Do you think siblings get on better if less than 2 years between them?

[looseleaf]

My brother and I are about 15 months apart and get on brilliantly. Whilst my cousins (2 girls) have 3 years between them and have never got on as well and are really competitive.
I know there might be no link whatsoever in this case and there'll be masses of exceptions but if we generalise do you think it's easier in some senses having children close in age from the point of view of them getting on well?

[Enid]

I think there is no link whatsoever and that there will be masses of exceptions

[CuttingCod]

DEFDEF*

if over 3 yyears you are knakcered imfe

[sandyballs]

My two DD's have just 3 minutes between them and spent the entire weekend arguing and fighting .

[CuttingCod]

i haev gaps of 2/2/ 2.5
all FABB firends
neevr fight and rarely row

[yaddayah]

not today no

[cheechymunchy]

I'd love to have another child nearer my DS's age, but nature's not letting me. I don't think it's something you should ponder about too much as there are many exceptions out there who don't have the choice.

[frogs]

I have gaps of 4 years and 4.5 years, and all get on v. well in the main.

[beansprout]

There is a year between me and my brother and we have never got on.

[Kaz33]

22 months and fight and row but also kiss and hug and play together.

I think they are friends and will hopefully support each other.

Me and my brother had four years between us, never had anything in common and fought constantly for most of our lives.

[looseleaf]

cheechymunchy I think you're right and I was asking as DD took over 2 years to conceive and I'd always wanted children close in age! But to be honest will be really lucky if have a second and CuttingCod and others encouraging re. the age thing anyway as seems often makes no difference

[KTeePee]

I worried about this sort of thing when I was having fertility problems - already had dd and was worried if the age gap was too much she would not be close to her sibling (tbh this was probably because I wasn't very close to my sister when we were little - 4 years between us). My gyny told me how her children were close in age and still didn't get on which reassured me...

I did end up with a ds after a 4 year gap and while there are obvious differences in things they are interested in due to the different ages and genders, they get on far better than I could have predicted (they do argue and bicker too but that is normal for siblings ime)

I have loads of friends who have siblings a couple of years older/younger than them and don't get on at all. In fact I think something like a 7 year gap can be the best from what I have witnessed amonst adults! I think it is down to personalities rather than age gaps....

[bumperlicious]

I don't think you can predict it tbh. You should have the next child when you think it is right for you all as a family, not just based on you DC.

[suedonim]

I think personality is more likely to dictate siblings relationships than age gap. But there was some research a while ago that reckoned the worst gap is 18mth to 3yrs. If the older child is less than 18mths they just accept another baby into the family because they don't know any different, while after 3yrs they can understand explanations. Supposedly.

I have biggish gaps between my dc, 4.5yrs, 8yrs and 9yrs but they get on okay. There's 2yrs between me and my younger bro and we've never got on.

[TheDullWitch]

21 months and fight like hell. Their personalities and interests could not be more different and the younger one is a competitive little sod, so constantly trying to upstage and beat his bigger bro. Bane of my life.

[mummydoit]

14 months between my two and they get on brilliantly. Some fights, obviously, but mostly they play really well together and are very affectionate too. They genuinely seem to love each other and enjoy being together. I think it helps that they are both boys and share the same interests. It will be interesting to see how their relationship changes as they get older, though I hope they will always remain good friends.

[HuwEdwards]

I think it's much more to do with parenting style.

[Aloha]

I think it is more to do with the children.

[nomdeplume]

My older kids are 18mo apart, fight like you know what and always have done (they are teenagers now).

OTOH, DS1 was 10 and DS2 was 8 when DD was born and they get on beautifully.

I advocate bigger age gaps.

[ekra]

There's likely to be less of a feeling of competetiveness between a boy and girl than two girls or two boys, I would have thought.

[suedonim]

Our budgies used to fight as well.