got rid of pink bunny the dummie would follow but I would miss bunnt too much myself- he's one of the family!
Also not sure I can face the hell that would follow not having them around. Feel very reassured knowing there are other addicts out there too though

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ghosty · 20/06/2007 06:41


DD is 3.4 and still has her dummies at night. Never take them out of her room, never in the car, never out of the house. If she wants them she has to go to bed. She will go and have a lie down for half an hour or so a day just to have a suck ....

I am dreading the dummy fairy ... but she knows that soon she will say goodbye to her dummies

I want to do the present thing but can't at the moment as on Saturday we get our container of all our furniture and all their toys which we haven't seen for 3 months so it won't feel that exciting getting a new toy amongst all of that ...
Well, that's my excuse anyway ...
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bobblehead · 20/06/2007 14:07

I would be quite happy with what you have ghosty, in fact thats what I'm aiming for. She can have it at night until she's 17 for all I care I just want to stop the daytime whining for it!

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